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*  ■*Ti»**W»t  •-^•^■— ^  •-**- '"' ' 


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l&ooki  bs  %l(b.  $.  IE.  Clark. 


WAYS    AND     MEANS    OF     CHRISTIAN     EN- 
DEAVOR.   $1.25. 
THE  CHILDREN  AND  THE  CHURCH.    76  ccnU. 
DANGER  SKJNALS.    78  cento. 
YOUNG  PEOPLE'S  FRAYER-MEETINGS.   75  ct». 
LOOKING  OUT  ON  LIFE.    75  cents. 
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D.  LQTHROP  COMPANY, 
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LOOKING  OUT  ON  LIFE. 


A   BOOK   FOR   GIRLS 


ON  PRACTICAL  SUBJECTS  BASED  ON  MANY  LErfERS 
FROM  WISE  MOTHERS 


^ 


z 


REV.  F.  E.  CLARK,  D.  D. 

PrenderJ  of  the   Unittd  Society  of  Christian  Kndeavor;  Author 

of"  The  Mossback  Correspondence  ^^  "  Danger  Signals," 

"  Our  Business  Boys,"  "  Ways  c  rd  Means." 

"  Young  People's  Prayer  Meetings," 

etc.,  etc. 


t'i!    & 


BOSTON 

D    LOTHROP    COMPANY 

WASHINGTON  STREET  OPPOSITI  BKOMFIILD 


\ "^  -^xv^: 


it ' 


COPTBISBT,  1892< 
BT 

D.  LoraBOP  Compant. 


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IBetikattti 

TO  MY  IDEAL  OF  A  PERFECT  WOMAN 

MY   MOTHER 

WHO  THIRTY-THREE  YEARS  AGO  TO-DAY 
EXCHANGED  EARTH  FOR  HEAVEN 

March  26, 1891. 


1 1 1 


BY  WAY  or  INTRODUCTION. 

This  book  had  its  origin  in  a  sincere  desire  to  help  the 
girls  and  youns;  women  of  the  present  day  to  a  nol>ler 
womauhoot:.  If,  after  the  manner  of  autlioi-s,  any  excuse 
Is  needed  for  presenting  it  to  the  pnblic  ilds  |ffn-pose 
must  be  its  sufflcient  apology.  Not  because  girls  are 
suffering  for  good  advice  is  this  bool<  offered  them,  but 
because  every  generation  needs  to  have  t\w  old  trutlis  that 
relate  to  the  outlook  on  life  put  in  fresh  guise. 

The  loving  counsel  of  wise  mothers  and  women  eminent 
In  public  life  which  is  here  incorporated  will,  I  believe, 
add  a  new  interest  to  the  themes  discussed.  However  small 
the  value  of  the  author's  own  words,  the  importance  of 
the  messages  of  otliers  of  whom  he  is  merely  the  mouth- 
piece, are  beyond  question. 

These  chapters  were  originally  given  as  lectures  to  an 
audience  embracing  hundreds  of  girls  and  young  women, 
and  the  somewhat  colloquial  form  of  aiUhess  ban  not  been 
changed,  as  the  author  wishes  to  speuk  to  the  audience 
that  reads  his  book  rather  than  merely  to  write  for  them. 
Some  parts  of  these  chapters  have  also  appeared  in  JTie 
Ladies'  Home  Journal  of  Philadelphia,  and  The  Oolden  Rule 
of  Boston.  That  in  some  cases  they  may  be  of  service  in 
bringing  the  Queen  to  her  throne,  lier  kingdom  and  her 
crown,  is  the  hope  and  prayer  of  the  author. 

F.  E.  C. 
Boston,  March,  18J2. 


iMi 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

A   YOUNG    woman's    KIGHT8 

CHAPTER  II. 

A   YOUNG   woman's    WKONOS 

CHAPTER  III. 

ANXIOUS    AND   AIMLESS 

CHAPTER  IV. 

FRIVOLITY   AND    FLIRTATION 


CHAPTER  V. 


GETTING    MARRIED 


CHAPTER  VI. 

MOTHERS,    SISTERS,    DAUGHTERS    . 

CHAPTER  VII. 

THS    QUEEN    ON    HER    THRONE 


32 


58 


84 


107 


129 


161 


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1 


■■■ 


LOOKING   OUT   ON   LIFE. 


CHAPTER   I. 


A  YOUNG  woman's  EIGHTS. 


ITie  Opinion  of  the  Poets  ~  Flattery  and  Calumny— 
Woman's  right  "to  shave  ani  sing  bass" —  JTie  Right 
to  he  Herself —  Fashion's  War  on  Individuality  ~  In- 
dividualiiy  not  Oddity— A  Girl's  Capital— The  Jiight 
to  Independence — The  Spirit  of  Self-Help  —  A  Youtig 
Woman's  "Niche"  —  Int.  Ilectual  Babies — Catching  a 
Husband—  Timothy  Titcomb's  Opinion— N.  P.  Willis' 
Tribute  to  his  Mother  —  A  Young  Woman's  Noblest 
Sight. 


I    ^ 


A  S  we  glance  through  the  poets,  ancient 
-^-*"  and  modern,  we  are  surprised  to  find 
the  varying  estimates  that  are  put  upon  woman- 
kind by  the  minstrels  of  the  ages.    Some  paint 

7 


pa 


8 


A  TOUNG    WOVVN'S   KIGHT8. 


her  as  an  arigel  just  come  down  from  heaven, 
others  as  a  tempting  fiend  just  come  up  from 
the  pit.  Even  the  same  poet— in  different  mood 
—  has  many  a  various  estimate  of  her  of  whom 
he  sings.  Thus  Byron  in  one  poem  describes 
one  of  his  fair  visions  in  words  that  many  of  us 
would  apply  to  the  woman  —  mother,  wife  or 
gister  —  whom  we  loved  best. 

«'  She  walks  in  beauty,  like  the  light 
Of  cloudless  climes  and  starry  skies; 

And  all  that's  best  of  dark  and  bright, 
Meet  in  her  aupect  and  her  eyes." 

And  in  another  one  he  declares : 

"  What  a  strange  thing  is  man !  and  what  a  stranger 
Is  woman !    What  a  whi-lwind  is  lier  head 

And  what  a  whirlpool  full  of  depth  and  danger, 
Is  all  the  rest  about  her." 


Lord  Lansdown  in  heartless  cynicism  puts  it 
this  way : 


leaven, 
3  from 
tmood 
whom 
scribes 
J  of  us 
wife  or 


A   YOUNG   WOMAN  8    RIGHTS. 

"  Mankind  from  Adam,  have  been  women's  foola, 
Women,  from  Eve,  have  been  the  Devil's  tools : 
Heaven  might  have  spared  one  torment  when  we  fell ; 
Not  left  us  women,  or  not  threatened  hell." 

While  Charles  McKay  looking  at  the  other  side 
of  the  picture,  writes  : 

"  Women  may  err,  woman  may  give  her  mind 

To  evil  thoughts  and  lose  her  pure  estate ; 
But  for  one  woman  who  aiiVonts  her  kind 

By  wicked  passions  and  remorseless  hate, 
A  thousand  make  amends  in  age  and  youth, 

By  heavenly  pity,  by  sweet  sympathy, 
By  patient  kindness,  by  enduring  truth, 

By  love,  supremest  in  adversity." 


m 


ranger 


r, 


1  puts  it 


Milton,  as  some  one  has  before  pointed  out, 
in  the  ninth  book  of  Paradise  Lost,  when  first 
he  realizes  the  enormity  of  Eve's  transgression, 
cries  out : 

"  O  fairest  of  creation,  last  and  best 

Of  all  God's  works,  creature  in  whom  excelled 

Whatever  can  to  si.^ht  or  thought  be  found. 

Holy,  divine,  good,  amiable  or  sweet, 

How  art  thou  lost !    How  on  a  sudden  lost." 


it  > 


"  4  1  j.;:uts)««sRn(f^ . 


10 


A    VOUNG    woman's   RIGHTS. 


And  in  the  next  book  he,  perceiving  more  and 
more  his  sin  and  hers,  and  their  common  fallen 
condition,  exclaims: 


"Oh I  why  did  God  create  at  last 
This  novelty  on  earth,  this  fair  defect 
Of  nature,  and  not  fill  the  world  at  once 
With  men  as  angels,  without  feminine." 


These  apparent  contradictions  of  the  poets 
are  very  suggestive  and  significant,  for  they 
show  us  the  many-sidedness  of  her  of  whom 
they  sing.  Tlie  bard's  keen  vision  sees  t..d 
possibilities  of  a  fiend  or  an  angel,  of  a  tormen- 
tor or  an  angel  of  light,  of  a  tempting  spirit  or 
a  messenger  of  God,  in  every  woman. 

Not  for  the  sake  of  speaking  the  usual  words 
of  flattery  and  the  polite  phrases  which  the  sub- 
ject often  calls  forth  would  I  take  your  time ; 
nor,  on  the  other  hand,  would  I  waste  it  by  re- 
peating the  cutting  sarcasm  so  often  served  up 
in  one  way  or  another  which  lash  the  supposed 


L.J.. 


nore  and 
lu  falleu 


t 

ice 

e." 

le  poets 
or  tliey 
F  whom 
ees  tiitj 
tormen- 
ipirit  or 

1  words 
the  sub- 
r  time ; 
i  by  ra- 
ved up 
apposed 


A  YOUNG   WOMAN  8   RIGHTS. 


11 


foibles  of  the  sex ;  but  because  there  are  in  your 
keeping,  young  women,  such  vast  opportunities, 
such  princely  fortunes,  which  you  may  either 
squander  worse  than  recklessly,  or  use  for  the 
enrichment  of  the  world,  would  I  address  you. 
Will  you  not  give  heed  to  these  thoughts 
which,  I  pray,  may  do  something  toward  build- 
ing up  in  each  of  you  an  earnest  Christian 
womanhood  ? 

In  passing,  an  i  since  we  have  been  speaking  of 
the  poets'  view,  let  us  notice  the  change  that, 
during  the  centuries,  has  come  over  the  writera 
who  have  turned  their  attention  to  you  (and 
there  is  scarcely  one  who  has  not  done  so). 
It  is  a  most  encouraging  sign.  Juvenal  in- 
forms us  that  "  there  are  few  disputes  in 
life  which  do  not  originate  with  a  woman," 
and  Plautus  that  "a  woman  finds  it  much 
easier  to  do  ill  than  well,"  and  that  "  women 
have  many  faults,  but  of  the  many  this  is 
the  greatest,  that  they  please  themselves  too 


I  t 


iW 


i 


12 


A  YOUNG  A 'OMAN'S  RIGHTS. 


much  and  give  too  little  attention  to  pleasing 
the  men,"  and  Virgil  that  "  a  woman  is  always 
changeable  and  capricious."    These  things  are 
what  heathen  writers  of  greatest  note  had  to 
say,  and  we  find  in   them   hardly  a   word   of 
praise  and  honor.     Cold,  insinuating,  heartless, 
vile   words    about  womankind    abound.     But, 
thar'n  God,  Christianity  has  been  at  work  in  the 
world  for  eighteen  hundred  yeai-s,  elevating  and 
leavening,  quickening  and    inspiring,   and   no 
class  has  so  felt  its  touch  as  those  whoui  you 
represent;  none  should  be  so  grateful  ."«  you 
that  He  whose  mother  was  a  Mary,  and  whose 
friends  were  the  sisters  of  Bethany,  made  you 
as  well  as  them  His  sisters  and  friends.    As  we 
read  these  cynical  calumnies  of  heathen  writers 
we    feel   what   a   wonderful    change   He    has 
wrought  who  comforted  the   ./idow's  heart  at 
the  gate  of  Nain,  and  raised  the  dead  girl  of 
Capernaum.     Out  of   degradation  worse   than 
death  has  He  raised  womankind.    The  women 


iu. 


A   YOUNG   woman's  BIGHTS. 


18 


of  whom  Tennyson  and  Longfellow  sing  are 
different  creatures  fi-ora  the  women  of  Virgil 
and  Horace,  because  Christ  lived  and  died. 
Now  we  feel  that  the  words  of  our  own  Lowell 
are  more  true  than  those  which  heathen  poet 
ever  penned. 

*'  Earth's  noblest  thing  a  woman  perfected." 

Now  we  feel  the  force  of  Barrett's  verse : 

"  Not  she  with  trslt'rous  kiss  her  Saviour  stup^, 
Not  she  denied  him  with  unholy  tongue ; 
She,  while  Apostles  shrank,  could  danger  brave, 
Last  at  his  cross  and  earliest  at  his  grave." 


But  we  have  not  time  to  linger  over  the 
poets,  ancient  or  modern,  if  we  make  even  an 
unimportant  contributor  to  the  most  important 
subject  of  a  young  woman's  rights.  I  trust 
that  no  enthusiastic  friend  of  the  political  rights 
of  woman  who  may  read  these  addresses,  will 
be  disappointed  becpuse  I  have  nothing  to  say 


'  'I  i 


14 


A  YOUNG   woman's  BIGHTS. 


about  the  rights  of  women  to  vote  and  attend 
the  caucus  and  hohl  office.  ^  Important  as  these 
questions   are,  I    believe  that  there   are   other 
rights  that  belong  inherently  and  unquestion- 
ably to  every  young  woman,  wliich  are  more 
important  still,  and  which  are  far  more  often 
overlooked.     Dr.  Holland  in  a  half-bantering, 
yet  in  its  purpose  wholly  serious  lecture  about 
women,  stands  up  stoutly  for  a  woman's  right 
to  shave  and  aing  bass  if  she  wants  to  do  so ; 
"but,"  he  adds,  "while  I  claim  the  right  of 
every  woman  to"  sing   bass,  I   confess   that  I 
should  not  care  to  see  it  exercised  to  any  great 
extent,  for  I  think  treble  is  by  all  odds  the  finer 
and  more  attractive  part  of  music. 

"  Bass  would  be  a  bad  thing  for  a  lullaby,  and 
could  only  silence  a  baby  by  scaring  it.  If  I 
can  witch  the  ears  and  win  the  hearts  of  men 
and  women  by  doing  that  which  I  can  do 
naturally  and  well,  then  I  shall  do  best  not  to 
exercise  my  right  to  do  that  which  I  can  only 


A  YOUNG  woman's  RIGHTS. 


16 


do  with  difficulty  and  unnaturally  and  ill.     .    . 
.    I  will  admit  all  the  rights  that  any  such 
womanclaima— all  that  I  myself  possess  — if 
she  will  let  me  alone,  and  kbop  her  distance  from 
me.    She  may  sing  bass,  but  I  do  not  wish  to 
hear  her."     And  this  leads  us  naturally  to  the 
fii-st  right  of  a  young  woman  which  I  would 
ask  you  to  insist  on  —  namely,  the  right  to  be 
herself.    Have  an  individuality  of  your  own  ; 
be  all  that  God  meant  you  should  be.    Let  no 
sentiment  or  fashion  rob  you  of  this  right. 
^    It  is  an  inalienable  one,  and  it  is  worth  more 
to  you  than  the  ballot   box  and  the  caucus. 
There  is  just  one  person  in  the  world  who  has 
your  work  to  do,  and  she  is  called  by  your  name. 
There  is  one  place  that  no  one  of  the  millions 
of  young  women  of  America  can  fill  except 
yourself.     You  can,  to  be  sure,  so  dwarf  and 
stunt  yourselves  that  you  may  fill  no  useful 
place,  but  it  will  not  be  God's  fault  or  nature's 
fault.    You  have  every  natural  aptitude  needed. 


'«.■ 


le 


A  YOUNG   WOMAN  S  RIGHTS. 


Whatever  your  voice,  treble  or  alto,  cracked  or 
musical,  there  is  a  melody  in  some  life  which 
you  can  best  awaken.  But  to  do  this  you  must 
be  yourself,  and  not  try  to  be  a  weak  imitation 
of  ten  thousand  others.  It  strikes  me  that  this 
is  one  of  the  rights  which  the  young  woman  of 
the  present  day  is  all  too  unwilling  to  insist 
upon.  She  always  seems  to  be  afraid  of  her  own 
individuality.  She  must  follow  the  prevailing 
fashion  if  it  takes  the  last  dollar  out  of  her 
pocket,  and  the  last  ounce  of  strength  out  of 
her  life.  If  bangs  are  the  fashion,  she  is  at 
once  banged  ;  if  frizzles  are  in  vogue,  she  must 
at  once  be  frizzled.  If  flounces  are  the  things 
that  other  girls  wear,  then  there  is  only  one 
thing  that  she  can  wear ;  and  she  hides  hei-self 
under  a  Gainsborough  hat  or  envelopes  herself 
in  a  sugar  scoop,  according  as  the  Gainsborough 
or  the  snp^ar  scoop  is  the  mode.  Why,  I  have 
more  respect  for  Mary  Walker  in  her  bloomers 
than  I  have  for  some  fashionable  girls,  whose 


A   YOUNG   woman's   RIGHTS. 


17 


d  or 
rhich 
must 
ition 
;  this 
m  of 
nsist 
own 
■iling 
her 
It  of 
is  at 
must 
lings 
'  one 
n-self 
jrself 
ough 
have 
tmers 
i^hose 


' .     >> 


sole  idea  is  to  make  dresaraakei-s'  dummies  of 
themselves. 

Not  that  1  have  any  quarrel  with  bangs  or 
frizzles  or  flounces  or  Gainsborough*  (all  these 
things  are  enveloped  in  too  deep  a  mystery  for 
the  average  man  to  understand  them),  but  .1 
have  a  quarrel  with  that  for  which  they  often 
stand  — the  total  lack  of  individuality  and 
appreciation  of  life's  mission.  Of  this  these 
things  often  tell. 

We  have  some  patience  with  the  sheep  that 
jumps  through  a  gap  in  the  wall  simply  because 
another  sheep  has  done  the  same  thing,  though 
it  would  be  much  easier  to  go  another  way  by 
itself,  but  we  expect  more  of  a  young  woman 
than  of  a  South-Down.  Our  Lord's  question 
implies  that  she  is  better  than  a  sheep. 

I  would  not  have  you  understand  that  I  mean 
by  individuality  something  odd  and  outre,  or 
pert  and  perverse.  To  be  one's  self  is  to  be  just 
what  nature  intended,  nothing  more,  certainly 


::,  ■  I 


\H 


A    V<)UN(J    WOMAN  8    UUiHTS. 


nothing  less.  It  is  not  to  Btrain  ftfter  oddi- 
ties and  quiddities,  nor  is  it  to  cojty  slavisldy 
some  otiiur  person's  oddities.  It  is  not  to  bend 
over  backwards  because  otliers  stoop  forward, 
nor  is  it  to  cultivate  the  Grecian  bt*nd  because 
the  ..eader  of  French  society  liappens  to  have  a 
crook  in  her  back.  It  is  not  to  try  to  sing  bass 
liecause  most  other  girls  sing  treble,  nor  is  it  to 
try  to  sing  treble  simply  Injcause  others  do,  when 
nature  hivs  given  you  an  alto  voice.  In  fact,  it 
seems  to  me  that  Mary  Walker  and  her  ilk  and 
the  butterflies  of  fashion  who  alwa3'8  paint 
themselves  with  the  same  spots  that  other 
butterflies  affect,  are  all  committing  the  same 
mistake  —  all  are  trying  to  be  what  God  and 
nature  did  not  intend  they  should  be,  one  party 
because  they  wish  to  be  different  from  the  rest 
of  the  world,  and  the  other  because  they  cannot 
bear  to  be  different.  If  God  has  given  you  a 
witty  tongue  and  lively  imagination,  use  them, 
but  do  not  try  to  ape  the  wit  of  some  one  else. 


A    YOIINO    woman's    Bir.HTS. 


!• 


If  your  place  is  amonR  the  hnulern  of  your  set, 
do  not  fiiil  to  till  it,  but  if  it  is  in  the  rank  and 
tile,  remember  that  in  ti^'htinfj  the  l«ttles  of  life 
m  well  as  of  the  country,  the  private  is  needed 
fts  well  as  the  general,  and  do  not  envy  his 
glittering  epaulets.  In  fact,  we  need  a  great 
many  more  privates  than  generals.  There  are 
ft   thousand   men  in  every   regiment  and  only 

one  colonel. 

Remember,  too,  that  the  private  soldier  stands 
by  himself;    that   he  cannot  do  the  general's 
work,  but  he  must  do  his  own.     If  your  capital 
in  life  is  only  a  pleasant  smile,  a  soft  voice,  a 
bright  face,  a   winning  manner,  and   none  to 
whom  I  8l)eak  have  less,  use  them,  every  one, 
and  use  all  you  have,  but  use  your  own.     Do 
not  try  to  acquire   the  smile   and  voice  and 
manner  of  some  one  else.     If  you  do  you  will 
simper  instead  of   smile,  you  will  make  eyes 
instead  of  shooting  dangerous  glance's,  and  you 
will  really  repel  when  you  intend  to  atti-act. 


20 


A  YOU^^G  woman's  RIGHTS. 


In  short,  insist  on  your  personal,  God-given 
right  to  be  yourself. 

Another  of  your  rights  which,  I  hope,  you 
will  all  insist  upon,  a  right  which  is  worth  far 
more  than  your  right  to  shave  and  sing  bass,  is 
your  right  to  be  self-reliant  and  in  the  best 
sense  of  the  term,  independent. 

I  know  that  it  is  often  said  that  woman 
should  be  like  the  vine,  lithe  and  flexible,  twin- 
ing around  the  masculine  oak,  covering  up  his 
defects  and  gracing  his  gnarled  branches.  I 
think  this  vine  and  oak  simile  has  been  over- 
done, but,  admitting  its  force  —  and  it  has 
much  force  —  let  us  remember  that  there  is  a 
vast  difference  between  a  healthy  vine  and  a 
parasitic  creeper. 

The  vine  flourishes  wherever  it  is  planted, 
and  graces  a  wooden  trellis  or  the  blank  side  of 
a  house  as  well  as  the  living  tree.  It  has  its 
own  roots  in  the  ground,  is  fed  by  the  sap 
which  it  collects  foi  itself,  and  bears  its  own 


A  YOUNG   woman's  RIGHTS. 


fruit.  The  parasite  always  fer  Is  on  the  life  of 
that  against  which  it  leans.  It  is  nourished 
only  by  the  sap  of  the  stronger  plant ;  it  uses 
the  roots  and  leaves  of  the  stronger  plant  to 
furnish  it  food;  it  has  no  independent  life  of 
its  own ;  it  beai-s  no  fruit  in  itself ;  it  dimin- 
ishes the  yield  of  that  which  supports  it;  in 
short,  it  is  always  a  weakness  and  a  nuisance  ; 
it  serves  no  purpose  except  the  ornamental, 
and,  when  we  know  its  true  nature  and 
character,  it  loses  its  doubtful  claim  to  beauty. 

This,  then,  is  what  I  mean  to  urge  when  I 
say  insist  on  your  right  to  be  self-reliant  and 
independent.  Be  a  vine  if  you  will,  but  do  not 
be  a  parasite.  Cling  to  a  stronger  nature  by  a 
thousand  delicate  tendrils,  but  have  a  root  of 
your  own,  bear  fruit  of  your  own,  do  not  sap 
the  life  of  another  to  keep  yourself  alive.  Have 
some  other  mission  than  the  very  equivocal  one 
of  being  merely  ornamental.  Theji,  if  the  sup- 
port on  which  you  lean  and  around  which  your 


22  A  YOUNG    WOMAN  8   RIGHTS. 

affections  twine,  fails,  as  fail  it  often  does,  you 
will  not  be  torn  up  by  the  roots,  but  will  be 
able,  like  the  oak-tree  itself,  to  live  a  useful, 
fruit-bearing  life.  I  have  many  wise  words  to 
bring  you  upon  this  point  from  those  who  have 
kindly  interested  themselves  in  your  welfare. 
I  cannot  begin  to  quote  them  all,  but  let  me 
give  you  some. 

One  whose  name  is  a  household  word  in  two 
continents  by  reason  of  her  labors  in  the  tem- 
perance cause,  writes  as  follows : 

"  The  point  that  most  needs  strengthening  In  a  young 
woman's  character  is  a  noble,  cheery,  helpful  spirit  of  self- 
help.  The  indivklualism  of  Christ's  gospel  needs  devel- 
opment and  application  among  our  girls,  and  will  enable 
them  to  save  themselves  and  the  republic." 

Another,  also  well  known,  and  well  loved 
wherever  known,  writes : 


"  Self-rellanec  is  a  point  of  character  to  be  emphasized. 
Marriage  is  tlie  natural  and,  In  some  cases,  the  desirable 


A  YOUNG   WOMAN  8  RIGHTS. 


and  blessed  ulUmate;  but  I  take  It  that  the  Rlrls  best 
qualltted  to  enter  this  holy  estate  and  bravely  meet  Its 
duties  and  responsibilities  are  tliose  for  whom  marriage 
was  not  the  one  aim  of  existence  —  who  had  a  life  to  live 
outside  of  this  -  a  plan  of  life  It  may  be,  at  all  events  an 
earnest  purpose." 

Another,  an  eminent  edueator,  whose  daily 
life  influences  for  good  each  day  many  young 
women,  writes : 


"  One  way  to  strengthen  character  In  young  women,  I 
think,  Is  to  make  them  realize  that  life  Is  real,  and  that 
they  have  a  niche  to  fill  somewhere,  and  that  It  Is  their 
business  to  be  faitliful  In  the  performance  of  every  little 
duty  as  It  comes  to  them.  Many  a  house  would  be  In  deep 
distress  If  the  daughter  who  thinks  she  does  nothing,  but 
who  fills  in  all  the  little  Insignificant  places,  was  taken 
from  It." 

How  true  that  is  I  but  such  a  daughter  is 
never  a  parasite,  however  gentle  and  clinging 
and  unobtrusive  she  is ;  she  is  a  fruitful  vine, 
with  a  root  of  her  own. 

"What  I  think  needs  strengthening  in  the 


Jfi 


li^ 


24 


A  YOUNG   WOMAN  8  RIGHTS. 


young  women,"  writes  another,  "  is  decision  of 
character.  A  strong  determination  to  please 
God.  to  know  the  right  and  to  do  it,  regardless 
of  the  opinion  of  the  world." 

"It  sometimes  seems  to  me,"  are  the  wise 
words  of  another, "  that  we  are  bringing  up  a  set 
of  intellectual  babies  —  if  I  may  use  such  an  ex- 
pression —  utterly  without  self-reliance  ;  unable 
to  think  for  themselves  or  depend  upon  them- 
selves. Life  is  made  too  easy  —  too  smooth  sail- 
ing ;  when  the  time  of  decision  comes,  the  girls 
are  frightened  or  indifferent,  and  continue  to  do 
the  easiest  thing  —  to  drift  with  the  current." 

We  must  revolutionize  our  whole  notions 
that  a  young  woman  has  nothing  to  do  but  to 
angle  for  and  catch  a  husband.  Fishing  is 
good  for  a  recreation,  but  it  is  not  well  for  too 
many  to  take  it  up  as  the  serious  and  only  busi- 
ness of  life.  There  is  much  poetry  surrounding 
the  rippling  trout-stream  on  the  summer  morn- 
ing, with  the  whispering  woods  and  glimpses  of 


A  YOUNG  V.'0MAN'8  BIGHTS. 


25 


blue  sky  overhead,  and  the  romantic  vistas  of 
forest  before  and  behind,  but  I  iir.agine  that  the 
poor  fellows  on  the  Grand  Banks  who  do 
nothing  but  fish  for  a  living,  find  it  dreary  and 
often  hopeless  and  unproductive  toil.  I  am  very 
sure  that  young  women  who  have  no  resources 
within  themselves,  no  independence  of  charac- 
ter, and  no  other  means  of  employment  except 
fishing  for  a  husband  in  the  whirlpool  of  society, 
m-.3t  often  be  miserable  and  heart-broken.  If 
they  make  this  their  sole  business  in  life,  too, 
they  do  not  often  succeed  very  well,  but,  while 
hoping  to  hook  a  leviathan,  they  often  catch  a 
gudgeon  or  a  very  small  sprat. 

Timothy  Titcomb  has  some  wise  advice  on 
this  point.     He  says: 

"Were  I  as  rich  as  Croesus,  my  girls  should  have 
Bomethlng  to  do  resularly,  just  as  soon  as  they  should 
become  old  enough  to  do  anything.  ...  A  woman 
helpless  from  any  other  cause  than  sickness  is  essentially 
a  nuisance.  There  Is  nothing  womanly  and  ladylilte  in 
helplessness.    .     .    .    Young  woman,  the  glory  of  your 


:i: 


-tr:     I 


4  W 


26 


A  YOUNG   WOMAN  8  RIGHTS. 


life  is  to  do  something  and  be  something.  If  you  have 
the  slightest  desire  to  be  loved;  If  you  would  be  admired, 
respected,  revered ;  if  you  would  have  all  sweet,  human 
sympathies  clustering  around  you,  while  you  live,  and  the 
tears  of  a  multitude  of  friends  shed  upon  your  grave  when 
you  die,  you  must  be  a  working  woman — living  and 
working  for  others,  and  building  up  for  yourself  a 
cliaracter,  strong,  symmetrical,  beautiful." 

Thus  you  will  show  the  world  the  true  love- 
liness, of  woman's  nature.    Thus  you  will  — 

'•  Show  us  liow  divine  a  thing 
A  woman  may  be  made." 

*'  Each  young  lady  has  a  specialty,"  writes  to 
me  one  of  your  friends.  "  What  is  it  ?  "  You 
think  at  once  of  painting,  music,  embroidery, 
or  some  of  those  nameless  and  wonderful  things 
that  are  done  with  worsted  and  plenty  of  time. 
Tiiese  things  are  well  enough  in  their  way,  if 
there  is  talent  and  time  for  them  at  your  dispo- 
sal ;  but  there  is  one  specialty  in  which  you  all 
have  the  right  to  indulge.  Nature  fitted  you 
for  this  specialty,  God  designed  you  for  it,  your 


bk^l 


A  YOUNG  woman's  filUUTS. 


2T 


own  souls  will  never  be  satisfied  unless  you 
show  the  loveliness  and  divinely  modest  self- 
foigetfulness  of  a  true  woman's  nature. 

"  You  can  lighten  your  father's  burdens,"  it 
has  been  well  said.  "  Yon  can  restrain  your 
brothers  from  vicious  society.  You  can  relieve 
your  failing  and  faded  mother  of  much  care. 
You  can  gather  the  ragged  and  ignorant  chil- 
dren at  your  knee  and  teach  them  something  of 
a  better  life  than  they  have  seen.  You  can 
become  angels  of  light  and  goodness  to  many 
stricken  hearts.  You  can  read  to  the  aged. 
You  can  do  many  things  that  will  be  changed 
to  blessings  upon  your  own  soul.  Florence 
Nightingale  did  her  work  in  her  own  place ;  do 
your  work  in  yourj,  and  your  Father,  who 
seeth  in  secret,  shall  reward  you  openl^y ." 

This  chapter  must  not  be  closed  without 
calling  attention  to  the  greatest  glory  and  orna- 
ment of  womanly  character  as  it  is  of  manly 
character  —  Christlikeness.     There  is   no -one 


I 

Ik' 

t 


H 


W^ 


t8  A  YOUNG   woman's  RIGHTS. 

word  that  expresses  so  much.  Leave  out  this 
element  and  the  chief  charm  is  gone,  the  rose 
is  despoiled  of  its  fragrance,  the  crown  has  lost 
its  purest  gem.  A  well-known  writer  has  ex- 
pressed himself  none  too  strongly  when  he  says 
of  the  godless  woman  : 


"  There  seems  to  he  no  light  In  her  —  no  glory  proceed- 
ing from  her.  There  is  something  monatrous  about  an 
utterly  godless  woman.  She  is  an  unreasonable  wor>an. 
She  is  an  offensive  woman.  Even  an  utterly  godless  man, 
unless  he  be  debauched  and  debased  to  the  position  of  an 
animal,  deems  such  a  woman  without  excuse.  He  looks 
on  her  with  suspicion.  He  would  not  have  such  a  one 
take  care  of  his  children.  He  would  not  trust  her.  .  . 
The  boy  that  feels  that  his  name  is  mentioned  in  a 
good  mother's  prayers,  is  comparatively  safe  from  vice 
and  the  ruin  to  which  It  leads.  The  sweetest  thought 
that  N.  P.  WIUls  ever  penned  grew  out  of  a  reference  to 
his  pious  mother's  prayers  for  him.  Tossed  by  the  waves 
in  a  vessel  which  was  bearing  him  homeward,  he  wrote : 


"  •  Sleep  safe,  O  wave-worn  mariner, 
Nor  fear  to-night,  nor  storm,  nor  seal 

The  ear  of  Heaven  bends  low  to  her, 
He  comes  to  show  who  sails  with  me.' " 


A  YOUNG  WOMAN  8  RIGHTS. 


29 


For  a  moment  before  I  close  this  subject  let 
me  call  your  attention  to  the  fact  that  your 
highest  right,  young  women,  is  also  your  high- 
est privilege.  To  you  more  than  to  any  one 
class  is  committed  the  future  of  the  kingdom  of 
God. 

Our  churches  are  made  up  of  women  in  the 
proportion  of  three  to  one.  Many  of  these 
are  young  women.  Each  one  has  not  only  her 
own  influence  to  exert,  but  very  largely  decides 
what  the  life  of  some  father,  brother,  son  or 
lover  siiall  be  ;  whether  it  shall  be  a  godly  or  a 
godless  life     ;  »:  e       ; 

Your  highest  right  to  show  the  beauty  of 
Christliness  is  also  your  highest  privilege  and 
heaviest  responsibility.  By  you  and  such  as 
you  the  kingdom  of  God  may  be  established  in 
all  the  land  and  for  all  time.  Let  me  tell  you 
an  old  story  that  has  a  lesson  for  every  one  of 
you. 

In  a  newly  settled  region  of  our  land  some 


m^ 


iw 


80 


A  YOUNG   woman's  KIGHT8. 


men  were  raising  the  heavy  frame-work  of  a 
mill.    The  united  strength  of  all  the  men  in 
the  community  was  called  into  action.     They 
raised    the    heavy   frame-work    part   way,   but 
could  get  it  no  further.    Their  utmost  exertion 
could  not  raise  it  another  inch.     They  could 
not  let  go  or  it  would  crush  them.    Their  fail- 
ing strength  could  not  hold  it  where   it  was 
much  longer.    In  their  extremity  a  messenger 
was  sent  for  the  women  of  the  little  village. 
In  urgent  haste  they  flocked  to  the  scene.    A 
little  stream  flowed  between  them  and  the  mill. 
"  Don't  mind  the  water,  come  and  help  us,"  cried 
the  fathers  and  brothers.    They  dashed  through 
the  stream,  they  stood  beside  the   men,  they 
lifted  with  all  their  might,  and  the  timbers  rose 
upright  and  fitted  into  their  place,  and  all  were 

safe. 

I  believe  this  little  story  is  prophetic.  The 
Temple  of  the  Kingdom  of  God  is  being  raised, 
but  all  must  lend  a  willing  hand  inspired  by  a 


A   YOUNG   woman's   RIGHTS. 


81 


loving  heart.  The  women  are  grandly  coming 
to  the  front  —  in  tempemnce  effort,  in  church 
life,  in  Christian  Endeavor  Societies,  in  Sunday- 
school  work,  and  above  all  by  the  uplifting  in- 
fluences of  a  lovely,  chaste,  Christian  example, 
the  building  is  being  reared  and  the  capstone 
will  surely  be  laid  in  God's  good  time- 
Have  you  a  part  in  this  good  work?  Are 
you  lending  your  heart  and  word  and  influence 
to  the  cause  of  Christ,  for  God  and  home  and 
native  land? 
To  do  this  is  a  young  woman's  noblest  right. 


CHAPTER  II. 


A  YOUNG    woman's  WRONGS. 


What  shall  we  do  with  Our  Daughtenf  —  The  Coming 
Woman— Openlnffs for  Women—Some  Imayinary  Wronyt 
—  Self- Inflicted  Wrongs  — An  Inordinate  Love  of  Imagin- 
ation —  The  Art  of  Pleasing  —  Love  of  Dress  —  T/te 
Peacock  Girl  —  Keeping  up  Appearances—  Narrow  Views 
o/  Life  —  The  Woman  and  the  Poodle  —  Living  up  to 
their  Blue  China  —  What  your  SisUra  have  Done  —  The 
Consecrated  Life.  , 


AS  a  young  woman's  moat  important  rights 
are  those  which  nature  has  conferred 
upon  her,  or  which  every  young  woman  may 
hope  to  attain,  so  her  deepest,  deadliest  wrongs 
are  not  those  which  man  has  inflicted  upon  her, 
or  which  any  real  or  supposed  disadvantage  of 
sex  has  made  inevitable,  but  they  are  wrongs 

82 


•iS 


A  YOUNG  woman's   WU0N08. 


88 


Coming 
H>o)i(/« 
hnagin- 
—  The 
V  Viftea 
f  up  to 
I—  The 


rights 
f erred 
n  may 
irrongs 
m  her, 
age  of 

HfTOngB 


which  she  voluntarily  inflicts  upon  herself.    As 
her  highest  right  is  to  be  herself,  to  be  "a  per- 
feet  woman,  nobi/  planned,"  to  be  all  that  God 
intended,  self-reliant,  self-forgetful  and  above 
all  truly  Christian,  so  her  greatest  wrong  is  a 
degradation  and  lowering  of  her  nature  which 
maHes  her  less  than  she  may  l)e,  less  than  (lod 
intended  she  should  be.     I  admit  that  in  the 
past,  woman  has  not  always  had  a  fair  chance, 
she  has  not  had  all  her  rights  accorded  her. 
She  has  been  treated  sometimes  as  the  slave, 
and  sometimei  as  the  toy  of  man. 

Even  now,  in  some  respects,  I  do  not  think 
she  is  treated  altogether  fairly.  She  does  not 
always  receive  as  much  pay  for  the  same  work 
as  a  man  would  receive.  It  is  a  harder  struggle 
oftentimes  for  her  to  mount  the  ladder  of  busi- 
ness or  professional  success,  but,  thank  God,  all 
these  unfair  distinctions  are  passing  away.  In 
other  respecta  her  rights  and  immunities  and 
privileges  are  greater  than  of  the  most  favored 


wrm 


34 


A   YOUNG    woman's    WRONGS. 


man,  and  the  unjust  inequalities  are  being 
leveled  so  fast  that  we  hardly  need  to  consider 
them  in  comparison  with  the  deadlier  wrongs 
which  a  young  woman  may  almost  Jincou- 
Hciously  inflict  upon  herself.  Mrs.  Mary  A. 
Livermore,  in  her  valuable  book  entitled,  "  What 
shall  we  do  with  our  Daughters?  "  notes  and  ad- 
mits this  glorious  change  which  has  been  taking 
place  in  the  outward  condition  of  mankind,  so 
frankly  and  finely,  that  I  must  quote  a  few 
sentences. 

Speaking  of  a  book  of  Margaret  Fuller's 
which,  forty  yeai-s  ago,  attracted  her  attention, 
sho  mentions  two  mottoes  at  the  head  of  the 
opening  chapter;  one  underneath  the  other, 
one  contradicting  the  other.  ' 

"  The  first  was  an  old-time  adage,  indorsed 
by  Shakespeare,  believed  in  by  the  world,  and 
quoted  in  that  day  very  generally.  It  is  not 
yet  entirely  obsolete : 

"  'Frailty,  thy  name  is  woman.' 


// 


■■I 


A  YOUNG   woman's  WRONGS. 


86 


«  Underneath  it,  and  unlike  it  was  the  other : 


'  The  Earth  waits  for  her  Queen.' 


"  The  f^i-st  describes  woman  as  she  has  been 
undei-stood  in  the  past ;  as  she  masqueraded  in 
history;  as  she  has  been  made  to  figure  in 
literature,  as  she  has,  in  a  certain  sense,  existed. 

"  The  other  propliesied  that  grander  type  of 
woman,  toward  which,  to-day,  the  whole  sex  is 
moving  —  consciously  or  unconsciously,  will- 
ingly or  unwillingly  —  because  the  current  sets 
that  way,  and  there  is  no  escape  from  it. 

"The  hope  of  many  is  so  centered  in  the 
'  coming  man,'  that  the  only  questions  of  inter- 
est to  them  ajc  those  propounded  by  James 
Parton  in  the  Atlantic  Monthly:  'Will  the 
coming  man  smoke?'  'Will  he  drink  wine?' 
and  so  on  to  the  end  of  the  catechism.  But  let 
it  not  be  forgotten  that  before  this  'coming 
man '  will  mal;e  his  appearance,  his  mpther  will 


86 


A  YOUNG  woman's   WRONGS. 


precede  him,  and  that  he  will  be  very  largely 
what  his  mother  will  make  him." 

This  question  of  the  legal  and  social  wrongs 
of  womankind  is  one  that  we  can  safely  dismiss 
as  either  already  solved  or  so  far  on  the  way  to 
solution  that  it  need  not  greatly  trouble  us. 
As  far  as  the  laws  of  men  stand  in  th;'  way,  you 
can  be  just  about  what  you  want  to  be,  young 
women. 

If  you  desire  an  education,  you  can  get  as 
good  a  one  at  Smith  or  Wellesley  or  Vassar  as 
your  brothers  can  get  at  Amherst  or  Dartmouth 
or  Williams.    If  you  have  artistic  tastes  there  is 
no  picture  or  sculptui-e   gallery  in  the  world 
that  will  reject  your  productions   because  you 
are  a  woman.    If  you  are  of  a  literary  turn, 
the  magazines  and  the  publishers  will  take  * 
good  thing  from  you,  and  pay  you  as  much  F- > 
it  as  if    you  were   a  man.      Charles   Egl^iii, 
Craddock  became  at  once  twice  the  lion  she  was 
before,  when   it  was  found  that  she  was  an 


(' 


A  YOUNG  woman's  WRONGS. 


87 


attractive  young  woman,  instead  of,  as  had 
been  supposed,  a  merely  masculine  product  of 

* 

the  Tennessee  mountains. 

To  be  sure,  there  are  some  kinds  of  business 

from  which  you  are  still  debarred.    You  would 

hardly  find   it  easy   to  obtain  a  situation  as 

horse-car  driver  or  coal-heaver  or  blacksmith; 

but  I  do  not  suppose  you  greatly  hanker  after 

such  positions  ;  at  any  mte,  you  have  an  equal 

advantage    of    the    other  sex,  since,  for    the 

most  part,  men  are  excluded  from  dressmakers' 

establishments  and  sick  rooms,  where  the  gentie 

hand  and  light  foot  of  a  nurse  are  required. 

No,  you  need  not  groan  over  any  imaginary 
wrongs  in  thU  year  of  grace.  Whatever  may 
have  been  true  in  the  past,  you,  like  your 

brother,  may  be  the  architect  of   your  own 

fortune  to-day. 

Your  wrongs,  like  his,  are  those  which  you 

will  inflict  upon  yourself.    Let  me  faithfully 

call  your  attention  to  some  of  these. 


UgHMnMAP" 


88 


A  YOUNG  woman's  WUONGS. 


;  ! 


1 1 


The  first  of  a  young  woman's  wrongs  that  I 
would  mention  is  an  inordinate  love  of  admira- 
tion.  This  wrong  is  one  of  woman's  rights 
perverted,  to  be  suie,  but  it  nevertheless 
becomes  one  of  her  chief  wrongs,  just  iis  most 
of  the  evils  of  the  world  are  perverted  virtues. 

A  young  man  is  not  under  the  dominion  of 
this  perverted  right  to  the  same  extent  by  any 
means.  He  very  early  finds  that  his  success  in 
the  world  depends  upon  sterling  qualities  of 
heart  and  bi-ain,  and  not  upon  his  good  looks 
or  upon  his  powers  of  cajolery  or  flattery,  or 
his  ability  to  excite  admiration. 

He  finds  that  the  boy  from  the  country,  with 
the  cowhide  boots  and  homespun  jacket  and  un- 
couth manners,  if  he  has  integrity,  good  habits 
and  a  strong  will  on  his  side,  is  far  more  likely 
to  succeed  than  the  city-bred  boy  who  lacks 
these  qualities.  The  dude,  with  his  arms 
akimbo,  and  ivory-headed  cane,  even  if  he 
plastera  his  hair  upon  his  forehead  in  the  most 


// 


A  YOUNG  woman's  WRONGS. 


89 


approved  style,  finds  very  soon  that  these  graces 
are  not  the  open  sesame  of  business  prosperity  ; 
and  the  rougher,  sterner,  more  manly  virtues 
are  thus  often  developed  at  the  expense  of  the 
gentleman.    But  with  the  girl  it  is  different. 
She  finds  that  she  can  wheedle  an  extra  five 
dollars  out  of  her  father's  pocket  by  looking 
pretty  and  with    hug  and  kiss  and  coaxing 
manner  more  easily  than  in  any  other  way.    As 
she  grows  older  she  finds  that  these  same  bland- 
ishments—many of  them  exceedingly  super- 
ficial —  are  her  chief  stock  in  trade.    Personal 
attractions  command  a  premium,  while  real, 
sterling  worth  of  heart  or  brain  fall  below  par, 
and  very  soon  efforts    io  catch    the  passing 
applause  of  an  admiring  glance  absorb  aU  the 

attention.  '   >   • 

I  am  very  far  from  implying  that  the 
proper  desire  to  please  and  attract  is  not  most 
praiseworthy.  The  message  which  one  of  your 
friends  sends  to  you  through  me  is  very  true : 


■ 

WW 


40 


A  YOUNG  woman's  WRONGS. 


"  A  great  art  Is  the  art  of  pleasing.  Let  a  young  woman 
be  lavish  of  her  gifts  and  graces  in  this  direction.  Let 
her  use  all  her  wit  and  fascination  in  voice,  manner  and 
dress  to  please,  that  she  may  elevate  and  regenerate  not 
society  only,  but  the  home." 

But,  when  we  have  said  all  this,  it  still 
remains  true  that  this  pleasant  road,  if  pursued 
too  far,  runs  always  into  a  trap  and  snare. 

"  One  danger  that  seems  to  belong  especially 
to  girls,  and  which  attracts  them  in  childhood, 
is  tb^  love  of  flattery,"  writes  one,  "  and  higher 
praise  than  they  e&tti  for  every  little  thing 
they  do. 

"  When  this  is  withheld,  or  a  reproof  admin- 
istered  for  neglect  of  duties,  a  flood  of  tears 
is  apt  to  be  the  immediate  result,  and  a  general 
inability  to  meet  the  stern  realities  of  life  the 
ultimate  result." 

"One  of  the  greatest  dangers  lying  in  the 
path  of  a  young  woman,"  writes  another,  "  is 
the  great  desire  to  obtain  the  approbation  of 
the  world.    How  often  she  seeks  to  have  her 


A  YOUNG   woman's  WRONGS. 


41 


IS 


vanity  gratified  by  trying  to  excel  in  worldly 

affairs ! " 

And  just  here  we  come  very  close  to  a  wrong 
that  is    more   specific   and   more   wide-spread 
than  almost  any  other;  the  inordinate  love  of 
admiration  as  indicated  by  the  undue  attention 
to  dress.    It  is  a  subject  which  a  man  may  wall 
hesitate  to  attack,  and  had  I  simply  my  own 
words  to  bring  I  should  certainly  hesitate  long 
before  spea.ing;  but  scores  of  warnings  have 
been  sent  me  for  you  on  this  point,  and,  after 
what  your  mothers  and  teachers  have  written,  I 
cannot  but  feel  that  it  is  a  most  important 

matter. 

We  are  not  anchorites  and  we  believe  in  no 
sumptuary  laws  to  regulate  the  cut  of  your 
gown  or  the  color  of  the  ribbons  in  your  bon- 
net,  and  1  am  sure  that  all  your  friends  would 
agree  with  me  when  I  say  that  it  is  a  young 
woman's  duty  to  dress  attractively  and  as  well 
as  she  can  afford ;  but  we  also  believe  that  there 


4S 


A   YOUNG    WOMAN  8    WltONGS. 


is  something  of  vastly  more  importance  than 
the  cut  of  your  gown  and  the  color  of  your 
bonnet  strings.  You  are  committing  a  grievous 
wrong  to  a  nature  that  was  meant  to  be  angelic, 
nay,  rather  godlike,  when  you  center  all  atten- 
tion on  the  feathers  that  bedeck  and  on  the 
flounces  that  will  go  out  of  fashion  to-morrow. 
To  seek  admiration  in  this  way  only,  is  the 
surest  way  in  the  long  run  to  lose  respect  and 

love.  -»'   i^'«^     ■.K-;u,;-:i:-L.F  *s 

The  peacock  can  spread  the  most  gorgeous 
tail  of  any  bird  1  know,  but,  as  he  goes  strutting 
about,  endeavoring  to  display  every  individual 
feather,  he  excites  laughter  rather  than  admira- 
tion, while  the  modest  little  native  sparrow  in 
delicate,  unobtrusive  suit  of  homely  brown  we 
love  and  rejoice  in,  as  he  poura  forth  his  song, 
so  full  of  springtime  melody. 

Let  me  quote  a  few  of  the  messages  that  have 
come  to  you  on  this  point.    Says  one : 

"  I  think  I  never  go  about  the  stores  of  Bos- 


aMMIMlii 


A  YOUNG  WOMAN  8  WUONG8. 


48 


ton  without  being  distressed  at  seeing  girls  of 
moderate  circumstances  (judging  by  appear- 
ances) hanging  about  counters  where  a.'-e  dis- 
played the  elegant  laces,  satins  and  velvets,  for 
the  reason  that  not  more  than  one  girl  out  of  a 
hundred  can  afford  to  wear  such  costumes.  I 
think  the  same  thing  is  shown  in  that  we  con- 
stantly see  behind  counters  and  in  the  street, 
young  women  wearing  velveteen  and  tawdry 
jewelry,  where  the  same  money  would  buy  soft 
cloths  which  would  be  more  ladylike  and 
appropriate."     ?/      -     ; 

"  First  among  the  dangers,"  writes  another, 
"  I  should  put  inordinate  love  of  dress.  I  per- 
sonally know  some  who  curtail  their  charities 
and  more  who  go  without  suitable  food  that 
they  may  be  as  well  dressed  as  their  neighbors, 
and  I  very  much  fear  that  in  many  cases  temp- 
tation assumes  a  darker  guise." 

Another  faithful  Sabbath  school  teacher 
writes: 


r«R 


44 


A  YOUNG   WOMAN  S   WRONGS. 


**  In  my  own  class  in  Sunday  school  one  of 
my  great  troubles  springs  summer,  autumn  and 
winter,  has  been  to  make  the  girls  forget  their 
new  clothes.  I  have  always  been  thankful  when 
the  season  of  new  clothes  was  over,  for  lessons 
were  at  a  discount  until  the  new  clothes  had 
been  inspected.  So  many,  too,  buy  poor,  cheap 
stuff  that  won't  last,  and  make  it  up  in  some 
flashy  kind  of  a  way,  simply  that  they  may  look 
stylish.    Style  is  enough  to  spoil  any  girl." 

Here  are  some  stirring  words  : 

"  One  great  danger  is  an  overpowering  desire 
to  keep  up  appearances,  prompting  to  wrong 
doing. 

"In  one  of  the  largest  dry  goods  stores  in 
Boston  is  a  young  lady  clerk  who  receives  but 
five  dollars  per  week.  She  is  pretty  and  enjoys 
society.  What  then?  Every  cent  of  the  five 
dollars  goes  to  pay  for  room  and  food ;  cloth- 
ing is  supplied  by  a  good  father  living  in 
the  country  who  would  be   glad  to  have  his 


A  YOUNG   WOMAN  8  WKONGS. 


45 


daughter  at  home,  but  Hhe  likes  the  stir  of  Bos- 
ton. She  is  led  by  her  love  of  display  to  flatter 
her  friends  —  ladies  and  gentlemen  —  that  tliey 
may  invite  her  to  entertainments  and  give  her 
pretty  things  to  wear.  Her  acquaintances  out- 
side of  Boston  are  led  to  believe  that  she  has  a 
very  lucrative  position.  The  result  of  her  de- 
sire to  appear  better  off  than  she  is,  is  a  lower- 
ing of  her  standard  of  moral  l-ight  leading  to 
flattery  and  deception." 

I  have  time  for  but  one  more  message  : 
"  In  my  opinion  the  great,  even  almost  absorb- 
ing love  of  dress  and  display  which  young 
women  cherish,  and  the  time  given  for  the  minis- 
tering to  their  peraonal  vanity,  leads  very  many 
into  recklessness  and  heartlessness,  and  to  an 
utter  distaste  for  the  things  which  would  profit 
their  spiritual,  intellectual  and  moral  nature. 
This  love  for  showy  raiment  and  straining  for 
its  effect  leads  very  many  into  some  pitfall  of 
immorality."  .. 


-^nW;tWWJMM|^IIV«tMIMII 


s^msssemm 


*S*WT^'- 


46 


A    VOUNO   WOMAN  8   WUOMOS. 


•   ) 


.1^. 


I  beli^'ve  that  there  is  a  world  of  truth  in  this 
last  sentence.  I  have  talked  with  some  who 
know  the  seamy  side  of  a  great  city's  street  life 
and  they  all  assure  me  that  love  of  dress  has 
thousands  of  victims  in  the  brothels,  or  among 
the  street  walkera  of  every  large  city.  "  What 
brought  you  here?"  we  ask  of  the  degraded, 
fallen  man  ;  and  in  nine  cases  out  of  ten  the  re- 
ply would  be  "  Rum  did  it."  "  What  brought 
you  here?"  Ask  this  of  his  companion,  the 
degraded,  fallen  woman,  and  •  ">st  jis  often  the 
answer  would  come  back :  "  .  did  it ;  love 

of  finery,  the  gewgaw,  the  ribbon,  the  flash  jew- 
elry, the  desire  to  keep  up  appearances  did  it. 
That  took  me  the  first  step  toward  dishonor, 
and  the  rest  came  easy." 

And  this  leads  us  na.urally  to  another  wrong 
which  I  fear  some  of  you  are  likely  to  inflict 
upon  yourselves  and  that  is  the  tendency  to 
narrowness  and  very  contracted  views  of  life 
and  duty.     You  naturally  live  more  within  four 


// 


vmrummmm 


A    YOUNG    woman's   WnONGS. 


47 


walls  than  your  brothers,  but  do  not  let  those 
four  walla  bound  all  your  horizon.  It  is  un- 
doubtedly of  the  utnioMt  importance  whether 
this  piece  of  ribbon  matches  your  complexion, 
but  there  are  matters  of  greater  importance. 

I  have  read  of  a  young  woman  that  spent 
two  hundred  days  in  learning  to  paint  a  carrot 
to  hang  upon  the  wall,  and,  if  that  carrot  was 
painted  well,  it  was   a   noble  work  compared 
with   that   which   engrosses   some   lives.     The 
story  of  the  dry-as-du     professor  who  spent  all 
his   life   in   studying   the   Greek  particle,  and 
when  he  died  regretted  that  he  had  chosen  such 
a  wide  field  of  study,  instead  of  confining  hia 
attention  to  the  dative  case  was  an  old  favorite 
in  college.     While  it  seems  to  be  generally  un- 
derstood that  a  man's  aim  in  life  is  to  subdue 
continents  and  build  cities  and  conquer  armies, 
a  woman's  chief  end,  as  some  look  upon  it,  is  to 
make  tatting.  >v  ' 

I  sometimes  see  a  lady  of  fashion  and  wealth 


1 


48 


A  YOUNG  WOMAN  8  WRONGS. 


I!  ■'■ 


E 1 1, 


fl 


who  seems  to  spend  all  her  time  over  the  poodle 
dog  that  rides  by  her  side  in  the  elegant  car- 
riage. 'It  is  dressed  and  washed  and  combed 
and  takes  its  airing  as  regularly  as  the  lady 
herself,  while  there  are  thousands  of  immortal 
children  perishing  for  lack  of  just  this  care ; 
and  I  sometimes  wonder  as  I  see  the  two,  the 
woman  and  the  poodle,  sitting  together  —  I  won- 
der which  hiw  the  widest  outlook  upon  life. 
Some  women  seem  to  think  that  a  large,  gen- 
erous outlook  upon  life  is  almost  unwomanly. 
They  hardly  know  who  the  presiuont  of  the 
United  States  is,  or  who  is  the  governor  of  their 
own  commonwealth,  and,  as  to  such  exciting 
events  as  have  been  taking  place  of  late  on  the 
other  side  of  the  water,  they  are  all  rubbish  to 
them.  An  interest  in  politics  is  considered 
mannish  and  unnatural,  while  to  read  Shakes- 
peare, or  study  political  economy,  or  to  be 
versed  in  science  is  thought  to  savor  of  the 
bluestocking.    All  knov/ledge  is  open  to  you. 


jtmsam 


A  YOUNG  woman's  WRONGS. 


49 


If  you  do  dwell  within  four  walls  most  of  your 
life,  the  best  books  and  the  highest,  broadest 
life  may  come  there,  and  dwell  forever. 

Remember  that  first  of  all  you  are  a  human 
being,  and  that  you  have  all  the  rights  of  a 
human  being;  that  you  are  a  woman  second- 
arily. Remember  that  you  will  live  as  long, 
that  you  have  as  precious  a  soul  to  save,  as  mo- 
mentous questions  to  face,  as  any  hero  or  heroine 

who  ever  lived. 

"Little  girls,"  says  Frances  Power  Cobbe  in 
her  most   admirable  book   on  the    Duties  of 
Women,  "little  girls  may  fitly  play  with  toys 
and  dress  dolls,  and  chatter  in  the  nursery  for 
hours  over  some  weighty  concern  of  the  baby 
house ;  but  it  is  a  pitiful  sight  to  see  grown 
women  making  all  life  a  child's  play.    Rise,  I 
pray  you,  to  the  true  dignity  of  a  human  being, 
to  whom  petty  feelings  and  small  vanities  and 
servile,   wheedling  tricks  must  1)8  repugnant 
and  abominable." 


50 


A  YOUNG  woman's  WUONGS. 


vi 


I 

M 

It. 


a. 


The  dialogue  over  a  China  teapot,  which 
Constance  Cary  Harrison  puts  into  the  mouths 
of  two  of  her  charactei-s,  points  most  wittily  the 
moral  I  would  teach.  "  Is  it  not  consummate  ?  " 
asks  the  husband.  "It  is  indeed.  O,  Alger- 
non I  do  let  us  try  to  live  up  to  it,"  responds 
the  wife.  Some  women  and  men  too,  for  that 
matter,  have  nothing  nobler  to  live  up  to  than 
a  China  teapot  with  a  crack  in  it.  It  is  one 
great  danger  of  the  modern  life  of  women, 
whether  they  are  rich  or  poor,  that  some  such 
small,  dwarfing  ambition  may  be  the  goal  of  life. 
This  age  without  muoh  cynicism  might  be 
called  the  age  of  bric-Jl-bran,  the  age  of  expen- 
sive tidies  and  costly  nothings  —  things  well 
enough  in  their  way,  but  not  large  enough  to 
fill  the  soul.  Oh  1  remember  that  there  is  some- 
thing better  to  live  up  to  than  cracked  china 
and  yellow  lace  and  the  last  waltz  or  polka,  or 
the  latest  crochet  stitch.  Nothing  but  God  can 
fill  the  soul.  '■  ^        r  u 


A  YOUNG   woman's   WRONGS. 


51 


Will  it  not  help  you  in  realizing  this  high 
ideal  to  remember  what  your  sisters  have  been 
and  done  and  dared?  It  has  been  well  said 
that  in  every  walk  of  life  we  should  think  of 
those  who  have  most  honored  that  particular 
station,  and  catch  the  inspii-ation  of  their  lives. 
Thus  the  slave  may  proudly  exclaim,  "Frederick 
Douglas  was  a  slave,"  the  blacksmith  may  cry, 
"Elihu  Burrett  was  a  blacksmith,"  the  shoe- 
maker, as  he  plies  his  awl,  may  remember  that 
William  Carey  and  Admiral  Shovel  and  J.  G. 
Whittier  were  shoemakers. 

Every  woman  may  remember  that  as  heroic, 
steadfast  blood  as  ever  flowed,  has  flowed  in 
woman's  veins.  As  liigh  aims,  as  noble  pur- 
poses as  ever  actuated  human  souls  have  in- 
spired the  breasts  of  women.  Jf  you  are  of  a 
literary  turn  and  desire  to  have  a  name  in 
lettei-8,  do  not  be  disheartened,  but  remember 
Charlotte  Bronte  and  George  Eliot  were 
women.     If  you  would  be  an  artist,  strive  not 


ki 


62 


A  YOUNG  woman's  WRONGS. 


for  mediocrity,  but  for  the  highest  place,  re- 
membering Rosa  Bonheur  and  Harriet  Hosmer 
are  women.  If  you  love  to  study  the  works 
and  plans  of  God's  universe,  remember  that  the 
gates  of  science  are  no  more  closed  to  you  than 
to  your  brothers,  for  Caroline  Herschel  and 
Maria  Mitchell  were  women. 

Does  your  heart  burn  with  philanthropic  zeal 
to  do  great  things  for  your  day  and  generation  ? 
The  way  is  fully  open.  You  have  not  to  blaze 
an  unknown  path,  for  Florence  Nightingale 
and  Dorothea  Dix  and  Sister  Dora  were  women. 

Do  you  feel  within  you  the  strivings  of  the 
spirit  to  do  and  dare  great  things  for  God? 
Just  so  has  he  striven  with  others  who  nobly 
yielded  themselves  and  chose  nothing  less  t^an 
God.  Perpetua  and  Felicitas  were  women, 
and  yet  they,  in  the  public  arena,  flinched  not, 
nor  denied  their  Lord  by  word  or  sign,  when 
placed  in  the  swinging  net,  to  be  gored  to 
pieces  by  wild  bulb. 


A  VOUNG  woman's  WRONGS. 


53 


Or  is  it  in  the  quiet  home  circle  that  you  find 
your  miHsion  ?  Most  of  you,  I  trust,  will  find 
your  life-work  there,  for  it  is  a  life  no  less  really 
rich  and  full  than  the  life  of  the  artist,  philan- 
thropist and  heroine.  Is  it  your  mission  to  cheer 
the  aged  father,  to  comfort  the  weary  mother, 
to  share  a  husband's  cares  or  steady  a  baby's 
first,  timid  step  ?  I  hope  it  may  be  for  most  of 
you. 

Then  i-emember  that  ten  thousand  times  ten 
thousand  women  who  have  been  before  you, 
have  set  the  pattern  of  noble,  modest  woman- 
hood, full,  symmetrical  and  well-rounded  as 
any  man's  could  be. 

Let  me  recall  to  your  mind  the  familiar 
words  of  the  noble  wife  of  a  noble  president. 
Thus  wrote  Mrs.  Garfield,  ten  years  before  her 
husband  thought  of  being  president : 


•< 


"  I  am  glad  to  tell  that  out  of  the  toti  and  disappoint- 
ment of  the  summer  Just  ended,  I  have  risen  up  to  a 
victory. 


I  ^ 


ill       ! 


64 


A  YOUNG  woman's   WRONGS. 


"  I  read  something  like  tliis  tlie  otlier  day :  '  There  is  no 
healthy  thought  without  labor,  and  thought  maices  labor 
happy.'  Perliaps  tliis  is  tiie  way  I  have  been  able  to 
climb  up  higher.  It  came  to  me  one  morning  when  I  was 
malving  l)read.  I  said  to  myself :  '  Here  I  am  compelled 
to  malte  our  bread  this  summer.  Why  not  consider  it  a 
pi  asant  occupation,  and  malte  it  so  by  trying  to  see  what 
perfect  bread  I  can  make? '  It  seemed  like  an  inspiration, 
and  the  whole  of  life  grew  brighter.  The  very  sunshine 
seemed  to  be  flowing  down  through  my  spirits  Into  the 
white  loaves,  aud  now  I  believe  ray  table  is  furnished  with 
better  bread  than  ever  before.  And  this  old  truth,  old  as 
creation,  seems  just  now  to  have  become  fully  mine  — 
that  I  need  not  be  the  slave  of  toil,  but  its  regal  master, 
making  whatever  I  do  yield  me  its  best  fruits." 

There  spoke  out  the  true,  largewsouled  woman. 
Just  as  noble,  just  as  honorable  as  the  good 
breadmaker,  as  when  she  became  the  good 
president's  wife.  •       ' 

I  must  dwell  very  briefly  on  my  last  point  — 
the  deadliest  wrong  you  can  inflict  upon  your- 
selves is  to  allow  your  souls  to  be  corroded  with 
the  spirit  of  worldliness. 

There  is  nothing  so  foreign  to  a  true  womau's 


// 


A   YOUNG    woman's  WRONGS. 


65 


nature  as  worldliness,  godlessness.  In  a  man 
it  is  unnatural,  hardening  and  debasing;  in  a 
woman  it  is  atrocious  and  horrible.  As  much 
as  her  finer  nature  raises  her  nearer  the  angels, 
so  the  deadening  and  blunting  of  this  nature 
brings  her  nearer  the  devils  than  a  man  often 
falls. 

"I  feel  very  keenly,"  writes  one,  "that 
even  among  some  of  our  Christian  girls  there 
seems  to  be  such  an  utterly  indifferent  attitude 
to  a  thoroughly  consecrated  life.  They  like  to 
keep  just  as  near  the  border  as  they  can,  so  that 
their  associates  will  not  suspect  they  are  trying 
to  lead  a  Christian  life." 

"Indecision  in  religious  matters,  hesitancy, 
want  of  singleness  of  aim,  a  desire  to  serve  God 
and  Mammon,  a  desire  to  make  reservation," 
says  another,  "is  one  evil  that  girls,  even 
Christian  girls,  are  prone  to." 

P,  young  women !  would  that  some  word  of 
mine  might  show  you  how  a  whole-hearted  con- 


* 


■•'J 


«^ 


56 


A  YOUNG   woman's   WRONGS. 


secration  to  Christ  glorifies  and  ennobles  your 
treasure  of  womanhood.  It  does  for  the  jewel  of 
your  life  what  the  lapidary  does  for  the  rough, 
unsightly  stone  from  the  diamond  mine ;  it  makes 
it  glow  with  a  heavenly  light.  There  is  nothing 
so  distorted,  and  perverted,  and  deformed,  as  a 
godless  womanhood ;  there  is  nothing  so  beauti- 
ful and  precious  as  a  godly  womanhood. 

If  you  care  not  for  the  redemption  of  your 
own  soul,  remember  the  other  lives  which  your 
loss  may  involve.  We  mourn  a  disaster  to  a 
great  ocean  steamer,  because  so  many  millions 
of  treasure  were  wasted,  and  because  a  thou- 
sand lives  were  imperiled.  Let  every  godless 
woman  remember,  if  she  cares  not  for  her  o\/n 
distinction,  that  she  imperils  with  herself  a 
thousand  other  lives.  If  the  deadly  waters  of 
woridliness  and  godlessness  leak  in,  the  fires  of 
love,  of  home  affection,  of  wifely  and  motherly 
devotion,  will  slowly  but  surely  be  extinguished ; 
the  precious  cargo  of  peace  and  good  will  and 


// 


A  YOUNG  woman's  WRONGS. 


57 


modest,  unselfish  care  for  others,  with  which 
every  true  womanly  life  is  freighted,  and  with- 
out which  the  world  would  be  far  poorer,  will 
be  lost,  and  a  thousand  lives,  of  those  yet  un- 
born, down  to  the  third  and  fourth  generation, 
will  be  imperiled. 


^ 


CHAPTER  III. 

ANXIOUS    AND   AIMLB88. 

Superfluous  Womfn  —  I'rince  Charming'*  Advent  —  7Tk« 
Fancy-work  Girl—  The  Tendency  to  "  Drift"  — A  Moral 
Uarkhone — B my nesa  which  is  not  Buslnes*  —  Accom- 
pliahmrnla  and  AcrompUahments — Aimlentnei*  is  Coward- 
ice —  The  Mouse  as  a  test  of  Character  —  Weak  Nerves 
no  hoon  to  the  Human  Race  —  Courage  not  alone  a  Manly 
Virtue— Pure  Men  and  Courageous  Women  —  Semi' 
JnvaKfttsm  —  Romantic  Sickness— The  Fuel  that  feeds 
the  Fires  of  a  Wasted  Life  —  Christian  Womanhood. 

6'  rriHE  anxious  and  aimless."  Such,  I 
-^  believe,  were  the  epithets  applied  by 
one  of  the  former  governors  of  Massachusetts 
to  the  seventy  thousand  so-called  superfluous 
women  of  Massachusetts,  whom  he  advised  to 
find  a  mission  and  a  use  for  life  by  emigrating 

M 


--i_ 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


ioent  —  The 
—  A  Mitral 
M  —  Accotn- 
*  is  Coward' 
yeak  Nerves 
me  a  Manly 
wn  —  Semi- 
il  that  feeds 
anhood. 

Such,  I 
pplied  by 
mchusetta 
iperfliious 
kdvised  to 
imigrating 


to  the  West.  1  believe  that  these  words  contain 
a  libel  on  the  vast  majority  of  the  pex.  I 
do  not  think  there  are  any  more  superfluous 
women  than  men.  Most  of  yuu,  1  am  veiy 
sure,  are  not  anxious  or  aimless,  but,  becatise 
these  words  point  out  a  frequent  and  prolific 
source  of  danger,  and  because  I  want  you  all  to 
prove  them  more  and  more  libellous  and  untrue, 
I  wish  to  dwell  upon  them  in  this  chapter. 
Your  brother  meets  his  temptations  in  the 
street  and  in  the  market,  they  are  the  tempta- 
tions of  active  life ;  yours  come  from  the  very 
quietness  and  lack  of  stir  in  your  lives,  lives 
which  are  apt  to  degenerate  into  weak  aimless- 
ness,  a  passive  drifting  with  the  current,  which 
is  supposed  to  bear  every  woman  on  to  the 
harbor  of  matrimony,  but  which,  if  they  allow 
themselves  simply  to  drift,  often  leaves  them, 
whether  married  or  unmarried,  stranded  upon 
the  sand-bar  of  a  useless,  fruitless  life.  "  Your 
brother  and  his  college  mates  tell  you  that  their 


1'' 


tfO 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


Mi 

jl  -  !  f 


work  has  hardly  begun  with  the  receipt  of 
diploma  and  degree,"  sayH  Marion  Harland. 
"Commencement  day  with  thiira  signifies  the 
tii-8t  Htep  in  the  real  career  —  the  unclosing  and 
flinging  wide  the  gate  revealing  the  highway  of 

life." 

They  have  their  life    mapped  out  for  thera- 
fjelves  from  the  beginning,  in  some  rough  way 
ttt  least.     It  is  business,  or  the  law,  or  medicine, 
or  divinity  ;  there  is  a  goal  somewhere.    There 
is  an  end  for  them  to  strive  for.    Alas  !  it  is  too 
often  not  realized.    They  faint  in  the  day  of 
adversity,  or  t\irn  from  the  noble  aim  in  view 
t^  oJiase  aii  cynis-fatui.t  or  to  bury  themselves  in 
the  dirt  of  a  gold  mine,  but  it  is  very  much  even 
U  8ti.r^,  as  every  high-spirited  boy  does,  with  a 
noble  aim  beckoning  him  on.     But  girls  are  at 
a    disadvantage    from   the    beginning    in   this 
respect.    There  is  a  hazy  impression  that  some- 
time Prince  Charming  wiU  come  along  and  carry 
them  off. 


m^ 


ANXIOUB   AND   AIMLESS. 


61 


iceipt  of 
HAilHnd. 
litiea  the 
ming  and 
^hwiiy  of 

for  thera- 
ugh  way 
medicine, 
J.    There 
!  it  is  too 
le  day  of 
1  in  view 
iiselves  in 
luch  even 
es,  with  a 
iris  are  at 
r    in  this 
;hat  some- 
and  carry 


But  supposing  he  does  not  come,  what  then  ? 
"  It  is  pitiable  and  instructive  to  busy  people," 
continues  the  author  of  Eve's  Daughtera,  "  to  see 
the  varieties  of  behavior  in  women  who  recog- 
nize th^j  reality  of  the  situation  and  seek  to 
overcome  its  irksomeness.  The  majority  and 
the  most  respectable  of  them  begin  to  dabble 
industriously  in  something,  it  matters  little 
what  it  is,  so  long  as  time  and  thought  are 
engaged.  A  catalogue  of  the  hundreds  of 
species  of  what  is  known  as  'fancy  work,'  to 
which  this  century  alone  has  given  birth,  would 
show  better  than  fifty  formal  treatises  the 
prevalence  of  this  dabbling,  and  the  ingenuity 
with  which  the  desire  has  been  fed. 

"  Crocheting,  tatting,  wax  work,  paper  flowers, 
monochromatics,  Kensington  and  outline  em- 
broidery—  time  and  memory  would  fail  me, 
and  patience  would  desert  you  were  I  to  prolong 
the  inventory.  i   J'    >  V 

"Such,  and  a  thousand  other  inventions  of 


I 


Ill 


W  it  ^g 


62 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


play  which  is  work  and  work  which  is  play,  are 
put  forward  in  a  fast  succession  of  cheats  to 
answer  our  question,  '  What  then  ? ' " 

There  is  a  certain  teniporariness  ir»  the  pursuits 
of  women  that  is  greatly  to  their  d^  -advantage 
as  compared  with  a     an's  work.     Your  brother 
takes  up  his  calling,  meaning  to  make  a  life  busi- 
ness of  it.     If  he  intends  to  be  a  carpenter,  he 
does  not  learn  how  to  drive  the  plane  and  fit 
the  mortise  as  a  temporary  expedient,  ->nly  to 
fill  up  the  time  until  he  shall  be  sent  to  Con- 
gress or  dispatched  on  a  foreign  mission.     If  he 
studies  medicine  it  is  that  he  may  spend  his  life 
in  practicing  medicine,  not  because  he  expects  to 
be  called  to  the  bar  one  of  these  days.     A  young 
woman,  on  the  other  hand,  too  often  takes  up 
some  employment  as  an  expedient  to  kill  time 
until  Prince  Charming  appears,  riding  over  the 
phvins  to  claim  his  own.     Next  to  having  no 
aim  is  it  to  have  this  temporary  expedient  and 
time-killer  for  an  object  in  life. 


a 


ANXIOUS   AND   AIMLESS. 


68 


s  play,  are 
cheats  to 

tie  pursuits 
•advantage 
mr  brother 
a  life  busi- 
rpenter,  he 
ine  and  lit 
mt,  'inly  to 
ant  to  Con- 
iion.     If  he 
Bnd  hia  life 
;  expects  to 
A  young 
n  takes  up 
;o  kill  time 
ng  over  the 
having  no 
pedient  and 


Prince  Charming  may  come,  very  likely  he 
will ;  but  it  will  be  all  the  better  for  him  and  for 
her  if  he  finds  the  object  of  his  search  honestly 
and  patiently  doiiig  some  one  thing  for  which 
she  has  fitted  herself,  rather  than  nervously 
starting  up  at  every  ring  of  the  doorbell,  think- 
ing that  it  marks  the  advent  of  the  prince. 

"Among  the  great  dangers  which  threaten 
young  women,"  writes  one  whose  name  is  as 
familiar  to  the  world  as  any  name  in  America, 
"  it  seems  to  me,  if  an  outlook  on  life  without  a 
purpose,  a  tendency  to  drift,  to  magnify  the 
present  moment,  to  give  undue  attention  to 
externals  and  trifles,  to  seek  happiness  rather 
than  blessedness."      ;  ,  .     , 

"  A  girl  should  have  a  motive,  an  aim  in  life," 
writes  one  of  your  teachers,  whom  many  of  you 
love  and  revere.  "  Aiming  at  nothing  she  too 
often  hiti  it."       •   .      •        '  **  :\    -,;--., 

"  A  plan  in  life  is  what  everj*^  young  woman 
needs,"  writes  a  noted  temperance  lecturer ;  "  a 


m 


ANXIOUtJ  AND  AIMLESS. 


plan    in    life    and    power    to  carry  out    that 

plan."    • 

Of  course  this  can  only  come  from  a  true 
relation  to  and  reliance  on  God.  It  is  a  good 
sign  when  the  literary  world  will  not  accept 
Howeirs  heroines  as  ideak  of  true  womanhood, 
and  when  it  cries  out  for  something  stronger. 
"They  are  beautiful,  affectionate  and  almost 
morbidly  conscientious,"  says  Lippincott's  Mag- 
azine for  instance,  in  a  recent  criticism,  in  speak- 
ing of  this  novelist's  feminine  characters,  "  but 
they  are  idle,  inconsequent,  and  more  or  less 
jealous,  incapable  of  phUanthropy,  hard  thinking 
and  decided  action." 

I  have  scores  of  letters  on  this  point,  or  re- 
lated matters  which  I  have  not  time  to  give 
you.  One  o"  your  friends  tells  me  she  thinks 
there  is  a  ver>  great  lack  of  decision  of  charac- 
ter  in  our  girls  of  the  present  day,  or  that 
perhaps  it  would  be  better  to  say  stability  of 
character. 


■A 


a 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


u 


out    that 

)m  a  true 
t  is  a  good 
not  accept 
ainauhood, 
;  stronger, 
ud  almost 
jott's  Mag- 
1,  in  speak- 
jters,  "  but 
ore  or  less 
rd  thinking 

loint,  or  re- 
me  to  give 
she  thinks 
I  of  charac- 
ay,  or  that 
stability  of 


"  Girls  lack  moral  backbone,"  writes  the  suc- 
cessful principal  of  a  young  ladies  seminary. 
"  One  of  my  own  girls  says  to  me  on  this  point, 
♦Girls  are  all  too  much  afraid  of  what  others 
will  say.'  " 

But  I  must  hurry  on  to  tell  you  that  Aim- 
lessness  is,  in  my  opinion,  only  one  of  a  large 
family  of  sisters  who  usually  travel  iu  company. 
One  of  these  sisters  is  Idleness.  I  know  that 
just  her:  many  of  you  will  protest  and  say : 
♦'  Whatever  my  faults,  you  can't  lay  this  to  my 
door.  Why,  I'm  busy  from  morning  to  night. 
I  am  driven  from  the  time  school  begins  until 
vacation  comes  again,  and  then  it  isn't  much 
better.  I'm  so  busy  that  I  can  hardly  find  time 
to  read  my  Bible  or  say  my  prayers." 

Ah!  that  is  just  it.  There  is  a  busyness 
which  is  ot  business.  There  is  an  activity 
which  is  the  veriest  idleness,  and  that  is  the 
kind  of  idleness  I  most  fear  for  you. 

What  are  you  busy  about?  that  is  the  ques- 


1  a 

n 


MiiMiiwiMIMiiM 


m 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


i 


tion.  If  you  are  too  busy  to  read  your  Bible 
and  good  books,  to  think  and  pray,  it  is  alto- 
gether probable  that,  with  all  your  fancied 
hurry,  you  have  a  pair  of  those  hands  for  which 
the  old  couplet  tells  us  that  "Satan  finds  some 
mischief  still  to  do." 

"  If  our  girls  could  only  be  induced  to  spend 
more  time  in  prayer  and  meditation,"  writes 
one.    "  It  is  the  same  cry  with  the  children  as 
the  older  ones -'no  time.'    And  in  the  busy 
whirl  of  everyday  life  it  seems  to  me  there  is 
scarce  any  leisure  for   thinking.      They  will 
listen,  receive  what  is  said,  and  hurry  on,  but 
to  think  out  anything  for  themselves,  or  really 
to  take  any  part  of  their  day  for  meditation,  is 
a  rare  thing  even  among  older  ones,  and  so 
when  asked  a  reason  for  an  expressed  belief  or 
opinion,  often  the  only  one  that  comes  is, '  peo- 
ple say  so,'  or  something  just  as  weak." 

A  piece  of  advice  which  many  of  you  need 
is:  If  you  would  not  be  idle,  do  not  begin  to 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


lur  Bible 
t  is  alto- 
fancied 
[or  which 
lids  some 

to  spend 
I,"  writes 
tiildren  as 
the  busy 
e  there  is 
rhey  will 
y  on,  but 
,  or  really 
iitation,  is 
Bs,  and  so 
I  belief  or 

8  is, '  peo- 

>» 

you  need 
t  begin  to 


do  so  many  things.  The  so  called  accomplish- 
ments of  the  sex  ai^  often  the  direct  promoters 
of  idleness. 

It  is  not  at  all  necessary  that  you  should 
spend  just  so  many  hours  a  day  in  strumming 
the  piano  or  wielding  the  paint  brush,  if  you 
have  no  particular  taste  or  talent  in  that  direc- 
tion ;  but  it  is  necessary  that  you  should  re- 
member that  there  is  a  womanhood  within  you 
to  cultivate,  which  is  not  at  all  dependent  upon 
Chickering  or  Steinway. 

A  true,  noble  woman  may  be  too  busy  to 
cultivate  the  artist  within  her.  She  may  not 
know  the  difference  between  an  Old  Master 
-i>d  a  tea-store  chromo,  but  such  a  woman  is 
never  too  busy  to  think  and  pray,  and  read  that 
which  will  build  up  her  soul. 

Take  off  the  weights  from  the  old  eight-day 
clock  that  stands  in  the  corner,  and  the  hands 
will  fly  around  at  a  great  rate,  exceedingly 
busy,  we  say,  but  the  busier  they  are  the  less 


^j^» 


iUittMWialiMiiiWHiiiiB 


Nita 


•tr 


98  ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 

value  they  are,  for  their  mission  is  not  to  fly 
around  the  dial,  but  to  mark  time.  I  am  not 
decrying  these  accomplishments.  They  are  all 
well  in  their  way ;  «'hey  all  may  be  made  aids 
to  a  noble  life,  if  there  is  a  large  worthy  aim 
and  motive  pervading  all ;  but  if  they  engross 
your  minds  to  the  exclusion  of  better  things, 
they  are  hinderances  and  not  helps,  and  the 
sooner  you  stop  and  think  why  you  are  here, 
and  whither  you  are  going,  and  what  you  are 
doirg,  the  sooner  you  may  escape  the  charge  of 
idleness.  Paradoxical  as  it  may  seem,  it  is 
sometimes  true,  the  less  busy  you  are  the  less 
idle  you  are.  To  escape  the  charge  of  idleness, 
you  must  not  only  be  doing  something  —  you  . 
must  be  doing  something  worthy  of  a  human 
being. 

Another  sister  of  Aimlessness  is  Cowardice. 
Courage  is  not  thought  to  be  a  womanly  virtue 
—  more's  the  pity  —  and  I  suppoi^e  that  is  the 
reason  that  cowardice,  however  reprehensible  in 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


)t  to  fly 
am  not 
)r  are  all 
ade  aids 
rthy  aim 
'  engross 
r  things, 
and  the 
ire  here, 
you  are 
iharge  of 
m,  it  is 
the  less 
idleness, 
ig  — you 
i  human 

>wRrdice. 
ly  virtue 
at  is  the 
;nsible  in 


a  man,  is  considered  rather  amiable  in  a  woman. 
To  scream  at  the  sight  of  a  harmless  mouse, 
and  go  into  spasms  over  a  spider,  and  have  con- 
vulsions  because  of  a  striped    snake  on  the 
garden  walk,  seem  to  be  considered  in  the  light 
of  accomplishments  rather  than  otherwise,  and 
the  confiding  terror  that  catehes  hold  of  the 
masculine  arm  at  sight  of  a  harmless  cow  in 
the  pasture  is  supposed  to  show  unsophisticated 
innocence.    I  do  not  think,  however,  that  weak 
nerves  should  be  cultivated  as  a  boon  to  the 
human  race,  or  that  hysterics  should  be  looked 
upon  with  any  more  favor  than  small-pox  or 
mumps.    They  both  are  inevitable  sometimes, 
but  both  disfigure  and  make  unlovely  the  true 
woman. 

Not  that  I  think  that  women  are  naturally 
more  cowardly  than  men.  All  history  proves 
the  contrary.  There  are  depths  of  courage  in 
many  a  woman's  breast,  which  only  need  the 
opportunity  of  a  great  occasion  to  reveal  them- 


HJMiriiiMjfi'irfiiiTmTrtttiiWito^ 


70 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


'ii. 


selves.  Witness  the  martyrs  who  have  died  for 
their  faith,  witness  the  heroic  sacrifices  of  women 
in  sick  rooms  and  hospitals,  witness  the  uncom- 
plaining heroism  of  many  an  invalid  wearing 
her  life  away  on  a  sick  bed,  with  a  smile  on  the 
face  which  sought  to  conceal  from  watchful 
friends  the  long  anguish. 

"  The  noble  behavior  of  the  soldiers  on  the 
sinking  Birkenhead,"  says  Miss  Cobb,  "  was 
not  greater  than  was  that  exhibited  by  the 
twenty  poor  nuns  who,  in  the  Fninch  Revolu- 
tion, stood  together  on  the  scaffold  chanting 
the  Te  Deum,  till,  one  by  one,  the  sweet  voices 
dropped  in  silence  beneath  the  axe  of  the 
guillotine ;  still  the  survivors  sung  on,  with 
unfaltering  lips,  till  the  abbess,  left  alone, 
gave  forth  the  last  Amen,  and  the  glorious 
hymn  was  over.  Or  to  take  another  phase  of 
courage.  What  man  or  woman  is  there  who 
would  not  have  found  it  easier  to  ride  with  the 
Six  Hundred,  in  broad  daylight,  into  the  Valley 


(/ 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


died  for 
women 
uncom- 
wearing 
3  on  the 
watchful 

on  the 
>,  "  was 

by  the 
Revolu- 
ihanting 
it  voices 

of  the 
m,  with 
;  alone, 
glorious 
}hase  of 
ere  who 
vith  the 
3  Valley 


of  Death  at  Balaklava,  than  to  have  spent  a 
night  in  the  dark  in  that  awful  tSte-d-tSte  of 
which  we  have  read  of  Sister  Dora  and  the  man 
dying  of  small-pox  ?  "  And  yet,  as  Miss  Cobb 
intimates,  many  of  these  same  women  might 
have  shown  the  white  feather  on  a  very  small 
provocation.  The  mouse  on  the  chamber  floor, 
the  cow  in  country  lane,  might  have  been  too 
much  for  their  nerves,  and  have  made  those 
blanch  whom  the  guillotine  could  not  scare. 

So  I  feel  like  calling  upon  you  all  to  under- 
stand and  use  the  treasures  of  courage  which 
are  really  yours.  Just  as  we  would  say  to  a 
miserly  millionaire,  "  Your  money  is  youi-s  only 
to  use,  not  to  liide  in  a  napkin ;  it  is  a  shame 
for  you  to  place  your  bonds  in  an  iron  box, 
while  you  bury  the  box.  in  the  ground,  when 
thousands  are  starving  and  nations  are  perish- 
ing for  lack  of  the  Gospel."  So  we  say  to  you, 
young  women,  with  your  fund  of  real  courage : 

"The   world  needs  it.    It  is  perishing  for 


.MidMiMttM 


72 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


lack  of  brave  souIh  who  dare  to  go  ahead  and 
do  great  thingH  for  God.  For  humanity's  sake, 
do  not  think  that  the  soft,  shrinking  nature, 
afraid  of  its  own  shadow,  afmid  to  speak  a 
brave  word  or  to  do  an  unconventional  deed,  is 
peculiarly  womanly  and  admirable. 

The  world  cannot  be  regenerated  without  the 
hpip  of  brave  women  as  well  as  of  brave  men. 
It  has  been  too  long  thought  that  courage  was 
t  prerogative  of  a  man,  virtue  or  purity  of  a 
woman.  We  shall  never  reach  the  true  plain 
from  which  we  can,  altogether,  men  and 
women,  with  united  effort,  lift  up  humanity, 
until  we  realize  this  truth,  that  a  man  must  be 
pure  as  well  as  brave,  and  that  a  woman  must 
he  brave  as  well  as  pure. 

As  one  of  your  friends  finely  pute  it:  "One 
of  the  principles  which  I  am  fond  of  enuncia- 
ting is   that  men   should   be   pure  as  well  as 
women,  and  that  women  should  be  courageous 
■0      as  well  as  men.'' 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


78 


♦'  I  believe  that  there  ahoJild  be  equrtlity  of 
the  sexes  in  one  particular  at  least,  and  that  is 
in  virtue,  and  that  all  women  should  insist  on 
this  80  far  as  their  influence  reaches." 

How  shall  you  attain  this  moral  courage 
without  having  a  great  aim  in  view?  The 
Bohaers  who  have  a  fort  to  storm  or  an  order 
to  carry  out,  are  the  soldiers  who  do  not  flinch. 

If  they  know  not  and  care  not  for  what  they 
are  fighting,  they  lack  the  very  foundation  of 
courage.  You  cannot  make  much  of  a  hero  out 
of  a  hired  Hessian.  Cowardice  is  almost  always 
the  sister  of  Aimlessness. 

"  Womanly,  unaffected,  dignified  frankness," 
writes  another  friend  (and  this  is  only  another 
name  for  courage),  "will  allow  a  girl  to  express 
her  convictions  without  losing  the  respect  of 
her  acquaintance.  I  know,  from  having  tried 
it  a  good  many  times,"  she  continues,  "  that  a 
young  lady  loses  no  friendships  worth  retain- 
ing by  saying :   '  I  made  a  resolve  years  ago 


timmtmMltiiiiimmmili 


jtfaMijMmr  1  - 1  r  imTMri 


74 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


I 


Unit  I  could  never  have  anything-  to  do  with 
men  who  were  not  true  gentlemen  at  heart. 
Furthermore,  I  know  that  in  our  hands  lies 
the  power  of  working  genuine  reforms  along 
this  verv  line." 

Says  anotlier :  "  I  tremble  for  two  young 
girls  whom  I  know,  as  1  hear  their  names 
coupled  with  two  young  men,  and  see  to 
all  appearances  th6  strong  attachment  existing 
between  them,  and  the  talk  of  marriage  at  no 
distant  day.  Both  of  the  young  men  are  ir- 
religious and  intemperate.  If  every  young 
woman  would  take  a  decided  stand  on  the  side 
of  temperance,  and  refuse  the  attentions  of  a 
young  man  that  drank,  it  would  do  more  good 
than  all  the  temperance  lectures  in  the  world." 
But  that  requires  courage,  and  courage  that  is 
coupled  with  the  highest  aim  to  do  right,  cost 
what  it  may,  for  Christ's  sake.  Remember,  my 
young  friends,  that  it  is  your  right  and  duty 
to  be  courageous  as  well  as   virtuous ;   that 


// 


do  with 
at  heart, 
inds  lies 
118  along 

0  young 
ir   names 

1  see  to 
.  existing 
ige  at  no 
jn '  are  ir- 
7   young 

the  Hide 
ions  of  a 
lore  good 
le  world.'' 
re  that  is 
right,  cost 
smber,  my 
and  duty 
3US ;   that 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


76 


courage  is  born  of  a  high,  noble  aim,  and  that, 
ill  the  highest  sense,  you  cannot  bo  pure  with- 
out having  the  courage  of  virtue  as  well  as  ita 
spotloHsness. 

Another  sister  of  Ainilessness  is  Invalidism, 
or  semi-invalidism.  The  ill  health  of  our 
American  women  is  notorious.  What  is  the 
cause?  OverwKik?  Yes,  to  some  extent ;  but 
underwork  is  a  greater  cause.  Where  ambi- 
tion, the  straining  at  too  large  an  aim,  has  one 
victim,  aimlessness  and  idleness  has  two  vic- 
tims. In  many  a  New  England  farm  kitchen, 
in  many  a  nursc/N',  there  are  doubtless  women 
broken  down  pntniaturely  by  hard  labor.  But 
in  many  another  house,  humble  or  wealthy,  are 
women  c.^unJly  broken  down  by  the  wearing 
effort  to  do  r, ;  iii,;g  and  do  it  gent/eelly  ;  by  the 
worrj-  f  uivt;ing  uo  worthy  aim,  and  living  up 
to  it. 

'  Tea"^  ynt  ^rl  honesty  of  purpose  and 
practice,"  mu/s  Marion  Uaiiaud  on  this  point. 


n 


LT"-'i>riirT'i>MHn"  I 


'I 


V. 


i 


76 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


"and  to  call  things  by  their  right  names. 
Show  no  charity  to  the  faded  frippery  of  senti- 
ment that  prates  over  romantic  sickliness.  In- 
culcate a  fine  scorn  for  the  desire  to  exchange 
her  present  excellent  health  for  the  estate  of 
the  pale,  drooping  human-flower  damsel;  the 
taste  that  courts  the  fascination  of  lingering 
consumption ;  the  sensation  of  early  disease, 
induced  by  the  rupture  of  a  blood-vessel  over  a 
laced  handkerchief,  held  firmly  to  her  iily 
mouth  by  agonized  parent  or  distracted  lover." 

"  I  was  cheered,"  she  continues,  "  as  by  the 
finding  of  a  treasure,  the  other  day,  at  over- 
hearing a  youiig  girl  say  scornfully  to  a  school- 
fellow :  '  I  should  be  ashamed  to  bo  sickly  I 
No  1  I  won't  call  it  delicate.  It  is  very  indeli- 
cate, to  my  way  of  thinking.  I  say  the  word 
out  plainly  — sickly.  It  is  as  much  my  duty 
to  keep  well  as  to  keep  clean.  Of  course  acci- 
dents will  happen  in  spite  of  precautions,  but 
no  one  is  proud  of  having  fallen  in  the  mud." 


// 


s   names. 

of  senti- 
less.  In- 
exchange 
estate  of 
msel;  the 
lingering 
f  disease, 
sel  over  a 

her   iily 
id  lover." 
as  bj'  the 
S  at  over- 
o  a  Bchool- 
bo  sickly  I 
rery  indeli- 
■  the  word 
a  my  duty 
lourse  acci- 
,ution8,  but 
<i)»  mud." 


iMi 


"mr 


ANXIOUS  AMD  AIMLESS. 


7T 


If  in  the  line  of  duty  ill  health  overtakes 
you,  that  is  another  thing.  If  in  nursing  and 
care  and  loving  ministration  you  wear  your  life 
out,  I  am  not  talking  to  you. 

Such  ill  health  is  as  honorable  as  a  soldier's 
scar  or  empty  sleeve.  But  if  you  are  frittering 
away  life  and  health  at  balls  and  late  parties, 
and  by  aimlessness  and  lack  •^'  energy  which 
can  never  arouse  itself  to  stem  trouble  and  dis- 
ease, then  remember  that  slow  suicide  of  this 
sort  is  no  more  honorable  than  a  dose  of  strych- 
nine or  a  plunge  from  a  railing  of  the  bridge. 

I  have  all  honor  for  the  worn  mother  whose 
pale  cheek  and  wrinkled  brow  tell  of  loving 
vigils  and  constant  care  for  loved  ones,  but  I 
have  no  honor  or  respect  for  the  aimless,  lacka- 
daisical young  person  whose  pale  cheek  tells 
only  of  chalk  and  slate-pencils  and  chocolate 
creams  and  late  hours.  There  is  nothing 
interesting  or  pathetic  about  her. 

There  is  another  matter  which  I  must  not 


^mm 


78 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


11.  H, 


fail  to  dwell  upon  while  mentioning  the  sisters 
of  Aimlessness.  It  is  the  intellectual  food 
which  these  sisters  feed  upon.  It  is  the  fuel 
which  keeps  alive  the  bale-fires  of  a  wasted 
life.  It  is  the  solace  of  a  weak  mind,  the 
comfort  6f  aimless  hours. 

Let  me  write,  if  I  can,  a  strong  word  against 
the  weak,  trashy  literature  which,  more  than 
anything  else,  if  you  indulge  in  it,  will  con- 
demn you  forever  to  the  hopeless  ranks  of  the 
aimless  and  anxious.  You  are  not  so  muci. 
attracted  by  revolvei-s  and  bowie  knives  and 
infant  Indian  exterminators  as  your  brothers, 
perhaps,  but  there  is  a  kind  of  tmsh  which  is 
just  as  common  and  just  as  harmful,  and  which 
low  panderers  to  evil  taiitas  will  write  and 
print,  because  such  as  you  furnish  a  market 
for  it.  You  do  not  care  to  ride  over  the  Texas 
plain  with  Buckskin  Euck,  a  six-shooter  stuck 
in  every  crevice  of  his  saddle  and  belt,  as  the 
boys  like  to  do,  but  the  same  devil  paints  for 


// 


sisters 
1  food 
he  fuel 
wasted 
ad,  the 


iliiii I  iiiiiiiiiiiiinri 


mi 


^m 


ASXlOVa  AND  AIML188. 


79 


you  a  languishing  young  beauty  with  a  husband 
whom  she  ought  to  love,  honor  and  obey,  who 
devotes  her  life  to  some  scoundrel  who  has  a 
wife  of  his  own. 

She  ought  to  horsewhip  him  for  his  dastardly 
attempts  to  make  love  to  her,  but  she  compla- 
cently  listens  to  him  as  he  talks  twaddle  about 
fate  and  destiny  and  affinity  and  so  on. 

Better  never  learn  your  letters  than  to  read 
alwut  unholy  love  and  seduction  and  divorce, 
and  the  horrible  sins  that  are  gilded  and 
painted  white  in  these  miserable  novels.  Shun 
all  this  class  of  stuff  as  you  shun  leprosy. 
Better  have  the  leprous  scales  on  your  face, 
where  they  will  only  ruin  physical  beauty  and 
comeliness,  than  have  them  on  the  heart,  where 
they  will  ruin  the  purity  of  the  soul. 

Scarcely  a  week  goes  by  but  I  find  some  of 
this  trash  thrust  into  my  own  house  for  my 
children  to  pick  up  and  read.  Flaring  adver- 
tisements, advising  my  children  to  read  about 


.»_«  .«»»» ■  I  mf  111 '  ■JWfl[l>ii»W»r»iWWF^va.-t-i**t^-**»  - 


..^H 


mfm 


"Little  Lillie  Lee,"  or  the  "Child  Guard  at 
Gen.  Grant's  Tomb,"  or  "  The  Child  Wife,"  or 
*'  A  Desperate  Woman."  Hoirible  pictures  of 
murder  and  violence  decorate  them  all.  It  is  a 
shame  that  we  have  to  submit  to  an  invasion 
of  our  homes  by  such  literary  diet;  that  the 
law  does  not  at  least  abate  this  nuisance. 

If  once  a  week  regularly  some  city  scavenger 
should  open  my  front  door  and  throw  in  a  load 
of  garbage  from  the  gutter,  or  some  ill-disposed 
person  should  thrust  an  adder  into  the  letter- 
box, hoping  .that  my  children  would  get  stung, 
they  would  do  me  no  greater  wrong  than  these 
panderera  to  a  cheap,  vile  taste  that  delights  in 
murder,  reduction,  and  adultery  do  when  they 
thrust  into  my  house  their  "  Little  Lillie  Lee," 
their  "Child  Wives,"  and  their  "Desperate 
Women."  If  the  desperate  woman  would  come 
herself  she  could  be  turned  over  to  the  police. 
If  Little  Lillie  Lee  should  come  in  person,  I 
could  send  her  to  the  Little  Wanderers'  Home; 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


81 


but  coming  as  they  do,  we  need  to  exercise  con- 
stant vigilance,  fathers  and  mothers,  lest  they 
become,  before  we  know  it,  the  companions  of 
our  children.     Of  all  the  many  wise  words  that 
have  come  for  you  on  this  point,  I  can  read  but 
from  one  letter.    This  good  friend  of  yours  says : 
"  Our  public  library  has  altogether  too  many 
cheap  story  books  kept  for  the  use  of  children. 
I  often  hear    such    sentences  as  these    from 
young  women:   'I  know  nothing  of  history; 
hated  it  in  school,  and  forgot  it  as  soon  as  pos- 
sible, and  never  read  it  now.    Biographies  are 
dry  ;  I  don't  like  travels,  and  I  never  read 
a  word  of  Shakespeare  in  my  life ;  but  I  am 
a  great  reader;  I  always  have  a  book  in  my 
hand.'    I  heard  one  young  lady  make  all  these 
statements  not  long  ago,  and  so  I  asked  her 
what  she  liked  to  read  best.     'Ohl  stories,' 
was  the  reply.    Is  it  strange  they  have  a  wrong 
idea  of  life ;   that  their  talk  is   chiefly  about 
boys  and  having  a  good  time  ?  " 


82 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


I  should  tliink  it  very  strange  if  with  such 
an  intellectual  diet  they  ever  had  a  more 
sensible  tlought  in  their  head. 

In  these  days  it  is  no  great  credit  to  be 
seen  with  a  book  in  your  hand,  unless  that  book 
is  one  of  the  best.  I  sometimes  think,  as  I 
remember  the  floods  of  trash  that  issue  from 
the  press,  that  Cadmus  was  no  great  friend  of 
the  race,  after  all. 

And  now,  young  friends,  in  a  closing  word 
let  me  plead  with  you  very  earnestly  to  respect 
your  womanhood,  and  to  fill  your  life  full  of 
noble  aims  and  lofty  purposes.  Root  out  the 
weeds,  but  do  not  forget  to  fill  the  empty  garden 
of  your  heart  with  flowers  and  fruits. 

Throw  away  the  bad  book,  but  take  up  the 
good  book,  just  as  soon  as  you  lay  the  other 
down.  Do  not  simply  be  busy,  but  be  busy  for 
a  purpose,  with  a  prize  in  view,  with  the  long 
plan  of  a  useful  life  to  work  out.  Do  not 
simply  be  brave,  be  brave  that  the  world  may 


lAMk 


ANXIOUS  AND  AIMLESS. 


88 


be  better,  by  reason  of  your  cheery  courage. 
Do  not  simply  be  well  and  strong,  be  well  and 
strong  in  order  that  something  of  your  vigor 
and  strength  may  pulsate  through  another  life. 
Remember  there  is  no  such  tiling  as  a  super- 
fluous woman,  as  we  sometimes  hear  them 
facetiously  called,  unless  you  choose  to  make 
yourself  superfluous.  There  are  high  motives 
enough  to  go  around  among  you  all.  There  is 
a  noble  aim  for  every  one.  There  is  a  Chris- 
tian womanhood  for  the  most  lowly  and  shrink- 
ing; and  beyond  this,  if  you  comprehend  all 
that  the  words  imply,  there  is  no  higher  destiny 
for  a  seraph  or  an  archi\ngel. 


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IMAGE  EVALUATION 
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23  WEST  MAIN  STREET 

WEBSTER,  N.Y.  14580 

(716)  872-4503 


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Microfiche 

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Collection  de 
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rj^v^%i-i**a*»«^'-**-4*Wii^i,fej(jiilS^ 


ii!' 


CHAPTER  IV. 


PEIVOLlir    AND  FLIBTATION. 


OirlUh  Wild  0at8-6irU  mil  he  Girls -Keep  the  Heart 
clean -The  Silly  Dispensation-  The  Flirt -The  flip- 
pant young  Woman- The  Orc.ce  of  Maidenhood- The 
ideal  Oirl- Dignity  a  S<tfeguard  of  Virtue  -A  trans- 
verse Section  of  a  Girl's  Heart  -  A  Handbook  of  Flirta- 
tion- Exaggeration  -The"  too  utterly  utter  "  -  Slander 
-The  Gossip  Tippler -The  Gossip's  Muck-rake -Im- 
purity-l^e  Scarlet  LetUr  of  Immodesty  — A  Jewel 
thrown  into  the  Gutter. 


I T  is  assumed  by  some  that  there  is  a  certain 
period  of  folly  and  wickedness  that  must 
be  endured  in  the  life  of  every  young  peraon, 
just  as  the  baby  must  have  more  or  less  colic 
and  be  fretful  and  troublesome  while  cutting 
ita  teeth.    The  parent  and  teacher  and  moralist, 


.!.,/,. 


jW.gAi.J,4'!Wl,ji'Mailt)llUfeAA'M«W*''**^^^  '*'"*'*^" 


"ommm 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


85 


eep  the  Heart 
rt  —  The  flip- 
enhood —  The 
tte  —  A  trana- 
ook  of  Flirta- 
er"  — Slander 
ick-rake  —  Im- 
ay  —  A.  Jewel 


I  is  a  certain 
s  that  must 
lung  pereon, 
jr  less  colic 
hile  cutting 
and  moralist, 


seems  to  be  the  idea,  must  expect  and  plan  for 
this,  just  a^  the  mother  lays  in  a  stock  of  warm 
flannels  and  soothing  syrup.    ■ 

In  fact,  even  some  Christians,  from  their 
actions,  apparently  believe  that  the  Devil  must 
have  full  sway  with  their  children  for  a  little 
while,  in  order  that  he  may  be  driven  out,  by 
and  by,  by  the  Divine  Spirit. 

In  the  young  man  this  is  called  sowing  his 
wild  oats,  and  when  he  is  seen  puffing  cheap 
cigar-smoke  into  the  faces  of  people  coming  in 
or  going  out  of  church,  when  he  is  k.iown  to 
do  little  of  summer  evenings   but  support  a 
lamp  post  on  the  street  corner,  when  he  is  seen 
slinking  into  a  rum-shop  once  in  a  while,  and  is 
known  to  come  out  again  with  poisoned  breath, 
people  say,  "  O,  well !  he's  young  yet ; "  "  He'll 
come  out  all  right ; "   "  Boys  must  be  boys." 
When  a  girl  is  seen  to  be  rude  and  boisterous 
and  unmaidenly,  when  she  transforms  herself 
into  a  giggling  machine  and  apparently  cares 


86 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIETATION. 


for  nothing  but  the  glances  and  facetious  re- 
marks  of  the  fast  young  man  under  the  lamp 
post  or  in  the  church  vestibule,  just  as  many 
people  will  s' y  in  excusing  her:  "Ohl  she's 
young  yet;"  "She  will  come  out  all  right;" 
"Girls  will  be  girls." 

I  have  no  patience  with  this  shallow  philos- 
ophy. It  is  a  dreadful  mistake  that  we  make 
when  we  reason  in  this  way,  or  comfort  our- 
selves with  the  thought  that  such  waywardness 
and  frivolity  is  a  pimple  on  the  skin,  which  will 
be  sloughed  off  to-morrow.  It  is  rather  the 
deadly  pustule  that  shows  the  diseased  blood, 
and  he  makes  a  sad  bl  nder  that  treats  the 
pustule  as  he  would  the  pimple.  I  do  not  say 
that  these  symptoms  show  an  incurable  state, 
but  I  do  believe  that  such  signs  call  for  thought 
and  watchfulness  and  ceaseless  prayer.  It  is 
not  necessary  that  our  children  should  come  to 
God  out  of  the  yery  clutches  of  the  Devil.  To 
be  snatched  "as  a  brand  from  the  burning,"  is 


1 


ON. 

Bcetious  re- 

er  the  lamp 

ust  as  many 

"Oh I   she's 

all  right;" 

lallow  philos- 
hat  we  make 
comfort  our- 
waywardness 
in,  which  will 
is  rather  the 
iseased  blood, 
lat  treats  the 
I  do  not  say 
curable  state, 
Al  for  thought 
prayer.  It  is 
lould  come  to 
be  Devil.  To 
e  burning,"  is 


MMMaiUiaHl 


PEIVOLITV  AND  FLIRTATION. 


87 


not  the  natural  way  of  entering  the  kingdom  of 
God.  The  doctrine  of  total  depravity  does  not 
mean  that  the  boy  or  girl  cannot  be  very  good 
without  first  being  very  bad.  The  tendency 
may  be  corrected  before  it  has  developed  itself. 
The  little  stream  may  be  best  turned  before  it 
becomes  the  swollen  torrent.  For  this  reason 
I  am  penning  this  warning  to  our  fair  young 
girls  to  respect  their  womanhood,  and  not  be- 
draggle it  in  the  mud  of  frivolity,  of  heartless 
flirtation.  You  canno:  wash  your  heart  as  you 
can  your  pocket-handkerchief.  To  keep  your 
heart  clean  is  comparatively  easy ;  to  cleanse  it 
when  once  it  is  befouled,  is  an  Augean  task. 
Timothy  Titcomb's  words  upon  this  subject  are 
wise  and  helpful : 


"  The  silly  dispensation  or  stoge  of  a  young  woman's 
life  Is  marked  by  many  curious  symptoms,  some  of  them 
indicative  of  disease.  They  sometimes  eat  slate  pencils 
and  chalk,  and  have  been  known  to  take  kindly  to  broken 
bits  of  plastering;  others  take  a  literary  turn,    .    .    . 


^  mm 


nm 


-?grit'(?.-£:r3gExri3.tt'Mf.'— r-" 


o9 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


others  still  take  to  shopping  and  dawdling  with  clerks 
who  have  dawning  beards  and  red  cheeks.  If  a  young 
woman  can  be  safely  carried  through  this  silly  dispensa- 
tion, the  great  step  of  life  wii'  have  been  gained.  Girlish 
attachments  and  girlish  ideas  of  men  are  the  silliest 
things  m  aU  the  world.  If  you  do  not  believe  It,  ask 
your  mothers.  Ninety-nine  times  In  a  hundred  they  wlU 
teU  you  that  they  did  not  marry  the  boy  they  fancied 
before  they  had  a  right  to  fancy  anybody. 

"  If  you  dream  of  matrimony  for  amusement  and  for 
the  sake  of  killing  time,"  he  continues,  "  I  have  this  to 
say,  that,  considering  the  kind  of  young  man  you  fancy, 
you  can  do  quite  as  well  by  hanging  a  hat  upon  a  hitching 
post  and  worshiping  it  through  your  chamber  window. 
To  become  a  flirt  Is  to  metamorphose  into  a  disgusting 
passion  that  which  by  natural  constitution  is  a  harmless 
and  useful  instinct. 

"  This  Instinct  of  coquetry  should  be  left  to  Itself, 
unstimulated  and  unperverted,  and.  In  the  formative 
stage  of  your  womanhood,  by  Initiating  shallow  attach- 
ments and  heartlessly  breaking  them,  you  are  doing 
violence  to  your  own  nature,  you  make  of  yourself  a 
woman  whom  your  own  sex  despise,  and  whom  all  sensi- 
ble men  are  afraid  of.  They  will  not  love  and  they  will 
not  trust  you.  This  Instinct,  then,  is  not  a  thing  to  be 
harmlessly  played  with ;  and  I  know  of  few  more  unhappy 
and  disgusting  sights  than  a  girl  bringing  Into  her 
womanhood  this  passion —hanuful  alike  to  herself  and 
others." 


^u<^ 


ON. 

g  with  clerks 
I.  If  a  young 
silly  dispeusa- 
lined.  Girlish 
re  the  silliest 
believe  it,  ask 
1(1  red  they  will 
r  they  fancied 

ement  and  for 
I  have  this  to 
lan  you  fancy, 
pon  a  hitching 
mber  window. 
»  a  disgusting 
1  is  a  harmless 

left  to  itself, 
the  formative 
hallow  attach- 
ou  are   doing 

of  yourself  a 
horn  all  sensi- 
I  and  they  will 

a  thing  to  be 

more  unhappy 
sing  into  her 
to  herself  and 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


89 


I  have  brought  to  you  this  long  quotation 
because  the  honored  name  coupled  with  it  gives 
it  a  weight  which  adds  to  the  wisdom  and 
moderation  of  the  sentiment. 

Frivolity  and  Flirtation  are  coupled  together 
not  for  the  sake  of  alliteration,  but  because 
they  are  twin  sisters,  rather  we  may  call  them 
Siamese  twins.  I  never  saw  Chang  without 
Eng.  One  could  not  survive  the  other.  When 
we  treat  one  of  these  twins  we  must  treat 
the  other  at  the  same  time.  Besides  advice 
from  noted  names  in  literature  already  quoted 
I  have  words  no  less  wise  and  strong  from  those 
who  appreciate  more  fully  your  circumstances, 
and  sympathize  with  you  in  every  struggle.  A 
well-known  author,  whose  books  have  often  ab- 
sorbed your  attention,  writes  to  me  as  follows : 

"  Flippancy  is  the  most  mischievous  fault  which  threat- 
ens our  young  American  girl.  She  takes  nothing  seriously 
excepting  her  lessons  at  school.  She  answers  everything 
and  everybody  as  lightly  and  wittily  as  is  possible  to  her, 


■.;amimtmsmkmiimsasmms^aamimiiii- 


n 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


and  If  she  is  clever  enough  she  is  sarcastic.  She  gets  a 
vague  notion  from  modern  stories  that  this  Is  the  way 
society  people  U!k.  The  consequence  Is  that  she.  In  cul- 
tivating  this  style,  regards  persons,  things,  principles, 
facis  and  events  and  herself  In  a  half-quizzing,  half-cynl- 
cal  fashion,  and  our  sweet,  kind,  merry,  helpful,  affec- 
tionate, okl-fashloned  schoolgirl  Is  being  replaced  by  a 
bold,  bright,  pushing  person  whom  no  one  loves." 


"  I  believe,"  writes  another,  "  the  thing  much 
to  be  deplored  to-day  with  many  of  our  girls,  is 
the  loss  of  the  gentler,  sweeter  grace  of  maiden- 
hood—must I  write  it?  — a  lack  of  real  mod- 
esty. There  is  a  boldness,  a  loudness  of  speech, 
a  flippant  coquetry,  meaningless  and  some- 
times questionable  jesting  — which  cannot  fail 
to  lower  the  standard  and  result  in  harm.  Let 
me  give  you  this  beautiful  picture  of  the  'ideal 
girl'  from  this  same  good  friend  of  youra. 
*  My  ideal  girl  is  a  rare  and  lovely  combination 
of  sweetness  and  strength.  Pure  as  the  unsul- 
lied snow  that  falls  on  the  crest  of  the  hills, 
strong  as  the   everlasting  hills  themselves  to 


>N. 


FRIVOLITY    AND  FLIRTATION. 


91 


i 


She  gets  a 
liH  is  the  way 
at  8he,  in  cal- 
;m,  prlncipleH, 
Ing,  half-cyni- 
Iielpful,  affec- 
replaced  by  a 
oves." 


thing  much 
our  girls,  is 
I  of  maiden- 
f  real  mod- 
>s  of  speech, 

and  some- 
cannot  fail 
harm.  Let 
f  the  '  ideal 

of  youra. 
sombination 
>  the  unsul- 
I  the  hills, 
imselves  to 


demand  purity  for  purity  in  the  young  men 
with  whom  they  clasp  hands.'  " 

"  There  is  great  danger,"  says  another,  "  for 
the  girls  who  are  raised  above  the  need  of  earn- 
ing their  own  living,  lest  they  fall  into  frivolity. 
Within  a  month  I  heard  the  pastor  of  one  of 
the  largest  and  best  suburban  churches  say  that 
he  had  fifty  girls  in  his  congregation  — most  of 
them  church  members — who  are  too  frivolous 
to  be  depended  upon  for  any  real,  earnest 
church  work.  Their  mothers  are  lovely  women, 
deeply  engrossed  in  various  forms  of  ch&ritable 
work ;  but  the  girls  are  too  much  taken  up  with 
dress,  society,  art  and  literary  pursuits  to  count 
for  much  in  church  work." 

*'I  have  noticed,"  says  another,  "that  one 
great  danger  lying  in  the  path  to  noble  woman- 
hood, is  want  of  sobriety.  Young  ladies  should 
cultivate  dignity,  as  dignity  is  a  safeguard  of 
virtue."  Of  course  this  friend  does  not  mean  a 
stilted  outward  propriety,  that  is  scrupulous 


92 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FUUTATION. 


simply  about  little  matters  of  etiquette;  she 
means,  I  knonr,  a  ladylike,  dignified  soul,  which, 
while  it  may  be  full  of  rtunshine  and  glee  and 
fun,  has  an  instinctive  horror  of  the  loud  and 
boisterous  and  immaidenly ;  such  pure  sweet 
dignity  is  to  the  maiden  soul  what  a  rich  fit- 
ting frame  is  to  a  rare  and  beautiful  picture. 
It  protects  it  from  defacement  and  allows  no 
careless,  wanton  hand  to  mar  its  beauty.  '  -^ 
"  If  I  were  to  impress  any  one  thing  more 
than  another  upon  the  young  women  of  to-day," 
writes  another,  "  it  would  be  that  they  are 
lacking  in  womanly  dignity.  They  need  to  be 
told  that  they  hold  themselves  too  cheap — so 
cheap,  that  young  men  treat  them  as  they 
would  a  garment ;  wear  it  a  while  and  then  cast 
it  aside  as  useless.  The  absence  of  this  grace 
of  womanly  dignity  is  a  stepping-stone  to  a  life 
of  dishonor.  If  these  same  girls  could  hear  the 
estimate  of  their  character  as  expressed  by 
these  same  young  men,  their  ears  would  tingle." 


>N. 


TRIVOLITY   AND  FLIRTATION. 


98 


uette;  she 
Boul,  which, 
id  glee  and 
le  loud  and 
pure  sweet 
t  a  rich  fit- 
ful picture. 

allows  no 
uty. 

thing  more 
1  of  to-day," 
it  they  are 
need  to  be 
cheap — so 
\m  as  they 
ad  then  cast 
f  this  grace 
)ne  to  a  life 
aid  hear  the 
tpressed  by 
}uld  tingle." 


I  have  implied  that  the  frivolous  girl  and  the 
flirt  are  usually  synonymous  names  for  the 
same  being.  If  you  could  see  a  transverse  sec- 
tion of  the  brain  and  heart  of  the  frivolous  girls, 
A8  you  can  sometimes  cut  into  a  tree  and  see 
the  rings  which  mark  the  years  of  its  growth,  I 
sometimes  think  that  after  you  get  by  the  core 
of  babyhood,  you  would  find  on  each  concentric 
ring  the  name  of  some  young  man.  Last  year's 
ring  of  growth  bore  the  name  of  John,  and  the 
year  before  it  was  Charlie,  and  the  year  before 
Henry,  and  the  year  before  William. 

School  and  church,  home  and  mother  —  yes, 
and  Christ  himself  —  I  say  it  reverently  —  has 
been  crowded  out,  because  there  has  been  no 
room  in  that  heart  or  head  for  anything  but 
John  or  Charlie  or  Henry  or  William  These 
rings  of  growth  in  the  heart  do  not  mark  whole- 
some, natural  likes  or  loves,  but  merely  suc- 
cessive and  usually  heartless  flirtations,  which 
render  callous  the  nature  which  should  always 


91  FRIVOLITY   AND  FLIRTATION. 

retain  its  childlike  purity  and  freshness.  "  No 
tone  in  Nature's  music,"  it  has  been  said,  "  is 
sweeter  than  a  child's  laugh ;  the  gush  of  a 
stream  that  gurgles  because  it  has  no  depths,  no 
sullen  pools,  or  foaming  rapids.  It  is  an  oiTense 
to  taste  and  feeling,  when,  like  a  dam  built  with- 
in the  bed  of.  the  brook,  the  child  begins  to  long 
for  a  woman's  name  and  triumphs.  Grace  and 
naturalness  take  flight  hand  in  hand.  Frank- 
ness is  exchanged  for  slyness,  the  pure  straight- 
forwardness  of  the  look  for  the  sidelong  glance, 
the  musical  laugh  for  the  simper.  The  unripe 
peach  begins  to  blush  outwardly,  but  to  toughen 
within." 

"One  great  danger  that  young  women  are 
exposed  to,"  writes  a  wise  mother,  "  is  in  being 
on  the  street  a  great  deal  engaged  in  what  may 
seem  like  harmless  flirtation,  but  which  some- 
times ends  in  most  serious  results.  I  have  in 
mind  a  young  lady  who  is  much  on  the  street 
while  her  mother  thinks  she  is  at  the  home  of  a 


ness.  "  No 
in  said,  "  is 

gush  of  a 
3  depths,  no 
s  an  offense 
I  built  with- 
gins  to  long 

Grace  and 
nd.  Frank- 
lire  straight- 
long  glance, 
The  unripe 
t  to  toughen 

women  are 
*is  in  being 
n  what  may 
nrhich  some- 
I  have  in 
n  the  street 
le  home  of  a 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


95 


friend.  I  believe  she  is  an  innocent  girl  now, 
but  I  tremble  for  what  may  happen  to  her  if 
she  is  not  awakened  to  a  sense  of  her  danger. 
Young  friends,  did  you  know  that  there  is  a 
class  of  harpies  in  the  community  that  reckon 
on  this  trait  of  character,  and  hope  to  grow 
rich  by  luring  you  on  in  this  same  way  which 
seems  so  innocent  and  so  bedecked  with  flowers 
atfii-st?" 

A  father  told  me,  the  other  day,  that  he  was 
horrified  at  finding  that  his  little,  innocent 
twelve-year-old  girl  had  sent  to  her  through  the 
mails,  an  advertisement  of  a  "  handbook  of  flirta- 
tion." This  book  professed  to  give  full  direc- 
tions as  to  "  how  to  win  a  lover,"  It  told  very 
minutely  how  to  manage  a  handkerchief  or  fan 
flirtation.  How  one  motion  meant,  "  meet  me 
on  the  corner,"  and  anoth«.r.  "  T  am  yours,"  and 
a  third,  "  I'll  come  when  the  old  folks  are  out 
of  the  way,"  and  other  things  too  bad  to  speak 
or  print.  ^        " 


96 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


I  did  not  wonder  that  his  soul  was  boiling 
with  indignation  to  think  that  these  serpents 
should  get  the  names  even  of  little  girls  in  the 
primary  school  in  order  to  teach  them  their 
devilish  tricks ;  and  I  mention  this  fact  here, 
that  the  fathei-s  and  mothers,  knowing  that  such 
vipera  are  crawling  about  the  community,  may 
beware  of  their  slime  and  their  sting.  But, 
after  all,  young  friends,  the  cure  rests  with  you, 
not  with  your  fathers  or  mothers.  Your  hearts 
are  in  your  own  keeping.  If  these  rings  of 
frivolous,  heartless  flirtation  do  mark  your  lives, 
you  do  not  need  to  allow  any  more  to  grow. 
Next  year's  ring  of  growth  may  be  pure  and 
sweet  and  wholesome.  There  is  a  sound,  inno- 
cent heart,  I  believe  —  the  innocent  heart  of 
childhood  —  in  every  one  of  you,  which  is  not 
overlaid  or  hidden  completely  by  the  frivolity 
and  worldliness  of  subsequent  years.  Get  back 
to  that.  It  is  the  Bible  rule :  ">  Except  ye  be 
converted  and  become  as  little  children,  pure, 


I 
I 


ST. 

'^as  boiling 
ie  serpents 
;irl8  in  the 
bhem  their 

fact  here, 
g  that  such 
unity,  may 
ing.  But, 
s  with  you, 
four  hearts 
se  rings  of 

your  lives, 
■e  to  grow, 
e  pure  and 
iound,  inno- 
at  heart  of 
rhich  is  not 
;he  frivolity 
.  Get  back 
ccept  ye  be 
Idren,  pure, 


FBIVOLITV  AKD  FLIRTATION. 


97 


innocent,  loving,  tender,  ye  cannot  enter  into 
the  kingdom  of  heaven." 

In  the  last  chapter  but  one  I  told  you  about 
the  sisters  of  Aimlessness.  In  this  let  me  say  a 
few  words  about  some  relatives  (they  are  at 
least  as  near  as  first  cousins)  of  Frivolity. 

One  of  these  firet  cousins  of  Frivolity  is  ex- 
aggeration in  the  use  of  words,  and  a  very  near 
relative  of  exaggeration  is  slang. 
.   "I  was  walking  along  the  street  the  other 
day,'  says  Dr.  Holland,  "when  I  met  an  ele- 
gantly dressed  lady  and  gentleman  upon  the 
sidewalk.    As  I  came  within  hearing  of  their 
voices  — they  were  quietly  chatting  along  the 
^ay  — I  heard  these  words  from  the  woman's 
lips :  '  You  may  bet  your  life  on  that.'    I  was 
disgusted.    I  could  almost  have  boxed  her  ears." 
"A  woman  who  deals  only  in  superlatives," 
he  continues,  "  demonstrates  at  once  the  fact 
that  her  judgment  is  subordinate  to  her  feelings, 
and  that  her  opinions  are  entirely  unreliable." 


98 


FEIVOLITY  Ain>  FLIRTATION. 


All  language  thus  loses  its  power  and  signifi- 
cance.    The  same  words  are  brought  into  use 
to  describe  a  ribbon  in  a  milliner's  window,  as 
are  employed  to  do  justice  to  Thalberg's  execu- 
tion of  Beethoven's  most  heavenly  symphony. 
Let  me  insist  upon  this  thing.    Be  more  eco- 
nomical in  the  use  of  your  mother  tongue.    It  a 
thing  is  simply  good,  say  so ;  if  pretty,  say  so ; 
if  very  pretty,  say  so;  if  fine,  say  so;  if  very 
fine,  say  so ;  if  grand,  say  so ;  if  sublime,  say 
80  ;  if  magnificent,  „dy  so ;  if  splendid,  say  so. 
These  words  all  have  different  meanings,  and  you 
may  use  each  one  in  referring  to  as  many  differ- 
ent objects,  and  not  use  the  word  perfect  once. 

That  is  a  very  large  word  I  This  is  the  same 
vice  at  its  root  that  leads  the  boor  on  the  street 
or  the  hoodlum  to  be  profane,  the  desire  to 
overemphasize  your  words  and  give  them  a 
littlp  temporary  importance. 

Where  you  say  a  thing  is  "perfectly  splen- 
did,"  or  "  too  awfully  good  for  anything,"  he 


™Siilh»ii'iitjtewffirii'i<iiriiiii'i'\;!iiift<<j'i«i'iiiiLiyiAiii">y«wiiii«iiii'-- 


:n^mi 


S. 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION.  99 


nd  signifi- 
t  into  use 
v^indow,  as 
rg's  execu- 
jymphony. 
more  eco- 
igue.  It  a 
ty,  say  so ; 
0 ;  if  very 
blime,  say 
id,  say  so. 
js,  and  you 
lany  differ- 
fect  once. 
s  the  same 
the  street 
desire  to 
ire  them  a 

ctly  splen- 
thing,"  he 


will  prefix  a  vile  oath.  Neither  of  you  mean 
what  you  say,  or  know  what  you  mean. 

This  whole  custom  was  satirized  a  few  years 
ago  by  the  sunflower  aesthetics  who  exhausted 
all  epithets  and  had  recourse  only  to  reduplica- 
tion to  expi-ess  their  feelings;  so  that  a  thing 
became  at  last  "too  utterly  utter"  or  "too 
too."  Such  ridicule  ought  to  have  shown  the 
folly  of  this  straining  after  hyperbole,  but  I 
am  afraid  it  did  not  altogether  accomplish  its 
object.  We  must  remember  that  this  was  a 
subject  which  our  Lord  himself  did  not  think 
too  insignificant  for  him  to  touch  upon,  since 
he  tells  us :  "  Let  your  conversation  be  yea,  yea, 
and  nay,  nay,  for  whatsoever  is  more  than  these 
cometh  of  evil." 

Two  more  fira^  cousins  of  Frivolity  are 
Mesdames  Gossip  and  Slander.  One  able- 
bodied  gossip  or  slanderer  is  enough  to  break 
up  a  whole  church,  and  inaugurate  the  vendetta 
in  ^y  community. 


100 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


My  soul  loathes  with  a  perfect  loathing  that 
one  who  from  pure  maliciousness  takes  up  a 
tale  against  her  neighbor,  and  I  warn  you, 
young  friends,  have  nothing  to  do  with  such  a 
one,  be  she  young  or  old.  Remember  the 
same  finger  of  God  that  wrote  on  the  rock 
tablet  "  Thou  shall  not  kill,"  also  wrote  "  Thou 
shalt  not  bear  false  witness  against  thy  neigh- 
bor," and  gossip  is  always  next  door  to  false 
witness.  This  is  a  habit  that  grows  with  what 
it  feeds  on.  The  young  tattler  is  the  middle- 
aged  gossip,  and  the  old  sland-  -er. 

Why,  I  know  women  and  men,  too,  for  that 
matter,  who  are  as  much  wedded  to  their 
gossipy  stories  as  any  old  tippler  to  his  cups. 
It  would  be  just  as  hard  to  reform  one  as  the 
other.  We  have  inebriate,  asylums,  where 
the  poor  fellow  is  shut  away  from  the  taste  and 
smell  and  sight  of  liquor;  we  ought  to  have 
retreats  for  confirmed  gossips,  where  they  could 
never  mingle  again  with  their  kind,  for  as  sure 


^ 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


101 


ling  that 
kea  up  a 
ram  you, 
ith  such  a 
ruber   the 

the  rock 
>te  "  Thou 
thy  ueigh- 
)r  to  false 
with  what 
he  middle- 

10,  for  that 
I  to  their 
3  his  cups, 
one  as  the 
ms,  where 
e  taste  and 
ht  to  have 
they  could 
for  as  sure 


as  they  do  they  will  find  something  to  gossip 
about.  In  fact,  their  case  is  worse  than  the 
toper's,  for  while  he  may  reg|^in  a  healthy 
stomach  and  an  unvitiated  appetite,  the  slan- 
derer's heart,  even  if  touched  by  the  spirit  of 
God,  will  never  lose  the  pits  and  scars  which 
mar  it.  -...'s  ■;■-;;.■  -•  '■'-  •:, 

I  have  seen  such  gossips,  with  whom  you 
could  not  talk  five  minutes  on  any  subject  with- 
out hearing  something  bad  of  some  one.  Their 
neighbor  across  the  way  they  have  no  good 
word  for,  the  church  they  attend  is  full  of  cheats 
and  shams.  After  a  while  they  have  no  friends ; 
their  sharp  tongue  makes  acquaintances  shy, 
and  neighbors  give  them  a  wide  berth.  They 
become  unhappy,  moody,  miserable,  despicable, 
until  at  last  they  drop  into  an  unwept  grave, 
and  every  one  breathes  more  freely,  because 
they  no  longer  pollute  the  common  air. 

Bunyan's  Pilgrim  in  the  Interpreter's  house 
saw  a  man  very  busy  with  a  muckrake,  gather- 


ISl' 


102 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


ing  together  refuse  and  rubbish  while  all  the 
time  there  hung  over  his  head  a  golden  crown, 
waiting  for  hiyi.  But  he  never  lifted  his  eyes 
to  it.  "  But  the  man  did  neither  look  up  nor 
regard,  but  raked  to  himself  the  straws,  the 
small  sticks  and  dust  of  the  floor,"  says  Bunyan. 
What  a  perfect  description  of  the  gossip  and 
slanderer.  She  rakes  together  all  the  dirt  she 
can  find.  In  another  person's  character  she 
tries  to  find  it,  in  the  ill-savory  talk  of  the 
police  court,  in  the  reeking  columns  of  the  low 
newspaper.  Wherever  she  finds  it  she  gathere 
it  together  and  saves  it  for  future  distribution. 
Marion  Harland  compares  her  to  the  carrion 
fl}'  who  only  enjoys  food  after  it  is  so  rank  that 
no  decent  person  wants  to  touch  it.  "  The 
gamin,"  she  says,  "  who  would  not  hearken  to 
a  story  of  a  gc  d  little  boy  unless  he  might 
afterward  be  treated  to  one  about  two  bad  little 
boys,  'uncommon  rum  'uns,  you  know,'  was 
honest  in  the  expression  of  this  instinct.    At 


[lie  all  the 
len  crown, 
d  his  e3'e8 
lok  up  nor 
itraws,  the 
ys  Bunyan. 
gossip  and  , 
lie  dirt  she 
ii-acter  she 
talk  of  the 
of  the  low 
she  gathera 
iistribution. 
the  carrion 
0  rank  that 
i  it.    "The 
hearken  to 
IS  he  might 
vo  bad  little 
know,'  was 
nstinct.    At 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIllTATION. 


103 


heart  he  was  a  nascent  vulture,  and  in  his  sim- 
plicity revealed  the  hankering  after  carrion." 
If  these  carrion  flies  were  only  bad  little  boys 
in  the  street  we  could  take  caro  of  them  easily. 
Sometimes  they  live  in  a  fine  house,  sometimes 
by  mistake  they  get  into  the  church,  but  you 
can  tell  them  by  their  buzzing,  by  their  fault- 
finding, by  their  back-biting,  by  the  way  they 
seek  to  sting,  and  by  the  way  they  are  dia- 
trusted  and  disliked.  -     ^i.?    ?* 

"One  of  the  most  attractive  sights,"  says 
one  whose  words  to  the  young  are  always  wise, 
"  is  that  of  a  young  woman  who  not  only  will 
neither  say  nor  hear  ill  of  any  one,  but  who 
takes  especial  pains  to  notice  those  vhom  the 
crowd  neglects.  Suoh  a  woman  is  the  ad- 
mired of  all  whose  admiration  is  worth  secur- 
ing. And  now,  young  woman,  if  you  are  one 
of  the  sharp  ones,  and  are  tempted  to  say  keen 
things,  remember  that  you  are  in  very  great 
danger  of  injuring  youi-self,  not  only  in  your 


r 


104 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


own  soul,  but  in  the  eyes  of  all  those  whom 
you  imagine  you  are  pleasing." 

But,  after  all,  nearly  related  to  Frivolity  as 
are  these  evils,  gossip,  slander,  loud  talk  and 
immodest  behavior,  there  is  the  mother  of  them 
all,  and  I  should  not  be  doing  my  whole  duty, 
did  I  not  point  her  out  to  you. 

This  mother  of  so  numerous  a  family  is  Im- 
purity. The  scarlet  letter  is  somewhere  to  be 
found  on  the  mother  of  this  hateful  brood.  In 
Hawthorne's  powerful  story  you  remember  the 
poor,  sinful  woman  of  the  tale  had  to  stand  on 
the  pillory  all  day  with  the  blazing  scarlet  A 
imprinted  on  her  breastf  that  all  might  see  it. 
Ah  I  if  we  could  always  see  it.  We  should 
shudder  with  affright  and  turn  away  as  the  old 
Puritans  did  from  the  hapless  woman  of  the 
story. 

But  the  scarlet  letter  is  there,  perhaps, 
printed  on  the  secret  heart,  where  no  eye  but 
God's  can  see,  but  always  there.    Do  not  say  it 


mmmsfm 


^iPt-f^T^yp' 


FRIVOLITY  AND  PLIETATION. 


106 


ose  whom 

rivolity  as 

talk  and 

3r  of  them 

hole  duty, 

nily  is  Im- 
here  to  he 
brood.  In 
lember  the 
Q  stand  on 
;  scarlet  A 
^ght  see  it. 
^e  should 
as  the  old 
man  o£  the 

e,  perhaps, 
no  eye  but 
lo  not  say  it 


is  a  harmless  flirtation ;  do  not  call  it  mere 
loudness  or  brassiness  or  passing  frivolity.  Of 
course  I  am  not  speaking  nOw  of  girlish  glee  or 
fun  or  effervescent  of  animal  spiiits  —  all  this 
I  rejoice  in.  But  wherever  there  is  a  taint  of 
immodesty,  the  scarlet  letter  is  always  there, 
and  you  have  begun  to  walk  in  the  ways  of  her 
whose  steps  take  hold  on  Death.  Because  of 
the  preciousness  of  your  treasure  I  urge  you 
with  all  earnestness  to  guard  it  well.  You  are 
tossing  away  your  Kohiuoor  when  you  are 
dallying  with  temptation  of  this  sort.  The 
frivolous  flirt  throws  her  only  jewel  into  the 
gutter  for  swine  in  human  form  to  tread  upon. 

The  bloom  on  the  peach  once  brushed  off 
does  not  return.  Paint  it  ever  so  skillfully, 
you  cannot  restore  its  bloom.  The  virgin  lily 
once  crumpled  and  bruised  is  never  itself  again, 
however  you  press  out  its  white  petals.  The 
snow,  smirched  and  blackened,  is  never  again 
the  symbol  of  purity  that  it  was  when  it  fell 


I 


106 


FRIVOLITY  AND  FLIRTATION. 


from  heaven.  Therefore  I  would  say  to  you 
with  words,  burning  hot,  if  I  could  compass 
them,  Beware,  beware,  beware  of  the  first  step 
on  the  road  that  may  lead  you  at  last  to  the 
pilloiy,  to  take  your  place  beside  the  outcast 
woman  with  the  blazing  scarlet  letter  ou  her 
braast 


I 


9. 


ay  to  you 
1  compass 
I  first  step 
Last  to  the 
;he  outcast 
ter  ou  her 


CHAPTER  V. 


QBTTINO   MARBIBD. 


A  aerlotu  Topic  —  Before  the  Divorce  Court  —  A  pemwMiI 
ExperUnce  —  MiUom  and  We$U.v  —  Fear  of  being  an  old 
Maid  — A  Bival  of  Ouvier  —  A  Hofue  and  a  Home  — 
Selling  One's  nelf  for  a  Home—  Do  not  marrn  a  Man  to 
reform  Him  — A  young  Woman't  OpporlunUv  —  Mena- 
gea  f^om  Mother$  —  The  Conclusion  of  the  whole  Matter. 


I  HESITATE  to  approach  this  theme  of  get- 
ting married,  not  because  it  is  of  little 
importance,  but  because  it  is  of  such  vast  im- 
portance that  I  feel  the  need  of  divine  guidance 
in  treating  it  plainly  but  wisely.  I  hesitate 
also,  because  so  much  that  is  silly  and  weak 
and  namby-pamby  has  been  written  and  spi>ken 

107 


108 


GBTTIMG   MARRIKD. 


on  the  subject,  that  it  has  thus  been  almost  en- 
tirely  removed  from   the  catef^ory   of  serious 

topics. 

The  buffoon  and  the  clown  in  the  circus  ring 
and  the  funny  paragrapher  have  been  given  a 
monopoly  of  this  subject,  until  it  has  been 
crowded  out  of  serious  conversation,  and 
crowded  into  the  facetious  half-column  of  the 
weekly  newspaper. 

If  any  one  expects  to  find  in  these  chapters  a 
series  of  attempted  witticisms  or  sharp  sayings 
from  the  standpoint  of  the  funny  man,  he  will 
be  disappointed,  for  it  is  with  prayer  and  earn- 
estness and  most  serious  purpose  that  I  would 
talk  to  the  girls  about  "  Getting  Married.** 

"  Free-lovism,*'  says  Dr.  Talmage,  when 
speaking  of  the  evils  of  divorce,  "has  struck 
the  good  ship  Marriage  from  one  side,  and  Mor- 
monism  struck  it  from  the  other  side,  and  hur- 
ricanes of  liberalism  have  struck  it  on  all  sides, 
until  the  old  ship  needs  repairs  in  every  plank 


laiminwi' 


><lJ^1ia)IWtS!«»<S»«»Bra»S* 


f»f*^ 


OETTINO  MARBIED. 


[most  en- 
[  aerious 

reus  ring 
I  given  a 
lins  been 
ion,  and 
in  of  the 

shapters  a 
p  sayings 
m,  he  will 
and  earn- 
t  I  would 
ied." 

ge,  when 
aas  struck 
,  and  Mor- 
I,  and  hur- 
n  all  sides, 
very  plank 


and  beam  and  sail  and  bolt  and  clamp  and  tran< 
som  and  stanchion." 

But  we  may  talk  and  pray  against  divorce 
all  we  will ;  we  may  multiply  our  anti-divorce 
leagues,  and  strengthen  our  laws;  this  is  all 
well,  but  we  must  go  farther  back  than  this. 
Long  before  the  di voice  court  looms  up  to  the 
view,  happiness  has  fled.  Long  before  that 
was  the  unwise,  foolish  clu)ice  brought  about 
by  thoughtlessness  and  trivial  ideas  of  the 
whole  subject  of  love  and  marriage.  There  is 
the  fountain-head  of  the  evil.  The  whole  mat- 
ter has  been  minified  and  degraded  by  unworthy 
thoughts  and  unworthy  jokes  and  unworthy 
imaginings,  until  one  hesitates  to  touch  it,  even 
with  the  desire  of  dignifying  and  elevating  it. 
The  divorce  court  stands  at  the  end  of  the 
long  lane,  but  the  frivolous,  thoughtless,  mean- 
ingless flirtation,  or,  rather,  the  totally  un- 
worthy and  trivial  view  of  the  marriage  relation, 
stands  at  the  beginning  of  the  lane. 


■  ■'-  y^i^-:^:  2f£:.'i^:^.^:±r^..  *n-v.^.<':hf^iiSi^,. 


110 


OBrXING  MABRIED. 


I 


Veiy  often,  in  my  ministry,  couples  have 
come  to  me  to  get  married,  with  a  license  regu- 
larly made  out  and  signed  by  the  city  registrar. 
There  was  no  ostensible  reason  that  I  could 
give  for  not  marrying  them,  and  yet  the  whole 
thing  was  evidently  so  lightly  regarded,  so 
thoughtlessly  entered  into,  with  so  slight  an 
acquaintance,  and  so  little  regard  to  the  irrevo- 
cable future,  that  I  have  hesitated  to  pronounce 
those  solemn  words  that  bind  two  lives  together. 
Sometimes  I  have  refused  to  do  so,  but  more- 
often  with  a  slight  twinge  of  conscience  I  have 
performed  the  service,  not  knowing  exactly 
what  else  to  do.  To  make  any  amends  that  I 
may  be  abu,  for  harm  unwittingl}'  done-  I  now 
desire  to  speak  a  most  earnest  word. 

For  the  young  women  this  matter  is  of  even 
more  serious  consequence  than  for  those  who 
become  their  life-long  partners. 

We  read  more,  perhaps,  of  the  unhappiness 
that  has  couie  to  the  man,  for  he  more  often 


l<IIW||>WPIIIL^M*PJ.JJJlJ.'jW"!lT:lM.-W'^-;t^f.^ 


GETTING  MARRIED. 


Ill 


lies  bave 
nse  regu- 
registrar. 
,  I  could 
;he  whole 
Etrded,  so 
slight  an 
he  irrevo- 
)ronounce 
I  together, 
but  more 
ice  I  have 
g  exactly 
ids  that  I 
)ne;  I  now 

is  of  even 
those  who 

nhappiness 
more  often 


fills  the  public  eye,  and  his  woes  reach  the 
public  ear;  but  wliile  an  unhappy  marriage  is  a 
misfortune  to  him,  it  is  disaster  to  the  woman. 

We  sympathize  with  Socrates,  forever  berated 
by  a  termagant  wife,  and  with  Milton,  who  had 
the  sore  trial  of  a  vixenish  shrew  added  to  his 
blindness,  and  with  John  Wesley,  whose  wife, 
it  is  said,  used  to  make  up  faces  at  him  from 
the  pew,  while  he  preached  the  Gospel  from  the 
pulpit;  but,  whereas  we  know  all  about  one 
Socrates  and  one  Milton  and  one  John  Wesley, 
there  are  ten  thousand  broken-hearted,  neglected 
wives  whom  we  never  hear  about.    "  A  woman 
cannot  afford  to  make  a  mistake,"  says  the 
brilliant  preacher  I  have  already  quoted.    "  If 
a  man  err  in  his  selection,  he  can  spend  his 
evenings  at  the  club,  and  dull  his  sensibilities 
by  tobacco  smoke;  but  woman  has  no  club- 
room  for  refuge,  and  would  find  it  difficult  to 
habituate  herself  to  cigars.    If  a  woman  make 
a  mistake  here,  the  probability  is  that  nothing 


112 


GETTING  MARRIED. 


but  a  funeral  can  relieve  it.  Divorce  cases  in 
court  may  interest  the  public,  but  the  love- 
letters  of  a  married  couple  are  poor  reading,  ex- 
cept for  those  who  write  them.  Pray  God  you 
may  be  delivered  from  irrevocable  mistake." 

Then,  in  the  first  place,  I  would  say :  Do  not 
marry  a  man  for  fear  of  remaining  an  old  maid. 
One  of  your  friends  to  whom  I  wrote  puts  this 
at  the  head  of  a  long  list  of  evilu  to  which  she 
thinks  you  are  subject,  and  she  adds  these 
noble  words  :  '*  Be  brave  to  meet  life  as  a  single 
woman,  if  God  wills  it  so,  and  desire  to  honor 
that  position  rather  than  fling  away  all  that  is 
most  precious  to  every  woman,  for  the  sake  of 
the  world's  opinion.  While  they  laugh  at  us, 
they  need  us,"  she  continues,  *'  so  that  we  have 
the  best  of  the  bargain." 

That  is  most  true.  The  world  needs  you  all. 
It  has  little  use  for  a  broken-hearted  wife,  with 
the  spirit  crushed  out  of  her  by  the  kicks  and 
neglect    and    unkind  words    of   a    masculine 


!imm$immm.: 


/ 


<P"P 


».*'UiLiW'.iim*M»'|WiWjf)!W.^SWWA!-'W^ll'M.\tia 


cases  in 
he  love- 
ding,  ex- 
God  you 
^ke." 
:  Do  not 
)ld  maid, 
puts  this 
'hich  she 
ds   these 
3  a  single 
to  honor 
11  that  is 
9  sake  of 
gh  at  us, 
;  we  have 

Is  you  all. 
wife,  with 
kicks  and 
masculine 


QKTTING  MAEBIBD.  1|^ 

wretch  whom  she  calls  her  husband.    She  can 
do  very  little  toward  making  the  world  more 
pure  or  sunshiny  ;  but  the  maiden  lady,  be  she 
one  score  or  thieescore  years  of  age,  can  fill  a 
place,  which    forty  such  wives  would   leave 
empty,  with  happiness  to  herself,  and  blessed- 
ness to  all  whom  her  influence  reaches.    What 
a  benediction  to  many  and  many  a  household 
is  this  maiden  sister  or  aunt,  or  cousin !    More 
often  than  not  she  remains  as  she  is  because 
she  is  wiser  and  wittier  than  her  sister  who 
jumps  at  the  glittering  bait,  only  to  find  that 
there  is  a  barbed  hook  beneath  it,  and  that  the 
marriage  ring  is  not  a  golden  fetter  of  love,  but 
an  iron  band  that  presses  all  that  is  lovely  and 
sweet  and  fresh  out  of  the  life.    If  I  could  get 
this  idea  into  many  a  pretty,  thoughtless  Uttle 
head,  that  there  is  something  beside  beaux  and 
marriage  to  look  forward  to,  that  the  noblest 
life  may  be  the  single  life,  I  should  be  doing  a 
service  which  will  be  none  the  less  real  because 


SSi 


OBTTINO  MARRIBD. 


I  may  never  receive  any  thanks  for  it.  The 
little  seven-year-old  girl  of  whom  we  have  read 
is  hardly  a  caricature  on  the  silly  sentimentality 
that  often  creeps  into  the  nursery  before  pina- 
fores are  discarded.  "  Uncle  Horace,"  she  said, 
"eight  and  seven  make  fifteen,  don't  they?" 
"Yes,  my  child."  "Then,"  she  said,  "it  is 
only  eight  years  before  I  have  a  beau,  and  — 
ohi  I  dread  it." 

I  like  to  i-e-enforce  my  words  just  here  with 
the  wisdom  of  one  who  never  approaches  such 
a  subject  without  illuminating  it.  "Women 
too  often  grow  up  from  the  cradle  with  the 
idea  that  it  is  a  horrible  thing  to  be  an  old 
maid.  Thi  \  in  the  minds  of  half  the  girls,  is 
the  most  terrible  thing  in  the  world.  They 
can  abide  anything  better  than  that.  So  they 
feel  a  kind  of  obligation  to  jump  at  the  first 
offer,  they  are  so  much  afraid  they  shall  never 
have  another.  Let  them  remember  that  a  mis- 
mated  match  is  much  worse  than  an  unraated 


OETTINO  MARRIED. 


116 


here  with 
iches  such 

"  Women 
I  with  the 
be  an  old 
he  girls,  is 
lid.  They 
So  they 
it  the  first 
hall  never 
hat  a  mis- 
1  unmated 


life.  I  believe  that  marriago  is  the  true  condi- 
tion, but  I  know  that  every  man  or  woman  will 
be  more  unhappy,  if  they  are  badly  matched, 
than  if  not  matched  at  all." 

The  question  of  late  has  become  almost  a  by- 
word, "  Is  marriage  a  failure  ?  "  Without  going 
into  the  general  subject,  it  requires  no  prophetic 
gifts  to  predict  that  your  marriage  will  be  a 
failure  if  you  marry  a  man  simply  because  you 
like  him,  or  have  a  passing  fancy  for  his  good 
looks  or  manly  graces.  The  chances  are  that 
these  looks  and  graces  exist  largely  only  in 
your  own  imagination. 

Some  one  has  remarked  that  as  Cuvier  could 
construct  a  whole  animal  from  a  singly  bone,  so 
a  romantic  girl  can  construct  a  hero  out  of  a 
single  glance  of  the  eye  or  wave  of  the  pocket 
handkerchief.  But  the  difference  is  that  while 
Guvier's  animal  would  doubtless  be  true  to 
nature,  your  hero  would  have  no  counterpart 
outride  of  your  vivid  imagination.    When  you 


?..*:  ^?n0y?s^vS's?:fe:^Ra?»j£-'~*^t:5K»^tT^-:'->3"C^^- 


■■}-  '?^ 


116 


OBTTINO  MARRIBD. 


c&ine  to  know  him,  you  would  find,  like  your 
little  sister  in  the  nursery,  when  she  dissects 
her  doll,  that  he  was  stuffed  with  saw-dust,  or 
that  he  was  a  veiy  cheap  edition  of  Nature's 
noblest  work, "  bound,"  as  has  been  wittily  said, 
"  in  whole  calf."  Here  is  where  the  evil  that  I 
deplore,  and  am  warning  you  against,  usually 
starts.  It  is  the  attraction  of  a  passing  fancy 
magnified  by  an  active  imagination.  A  sad,  sad 
disillusion  too  often  follows.  With  the  utmost 
seriousness  I  would  say.  Be  very  careful  not  to 
mistake  a  transitory  fancy  for  lasting  love.  It 
Is  an  awful  and  solemn  promise  that  you  make 
at  the  marriage  altar.  Do  not  promise  to  love, 
honor  ancj  obey  him  in  whom  there  is  lit  le  to 
love  and  nothing  to  honor,  and  whom  you  can 
not  obey  wichout  losing  all  self-respect.  If 
only  your  happiness  in  this  world  were  con- 
cerned, I  might  well  utter  this  warning.  If 
only  the  next  forty  years  of  your  life  hinged  on 
this  matter  I  might  well  occupy  a  pag^  in  dis- 


mmSSSBtmiSBM 


Vib 


GETTTITO  MARRIED. 


117 


id,  like  your 
she  dissects 
saw-dust,  or 
of  Nature's 

t  wittily  said, 

le  evil  that  I 
ainst,  usually 

)as8ing  fancy 
I.    A  sad,  sad 
bh  the  utmost 
careful  not  to 
ting  love.    It 
hat  you  make 
omise  to  love, 
ere  is  lit  le  to 
v^honc  you  can 
jlf-respect.     If 
)rld  were  con- 
3  warning.     If 
•  life  hinged  on 

a  page  in  dis- 


cussing it.  But  when  it  is  remembered  that 
the  making  or  marring  of  eternal  blessedness 
often  hinges  right  here :  that  not  forty  but 
forty  million  years  may  depend  upon  this 
choice,  the  full  import  of  the  matter  is  un- 
derstood, t 

To  quote  Dr.  Holland  once  more :  "  It  is  a 
shame  that  women  have  no  more  opportunities 
for  a  choice."  "  My  own  wife,"  he  goes  on  to 
say,  *'very  fortunately  g^t  an  excellent  hus- 
band, but  it  is  something  for  which  she  is  to  be 
g^teful  to  an  overruling  Providence,  for  her 
own  knowledge  had  very  little  to  do  with  it.  I 
could  have  cheated  her  bej'ond  all  accouut. 
I  tell  you,  men  want  studying  for  some  years 
before  you  find  them  out,  and  it  becomes  you 
to  run  fdwer  risks  than  most  of  your  sex  run  in 
this  business.  It  is  a  gooa  deal  of  a  step,  this 
getting  married,  and  I  am  very  anxious  that 
you  should  know  a  great  many  men,  that  you 
should  get  the  one  you  love,  that  he  should  be 


:> 


im^MVlAX  ■'i.^iiJ, 


^'nsMi!«i.fsimm,ii:\  ti , 4  :■' '.g iw^'jiBaBi'.'. jiaumnfeaagsBwc 


M 


118 


OETTIKO  MARRIED. 


worthy  of  you,  and  that  you  should  be  happy 
all  the  days  of  your  life." 

Again  let  me  say  to  you,  young  ladies,  do  not 
marry  simply  for  the  sake  of  a  home.  If  that 
is  your  sole  object  you  will  very  likely  get  a 
roof  to  cover  your  head,  but  it  may  be  anything 
but  a  home.  A  home  to  whi^h  a  drunkard 
comes  reeling,  with  poisoned  breath  and  inco- 
herent speech,  is  no  home.  A  table  with  a 
swinish  brute  on  one  side,  and  a  patient  Gris* 
elda,  who  pours  out  his  tea,  on  the  other,  '^oes 
not  furnish  a  home.  A  shiftless,  ne'er-do-well, 
who  cannot  support  himself,  much  less  a  family, 
can  never  provide  you  a  true  home. 

There  are  ten  thousand  houses  in  every  great 
city  that  enshrine  no  homes.  In  the  home 
there  must  be  respect  and  forbearance  and 
mutual  interests,  and,  above  all,  love.  It  may 
be  ever  so  poor,  without  any  bric-&-brac,  with- 
out a  single  expensive  tidy,  with  no  grand 
piano,  with  no  drapery  at  the  windows  and  no 


Id  be  happy 

ladies,  do  not 

[)ine.     If  that 

likely  get  a 

y  be  anything 

I  a  drunkard 

lath  and  inco- 

table  with  a 

patient  Gria- 

he  other,  '^oes 

I,  ne'er-do-well, 

h  less  a  family, 

ne. 

in  every  great 
In  the  home 
rbearance  and 
,  love.  It  may 
ric-^-brac,  with- 
with.  no  grand 
indows  and  no 


GBTTINO  MARRIED. 


119 


Brussels  on  the  floor.  It  may  contain  only  two 
straight-bo.cked  chairs,  a  table  and  a  stove,  and 
yet  be  a  true  home,  if  on  the  secret  altar  the 
fires  of  love  are  kindled  before  marriage,  and 
are  allowed  to  burn  freely  aii^  cheerily  after 
marriage. 

Now  listen  attentively,  I  beg  of  you,  to  this 
ringing  r^.essage  that  has  been  sent  you  by 
one  of  my  wise  correspondents :  *'  One  danger 
which  threatens  our  young  women  is  that  of 
selling  themselves.  They  work  year  after  year, 
for  very  small  wages,  go  home  at  night  to  small, 
uncomfortable  rooms,  sit  down  and  think  of 
the  hard  lines  in  which  their  lots  are  cast.  Few 
take  any  interest  in  them,  and  they  find  life's 
work  drudgery,  and  life  itself  almost  a  burden. 
They  struggle  on,  trying  to  keep  up  appear- 
ances, and  at  last  discouraged,  sell  their  finer 
instincts  and  blunt  their  consciences,  accepting 
—  purely  for  a  home  and  because  they  are  so 
tired  — the  proffered  protection  (?)  of  those  un- 


■  ...:Xi:;>^.'iisk4!m3i4'\Am't^r 


120 


OBTTINO  MARRIED. 


fit  to  associate  with  them,  much  less  to  call 
them  wives.  I  know  a  young  lady  in  the  city 
who  married  a  man  who  is  not  her  equal,  and 
from  whom  she  is  far  removed  in  age,  simply 
because  he  has  money  to  spend  in  dressing  her, 
and  she  is  ♦  so  tired '  of  struggling  alone.  It  is 
possible  to  live  on  very  little,  and  be  happy  and 
independent  on  that  little.  In  many  cases  it 
seems  to  me  that  all  that  is  needed  to  help  our 
girls  is  to  make  them  less  selfish,  less  bound  up 
in  thinking  of  their  own  lot  in  life  ;  to  open  to 
them  the  richness  there  is  in  life,  the  value  of 
living  and  struggling  when  there  is  a  purpose 
in  it." 

These  are  noble  words.  I  \*ish  they  might 
be  written  in  fetters  of  gold  and  hung  up  in 
your  chamber,  where  first  of  all  in  the  mom- 
ing  your  eyes  might  fall  on  them,  and  thus 
realize  the  richness  of  every  life  that  has  a 
noble  purpose  running  through  it.  That  is  the 
secret  of  it ;  learn  that  secret,  and  your  life. 


OBTTINO  MARRIED. 


121 


ess  to  call 

in  the  city 
equal,  and 

age,  Biroply 
Iressing  her, 
Alone.  It  is 
e  happy  and 
any  cases  it 

to  help  our 
tss  bound  up 
;  to  open  to 
the  value  of 
is  a  purpose 

\i  they  might 
I  hung  up  in 
in  the  mom- 
sm,  and  thus 
3  that  has  a 
That  is  the 
ind  your  life. 


with  or  without  a  husband,  will  be  rich  and 
fully  blessed. 

Once  more  let  me  say,  Bo  not  marry  a  man 
for  the  sake  of  reforming  him.  "  If  now,"  says 
Dr.  Talmage,  veiy  wisely,  "  under  the  restraint 
of  your  present  acquaintance  he  will  not  give 
up  his  bad  habits,  after  he  has  won  the  prize 
you  cannot  expect  him  to  do  so.  You  might 
as  well  plant  a  violet  in  the  face  of  a  northeast 
storm  with  the  idea  of  appeasing  it.  You 
might  as  well  run  a  schooner  alongside  of  a 
burning  ship  with  the  idea  of  saving  the  8hip. 
The  consequence  will  be,  schooner  and  ship 
will  be  destroyed  together.  If  by  twenty-five 
years  of  age  a  man  has  been  grappled  bj^ntoxi- 
cants,  he  is  under  such  headway  that  your  at- 
tempt to  stop  him  would  be  very  much  like 
running  up  the  track  with  a  wheelbarrow  to 
stop  a  Hudson  River  express  train.  It  is  amaz- 
ing," he  continues,  ♦♦  to  see  how  some  women 
will  marry  men,  knowing  nothing  about  them. 


lai 


GETTING   MAUUIUD. 


1 


No  merchant  would  sell  a  hundred  dollars' 
worth  of  goods  on  credit  without  knowing 
whether  the  customer  was  worthy  of  being 
trusted.  No  man  or  woman  would  buy  a  house 
with  incumbrances  of  mortgages  and  liens  and 
judgments  against  it  uncanceled,  and  yet  there 
is  not  an  hour  of  the  day  or  night  for  the  last 
ten  years,  that  there  have  not  been  women,  by 
hasty  marriages,  intrusting  their  earthly  happi- 
ness to  men  about  whose  honesty  they  know 
nothing,  or  who  are  incumbered  with  liens  and 
judgments  and  first  mortgages  and  second 
mortgages  and  third  mortgages  of  evil  habits." 
It  is  a  terribly  dangerous  experiment  that 
you  am  engaged  in  when  you  marry  a  rake  for 
the  sake  of  reforming  him.  But  I  will  tall  you 
of  a  plan  that  is  perfectly  i«afe  and  wise.  Re- 
form him  before  you  marry  him.  There  is  a 
chance  to  display  all  your  powers  and  charms 
as  a  philanthropist  and  a  reformer.  Use  them 
to  the   utmost.    Beforehand  you  have  evety- 


LL. 


idred    dollars' 

lout    knowing 

•thy  of  being 

d  buy  a  houM 

and  liens  and 

and  yet  there 

it  for  the  last 

een  women,  by 

earthly  happi- 

isty  they  know 

with  liens  and 

3S    and    second 

of  evil  habits." 

xperiment  that 

aarry  a  rake  for 

it  I  will  tall  you 

and  wise.    Re- 

im.    There  is  a 

rers  and  charms 

ner.    Use  them 

ou  have  every- 


OKTTIKO  MABUIKO. 


^^^^^ 


thing  in  your  favor,  and  let  the  young  man 
know  that  if  he  cannot  give  up  his  cups  he 
mi^st  give  you  up ;  if  lie  cannot  keep  away  from 
the  gambling-table,  he  must  keep  away  from 
you ;  that  he  must  make  a  choice  forever  be- 
tween his  roisterous  companions  and  you.  Give 
him  time  to  see  that  this  reformation  is  no  tem- 
porary  expedient  for  the  sake  of  winning  a 
bride,  but  that  the  heart  and  life  and  character 
are  affected;  then,  if  you  love  him,  let  him 
talk  of  marriage.  God  has  given  you  this 
power  to  use  for  him.  Every  grace,  every 
virtue,  every  charm,  the  mysterious  halo,  call  it 
illusion  or  delusion  if  you  will,  that  surrounds 
every  maidenly  attraction,  is  a  God-given  influ- 
ence put  into  your  hands  to  regenerate  the  world. 
I  have  great  respect  and  admiration  for  the 
Woman's  Christian  Temperance  Union,  and  all 
organizations  that  have  for  their  object  the  lift- 
ing up  of  the  drunkard,  and  the  rescuing  of  the 
boy  from  the  rumnshop;  but  you  have  more 


iMMimm 


■J9ttKW'.»U!.iAu.-  j-Mibi  JJ.W.»,H«»f  »te!MLHJHf.'«u<'JW.'«m  vm 


5.! 


124 


OBTTINO  MARRIED. 


power,  if  you  would  exercise  it,  in  just  this  line 
than  all  the  temperance  societies  in  the  world. 
Your  argument  with  some  young  man  will  be 
more  effective  than  the  eloquence  of  John  B. 
Gough  ever  was,  or  even  the  sweet  persuasive- 
ness of  Frances  Willard.  From  your  hands 
the  pledge  will  be  accepted  when  it  would  be 
spurned  from  mine.  I  have  a  strong  regard  for 
the  White  Cross  Movement,  and  every  effort 
that  is  made  for  social  purity ;  but  your  influ- 
ence  will  more  quickly  blot  out  the  damning 
sin  against  which  it  aims  than  all  the  efforts  of 
the  Bishop  of  Durham  and  his  co-laborers.  I 
am  heart  and  soul  in  sympathy  with  the  Law 
and  Order  League,  and  every  organization  that 
has  for  its  aim  the  suppression  of  vice ;  but  if 
we  could  only  enlist  you  on  the  right  side,  if 
God  would  make  you  strong  to  speak  the  right 
word  and  do  the  brave  deed,  you  could  do  more 
than  all  these  societies  put  together,  th  >  2gh 
they  were  backed  up  by  all  the  police  and 


-3=SK»as— ._. 


^"^B^^H^^MP^Wf^^^ 


GETTING  MARRIED. 


125 


U8t  this  line 

the  world. 

man  will  be 

of  John  B. 

persuasive- 

your  hands 

it  would  be 

g  regard  for 

every  effort 

t  your  infiu- 

the  damning 

the  efforts  of 

o-laborers.    I 

nth  the  Law 

inization  that 

I  vice;  but  if 

right  side,  if 

eak  the  right 

;ould  do  more 

ether,  th  >  :gh 

le  police  and 


militia  of  the  world.  If  every  young  woman 
in  the  world  should  say  to-day :  "  I  will  never 
marry  a  man  who  drinks  ;  I  will  never  marry  a 
man  who  is  licentious ;  I  will  never  marry  a  dis- 
honest sharper;  I  will  look  before  I  leap  into 
any  man's  arms,  and  know  what  I  am  doing "' ; 
I  say,  if  every  young  woman  should  make  that 
resolve,  the  slow  and  weary  reforms  which 
have  been  dragging  their  length  through  the 
ages  would  make  a  century's  advance  in  an 
hour. 

I  have  dwelt  upon  this  negative  side  of  our 
subject  so  long,  because  positive  truth  underlies 
it  all.  Let  me  give  you  here  the  same  message, 
couched  in  positive  words,  written  by  mothers 
who  know  well  how  to  put  the  truth :  "  Choose," 
says  one,  "as  the  partner  of  your  heart,  your 
home,  your  life,  a  good,  sound,  clean-hearted 
man,  who  loves  you,  and  wins  your  love  by  the 
development  of  tastes  congenial  with  yours;  a 
man  whom,  ^  a  friend,  you  could  esteem  and 


-"WBSS^T?^'-^^ 


>-raeirtsiagaaoMiM<M)MMMta 


iili»i«ij*«Mii»'iiii    ■»' 


126 


GETTING  MARRIED. 


admire  were  he  the  husband  of  another.  That 
is  a  test  that  would  dissipate  a  mere  fancy  into 
thin  air.  Be  slow  to  believe  yourself  in  love. 
The  reality  is  a  beautiful  yet  an  awful  thing. 
It  is  putting  your  life  out  of  your  own  keeping. 
Marriage,  even  to  one  you  love  deeply  and 
sincerely,  is  the  risk  of  all  that  time  can  give 
you  of  bliss,  maybe  of  heaven's  hopes  as  well, 
upon  the  utterance  of  a  dozen  sentences,  a 
speech  not  two   minutes  in  length." 

"The  structure  of  a  true  marriage  must  be 
laid  upon  the  basis  of  a  true  individual  life," 
says  another.  "  When  men  and  women  have 
conceived  and  accepted  the  idea  that  all  good 
in  earth  and  heaven  is  intended  to  minister 
dii-ectly  and  indirectly  to  individual  growth, 
and  that  that  which  we  call  evil,  toil,  poverty, 
sorrow,  pain  and  temptation  tc  a  .  n*»  intended 
for  the  development  of  power  an.i  I  'O  'Uscipline 
of  passion ;  when  they  see  that  life  tends  up- 
wards, and  is  only  a  preparation  for  another 


'WW 


L 


GBTTUTQ  MAKBIED. 


127 


her.  That 
fancy  into 
slf  in  love, 
nrful  thing, 
irn  keeping, 
deeply  and 
le  can  give 
)es  as  well, 
entences,  a 
li." 

ge  must  be 
idual  life," 
romen  have 
tat  all  good 
to  minister 
aal  growth, 
oil,  poverty, 
■ivi'  intended 
no  discipline 
[e  tends  up- 
for  another 


sphere  and  a  better,  and  that  all  that  surrounds 
them  is  perishable,  then  they  can  have  a  con- 
ception of  what  true  mamage  is.  The  relation 
is  illuminated  with  its  full  significance  only  by 
this  true  idea  of  individual  life." 

Realize  the  significance  and  importance  and 
the  vast  interests  that  for  you,  above  all  others, 
hang  on  the  marriage   relation.    Never,  never 
marry  or  engage  yourself  to  marry  as  a  joke,  or 
in  the  spirit  of  fun,  or  because  the  fancy  seizes 
you.    It  would  be  just  as  sensible  to  joke  at 
your  lover's  funeral,  and  would  show  about  as 
much   appreciation  of   the    fitness  of    things. 
Let  there  be  but  one  supreme  reason  for  mar- 
riage; not  propinquity,  not  a  passing  notion,  not 
to  get  a  home  or  to  get  rid  of  work  and  woiTy, 
not  from  a  sentimental  desire  to  reform  a  rake, 
but  because  love  and  respect  go  hand  in  hand, 
and  because  God's  evident  approval  crowns  the 
union.    While  the  divorce  mills  are  grinding 
out  their  ceaseless  grist,  let  the  solemn  words 


128 


GBTTINQ  MABBISD. 


which  close  every  marriage  service  ring  in  your 
ears :  "  What  God  hath  joined  together  let  no 
man  put  asunder."  Consider  such  a  union, 
however  desirable,  as  not  the  inevitable  lot  or 
the  only  path  to  happiness  or  usefulness,  and 
prepare  for  it,'  not  by  idle  dreams  and  constant 
trap-laying,  but  by  living  honestly,  lovingly, 
usefully,  Christ-likely,  remembering  that  the 
only  way  to  become  a  good  wife  is  first  to  be- 
come a  good  woman,  strong  and  pure  and 
gentle  and  true.  Then,  very  likely,  there  will 
be  added,  one  of  these  days,  to  the  beautiful 
homes  which  so  bless  this  poor  old  world, 
another  home  in  which  you  shall  be  the  priestess, 
and  where  the  angel  of  peace  and  love  shall 
abide  forever. 


.  I  LlJllDJMIIWt ■*«?«< 


ig  in  your 
ler  let  no 

a  union, 
ible  lot  or 
Iness,  and 
I  constant 

lovingly, 

that  the 

irst  to  be- 

pure  and 

there  will 

beautiful 

)ld  world, 

e  priestess, 

love  shall 


CHAPTER  VL 

'■■    ■  ■    .  ■■■ 

HOTHBBS,  SISTERS,  DAUGHTERS. 

Traintng  up  a  JParent  in  the  way  he  ihould  go  —  The 
Mothers  of  Great  Men  —  Alfred  the  Great  —  Johnton  — 
Washington  —  Patrick  Henry — The  Mother  should  be 
the  Confidante  —  Young  Americas — A  Mother's  Wis- 
dom—  AntiquvAed  Mothers  —  Mother's  Sacrifices  because 
she  loves  you  —  Bishop  Thompson's  reminiscences  —  The 
Spirit  of  the  Tease—  The  other  GirVs  Brother  — A  Sis- 
terly Influence —  7%e  Home  of  Bethany. 

rriHE  author  of  "  John  Halifax,  Gentleraan," 


X 


in  a  bright  little  book  called  '*  Sermons 


out  of  Church,"  heads  one  chapter,  "  How  to 
Train  Up  a  Parent  in  the  Way  He  Should  Go," 
and  begins  it  with  the  remark  of  a  rather  fast 
young  lady,  **  O,  dear  I    Fm  afraid  I  shall  never 

129 


'■*-«-«S&«!ftivfeJ 


c~iiir 


130         MOTHERS,  SISTERS,  DAUGHTERS. 


manage  to  bring  up  my  mother  properly." 
There  is  certainly  much  truth  in  the  remark  of 
an  old  Quaker  which  she  also  quotes,  a  remark 
addressed  to  a  lady  who  contemplated  adopting 
a  child:  "My  friend,  I  know  not  how  far  thou 
wilt  succeed  in  educating  her,  but  I  am  quite 
certain  she  will  educate  thee." 

I  thank  God  that  there  are  so  many  wise  and 
devout  mothers  in  this  world  of  ours,  so  few, 
comparatively,  that  are  careless  and  godless  and 
prayerlasc.  How  few  there  ai-e  who  do  not 
bring  the  little  hands  together  at  night,  and 
teach  the  Uttle  lips  to  say  »  Our  Father  I "  The 
brightest  spot  in  the  future  outlook  for  Amer- 
ica and  the  world  is  right  here,  that  the  race  of 
pious  mothers  b  not  dying  out. 

One  of  the  most  sacred  places  in  London  is 
the  BunhiU  Fields  Burying-ground,  where  the 
mother  of  the  Wesleys  is  buried.  The  rise  of 
Methodism  can  be  traced  further  back  than  to 
John  and  Charles  Wesley.    The  wisdom,  the 


RS. 

properly." 
remark  of 
,  a  remark 
1  adopting 
nr  far  thou 
am  quite 

Y  wise  and 
rs,  so  few, 
[odless  and 
[lo  do  not 
night,  and 
er!"  The 
for  Amer^ 
the  race  of 

London  is 

where  the 

The  rise  of 

ck  than  to 

irisdom,  the 


MOTHEES,  SISTERS,  DAUGHTERS.         131 

consecration,  the  godliness  of  the  Wesleys* 
mother,  descended  to  her  children,  is  written 
upon  every  page  of  its  records.  The  influence 
of  godly  mothers  has  come  to  be  one  of  the 
commonplaces  of  literature. 

The  mother  of  Alfred  the  Great  was  his  first 
teacher.  Dr.  Samuel  Johnson  never  forgot  the 
religious  principles  which  he  learned  from  his 
devout  mother,  when  a  little  child  in  bed. 

Doddridge  was  converted  by  the  Dutch  tiles 
of  the  fireplace,  it  is  said,  but  it  was  because  a 
beloved  mother  explained  them  to  him,  and 
from  them  taught  him  Scripture  history ;  while 
John  Randolph  used  to  say,  "I  should  have 
been  an  atheist  if  it  had  not  been  for  one  recol- 
lection, and  that  was  the  memory  of  the  time 
when  my  departed  mother  used  to  take  my 
hands  in  hers,  and  cause  me  on  my  knees  to 
say, '  Our  Father  which  art  in  heaven.' " 

Some  one  who  has  studied  this  subject  has 
brought  together  these  suggestive  facts:  "Sir 


n~fr 


182         MOTHEBS,  SISTEBS,  DAUGHTEBS. 


Walter  Scott's  mother  was  a  superior  woman, 
well  educated  and  a  great  lover  of  poetry  and 
painting.  Byron's  mother  was  proud,  ill-tem- 
pered tind  violent.  The  mother  of  Napoleon 
Bonaparte  was  noted  for  her  beauty  and  energy. 
Lord  Bacon's  mother  was  a  woman  of  superior 
mind  and  deep  piety.  The  mother  of  Nero  was 
a  murderess.  The  mother  of  Washington  was 
pious,  pure  and  true.  The  mother  of  Patrick 
Henry  was  marked  by  her  superior  conversa- 
tional powers." 

Follow  back  the  history  of  almost  any  man 
or  woman,  distinguished  for  good  or  e\  ,  and 
you  will  find,  if  you  could  but  know  the  truth, 
that  at  the  door  of  life  stands  a  mother,  of  like 
natura  and  similar  characteristics,  sending  the 
child  forth  with  a  blessing  or  a  curse  for  man- 
kind. But  it  is  not  simply  the  careers  that  fill 
the  eye  of  history,  and  the  names  that  spring  to 
the  lips  of  cheering  crowds,  whom  the  mothers 
have  blessed  or  cursed. 


\B8. 

or  woman, 
poetry  and 
id,  ill-tem- 
Napoleon 
nd  energy. 
){  superior 
I  Nero  waa 
ington  was 
of  Patrick 
'  conversar 

b  any  man 
r  e\  , and 
the  truth, 
ler,  of  like 
snding  the 
8  for  man- 
rs  that  fill 
t  spring  to 
le  mothers 


IIPIMI' 


MOTHERS,  SISTERS,  DAUGHTERS. 


133 


There  may  be  a  John  Wesley,  or  a  Philip 
Doddridge,  or  a  Harriet  Martineau,  or  a  Mary 
Lyon  among  the  Johnnies  and  Philips  and  Har- 
riets  and  Maiys  of  your  nurserieb.  At  any 
rate,  these  Johnnies  and  Harriets  and  Marys  are 
as  dear  to  the  mothers'  hearts,  their  souls  are  as 
precious  in  God's  sight,  our  responsibility  is 
as  great,  as  if  it  was  certain  that  every  ont  of 
them  would  occupy  a  queen's  throne  or  manage 
affairs  of  state. 

As  we  think  of  Madame  Lsetitia,  the  mother 
of  the  Bonaparte  family,  one  son  Emperor  of 
France  and  King  of  Italy  and  well-nigh  dictator 
of  the  world,  another  King  of  Holland,  another 
King  of  Westphalia,  another  King  of  Naples 
and  Spain,  we  say  to  ourselves,  such  a  woman, 
the  mother  of  kings,  should  be  governed,  in> 
deed,  by  high  aspirations  and  the  noblest  aims 
in  bringing  up  such  a  family.  But  we  cannot 
believe  that  the  humblest  and  most  obscure 
mother,  in  God's  sight,  is  any  the  less  responsi- 


"-t».fe.«4'^^sjs: 


184         MOTHERS,  BI8TKB8,  DAUOUTBRB. 


:l 


■I 


1 


i 


ble  for  the  training  of  those  God  has  committed 
to  her  I  CareleHsness  in  the  mother  often  means 
wickedness  in  the  daughter. 

And  right  here  let  there  be  an  earnest  word 
spoken  to  the  mothers  to  make  confidantes  of 
their  daughters,  and  to  keep  up  these  confiden- 
tial relations  as  long  as  life  is  spared.  What  a 
world  of  wretchedness  and  sin  might  have  been 
escaped  if  to  the  mother's  heani;  the  daughter 
always  fled  with  every  secret,  knowing  that 
nothing  was  too  sacred  to  reveal  to  that  loving 
ear.  "  I  think,"  says  a  wise  friend,  "  that  one 
of  the  best  safeguards  for  a  young  girl  is  to 
make  a  confidante  of  her  mother  in  every  little 
thing.  When  I  overhear  a  young  girl  say, 
when  asked  not  to  tell  anybody  what  has  been 
told  her, '  I  shal'  tell  my  mother,  for  I  tell  her 
everything,'  I  feel  that  that  girl  is  safe." 

I  have  many  messages  from  the  mothers,  of 
this  tenor,  of  which  I  can  quote  but  one  or  two : 

**  When  American  mothera  shall  have  adopted 


->4a 


'■^w^'j^Aiiij-:;;^ 


t0^ 


£R8. 

I  committed 
)ften  means 

irnest  word 
ifidantes  of 
le  confiden- 
i.  What  a 
t  have  been 
te  daughter 
owing  that 
that  loving 
,  **  that  one 
g  g^rl  is  to 
every  little 
ig  girl  say, 
at  has  been 
r  I  tell  her 
afe." 

mothers,  of 

one  or  two : 

lave  adopted 


wifmm 


MOTHEBS,  BI8TEBS,  DAUGHTBBS.         185 

a  golden  mean  between  the  restraint  imposed 
upon  French  girls  and  the  unwise  liberty  per- 
mitted to  our  own,  I  believe  few  dangers  will 
await  our  girls,  even  when  they  leave  the  home 
roof  to  earn  their  own  living.  And  when 
mothers  make,  as  too  many  do  not,  the  daugh- 
ter's welfare  first  in  their  hearts,  placing  it 
before  all  social  pleasures,  before  all  public  re* 
forms,  before  all  church  work  even,  and  win 
their  entire  confidence,  these  dangers  will  be 
still  further  diminished.  The  girl  who  keeps 
no  secret  from  her  mother  is  a  safe  girl." 

From  one  who  has  written  to  the  girls  a  long 
letter  packed  with  wisdom,  I  must  make  room 
for  a  few  of  the  many  words  I  would  quot«. 
"Our  girls  need  mothers,"  she  writes.  "To 
how  many  of  our  mothers  is  their  daughter's 
secret  heart-life  a  sealed  book?  How  many 
daughters,  bright  and  sunny  girls,  will  freely 
scatter  confidences  among  their  mates  with  the 
laughing  injunction,  'Now  don't  you  tell.    I 


186         MOTHERS,  BISTERS,  DAUGHTERS. 

wouldn't  have  mother  know  for  anything!' 
And  why  ?  Why  and  where  and  when,  mother, 
was  this  little  heart-cord  snapped  which  once 
joined  the  young  life  to  yours,  heart  of  your 
heart,  and  soul  of  your  soul?  Did  you  once 
smile  at  the  folly  of  their  conceits,  and  call  them 
foolish,  and  let  the  firat  doubts  of  Mother's  per- 
fect sympathy  thrill  the  little  heart  with  pain, 
and  give  the  first  separating  stretch  to  the 
precious  link  binding  you  together  as  one? 
Oh,  wise  and  Ic  ng  mothers  I  'chum'  with 
your  children  fi  "le  very  beginning.  Then 
will  you  hold  them  sweet  and  pure  for  yourself 
and  for  the  Master,  for  time  and  eternity." 

I  know  that  these  pages  reach  a  great  num- 
ber of  loving,  devoted  mothers,  mothers  who 
would  gi^  3  their  lives  for  their  daughters. 
Allow  me  to  leave  one  question  with  them.  Do 
you  know  your  daughter  now  as  you  did  when, 
a  little  tired,  curly-haired  romp,  wearied  with 
the  day's  play,  she  nestled  at  night  in  your 


^rmr 


•'^^■^i^pi 


:r8.    * 

inything !  * 
31),  mother, 
vhich  once 
it  of  your 
i  you  once 
1  call  them 
3ther'8  pei> 
with  pain, 
ch  to  the 
r  as  one? 
lum '  with 
ng.  Then 
)r  yourself 
nity." 

^eat  num' 
others  who 
daughters, 
them.  Do 
1  did  when, 
sailed  with 
it  in  your 


t  IfOTHEUS,  BISTERS,  DAUGHTERS.         187 

arms,  or  is  she  growing  away  from  you  as  she 
grows  older?  Does  she  have  her  secrets  now 
which  you  do  not  share,  and  confldences  into 
which  she  does  not  want  you  to  enter?  Are 
your  paths  gradually  diverging  —  she  going  one 
way  and  you  another  ?  Oh  1  for  her  soul's 
peace  and  yours,  get  back  into  the  same  path 
with  her,  and  walk  with  her,  with  even  step. 
Any  road  in  which  her  mother  cannot  walk  by 
her  side,  is  full  of  pitfalls  and  snares  and  thorns 
for  the  daugl  ler,  full  of  heartache  and  sorrow 
for  the  mother. 

Young  America  has  many  good  points. 
Young  America  is  bright  and  piquant  and 
cheerful  and  usually  good-natured,  but  rever- 
ence for  elders  and  respect  for  parents  are  not 
two  of  his  strong  points,  to  whichever  sex 
young  America  belongs.  We  have  heard  dim 
traditions  of  the  way  in  which  children  of  a 
past  generation,  let  loose  from  school,  took 
pains  to  be  polite  and  respectful  when  their 


138         MOTHERS,  SISTERS,  DAUGHTERS. 


I   If 


ii 


1 


elders  passed  by.  In  other  countries,  we  have 
even  seen  the  rows  of  children  on  either  side  of 
the  road,  as  the  stranger  went  by,  drawn  up  to 
pull  the  respectful  forelock  and  drop  the  cour- 
tesy. But  we  never  thought  of  looking  for 
such  a  thing  in  America.  We  should  be  almost 
as  much  surprised  by  such  polite  .less  and  defer- 
ential respect,  as  by  the  sight  of  a  white  crow 
or  a  snowstorm  in  July.  But  I  am  not  writing 
for  the  sake  of  berating  the  manners  of  the 
present  generation,  but  for  the  sake  of  whisper- 
ing ill  the  eai-s  of  tiic  girls :  "  Be  very  polite 
to,  be  very  thoughtful  of,  be  very  tender  to 
one  person  in  the  world,  and  that  one  a  person 
whom  you  aro  apt  to  treat  with  more  disrespect 
and  carelessness  than  any  other  —  your  own 
mother."  I  have  two  or  three  good  reasons 
for  urging  this  advice  upon  you  most  earnestly. 
In  the  first  place,  she  knows  more  than  you 
do,  and  her  advice  is  entitled  to  respect.  To  be 
sure,  she  may  not  be  able  to  play  the  piano  as 


"  t;  J'!«aTOSB2g|^^-jvSr' 


»>mm" 


.'f)iiHMi.,»,#ji^aBJ.MH  i;  sijjji. 


rEBS. 

ies,  we  have 
sither  side  of 
drawn  up  to 
•op  the  cour- 

looking  for 
lid  be  almost 
!ss  and  defer- 
k  white  crow 
Q  not  writing 
aners  of  the 
e  cf  whisper- 
a  very  polite 
ry  tender  to 
one  a  person 
are  disrespect 
—  your   own 
good  reasons 
lost  earnestly, 
ore  than  you 
spect.    To  be 

the  piano  as 


MOTHERS,  SISTBBS,  DAUGHTERS. 


189 


well  as  you  do,  and  perhaps  cannot  talk  French 
at  all.  Very  likely  she  isn't  so  fresh  in  arith- 
metic and  geography,  and  possibly  she  makes  a 
slip  in  grammar  or  pronunciation  occasionally, 
for  which  you  blush.  But,  after  all,  there  is  no 
doubt  about  it,  she  knows  more  than  you,  and 
her  advice  and  counsel  are  worth  heeding,  as 
you  will  surely  know  when  you  get  by  the 
callow  wisdom  of  girlhood. 

If  you  differ  with  her,  it  is  most  likely  that 
she  is  right  and  you  wrong.  If  you  think 
she  is  old-fashioned,  it  is  more  probable  that  she 
is  simply  sensible,  If  you  think  she  is  straight- 
laced,  it  is  extremely  likely  that  she  is  only 
prudent,  and  you  cannot  with  safety,  even 
though  it  seems  to  you  that  she  is  an  hundred 
years  behind  the  times,  as  you  sometimes  say, 
forget  that  the  fifth  commandment  reads: 
"  Honor  thy  fathrir  and  thy  mother." 

*'  It  is  disheartening,  dear  girls,"  says  Marion 
Harland,   '4et  one  tell  you  who  has  thought 


His 


140         MOTHBR8,  81BTBB8,  DAUGHTERS. 

herself  into  a  dull,  fixed  heartache  on  this  suh- 
ject,  to  be  swept  aside  by  inches,  or  boldly 
removed  from  the  board  where  one  was,  not  so 
very  long  ago,  a  figure  of  some  consequence. 

"  We  mothers,  enriched  by  the  experience  of 
years,  grown  patient  and  wise  through  the  dis- 
cipline of  our  long  probation,  beseech  you  to  be 
charitable  to  our  slowness  and  merciful  to  the 
stiff  movement  of  mental  muscles  that  copy  with 
pain  new  postures  and  paces. 

"Mamma  is  antiquated  in  language  and 
dress;  in  works  and  in  ways  non-progressive. 
Had  she  oh(»en  to  neglect  you  instead  of  her- 
self, had  she  given  to  her  own  studies  and 
mental  cultuie  the  hours  devoted  to  drilling 
you  in  early  tasks,  had  she  kept  pace  with 
society  in  place  of  sitting  out  the  long  evenings 
and  bright  days  in  the  nursery,  had  the  stitches 
set  in  small  frocks,  trousera  and  coats  gone 
toward  furnishing  her  own  wardrobe,  you 
might  have  had    less    apparent   cause  to  be 


a  this  sub- 
,  or  boldly 
vas,  not  80 
iquence. 
perience  of 
gh  the  dis- 
1  you  to  be 
iful  to  the 
t  copy  with 

guage  and 
progressive, 
tead  of  her- 
tudies  and 
to  drilling 
pace  with 
ag  evenings 
the  stitches 
coats  gone 
■drobe,  you 
sause  to  be 


^'T'mmmm^^m 


MOTHEBS,  SISTBB8,  DAUGHTfiBS.         141 

ashamed  of  her.  You  would  undoubtedly,  had 
you  survived  the  process,  have  now  more  and 
just  I'eason  to  blush  for  your  own  defects." 

This  leads  me  to  lay  that  another  good  reason 
for  obeying  the  fifth  commandment  in  letter  and 
in  spirit,  is  that  this  same  mother  has,  for  a 
dozen  or  fifteen  or  twenty  years,  been  making 
every  sacrifice  for  you.  The  young  man  that 
picks  up  your  handkerchief  or  helps  you  over 
a  muddy  crossing,  you  reward  with  a  most 
bewitching  smile  and  profuse  thanks  ;  but  what 
has  he  done  or  what  would  he  sacrifice  for  you  ? 
He  would  hardly  throw  away  the  stump  of  a 
cigar  before  he  was  done  with  it  to  please  you ; 
and  yet,  the  mother  who  has  given  all  but  life 
itself,  and  would  give  that  if  it  was  necessary, 
rarely  sees  such  a  smile  on  your  face,  and  never 
heai-s  such  winning  words  of  thanks  and  appre- 
ciation. Oh  I  these  furrow-browed,  Miiite-haired 
mothers,  whom  I  sometimes  see  treated  so  cava- 
lierly by  blooming  daughters  I   "  If  the  daughtero 


142         M0THBE8,  8I8TBB8,  DAUGHTERS. 


could  only  read  the  lesson  of  these  furrows," 
I  say  to  myself.     Eveiy  wrinkle  tells  of  a 
grinding  sacrifice :  every  white  hair  of  a  sleep- 
less night;     every  angularity  of    form,  of  a 
restless  babyhood,  and  weeks  when  an  anxious 
one  bent  over  a  sick  child  in  the  crib ;  of  days 
of  watching  and  nights  of  unrest;  of  work  in 
the  kitchen  and  the  ceaseless  clatter  of  the 
sewing-machine  treadle.      All  this  story  and 
countless  other  chapters  of  a  similar  tale  are 
written  in  many  a  beautiful  old  face  that  I  have 
seen.    Girk,  look  into  your  mother's  face  and 
see  if  there  is  not  such  a  story  there,  and  if  you 
can  read  it,  that  old  face  will  have  a  beauty  in  it 
that  you  never  suspected  was  there.    Says  the 
author  of  "The  Marriage  Rinpr":  "The  fallen 
at  Chalons  and  Austeriitz  and  Gettysburg  and 
Waterloo  are  a  small  number  compared  with  the 
slain  in  the  great  Armageddon    of    Kitchen. 
You  go  out  to  the  cemetery  and  you  will  see 
that  the  tombstones  all  read  beautifully  and 


"^mm 


IBS. 

I  furrows," 
tells  of  a 
of  a  sleep- 
form,  of  a 
an  anxious 
ib ;  of  days 
of  work  in 
bter  of  the 
story  and 
Lar  tale  are 
that  I  have 
•'s  face  and 
,  and  if  you 
beauty  in  it 
I.    Says  the 
'♦  The  fallen 
ysburg  and 
red  with  the 
of    Kitchen, 
rou  will  see 
utifuUy  and 


MOTHERS,  SISTERS,  DAUGHTERS.         148 

poetically  ;  but  if  those  tombstones  would  speak 
the  truth,  thousands  of  them  would  say,  *  Here 
lies  a  woman  killed  by  too  much  mending  and 
sewing  and  baking  and  scrubbing  and  scouring ; 
the  weapon  with  which  she  was  slain  was  a 
broom  or  a  sewing-machine  or  a  ladle.'  "  There 
is  a  good  deal  of  truth  in  this,  and  I  hope  that 
before  the  cemetery  is  reached,  these  dear 
mothers,  who  have  been  for  a  score  of  years, 
more  or  less,  wearing  themselves  out  for  you, 
will  find  themselves  so  relieved  by  your  loving 
sympathy  and  help,  that  their  last  journey 
through  the  graveyard  gates  will  be  delayed  for 
many  a  long  day. 

There  is  a  single  other  reason  that  I  would 
urge  upon  you  for  this  dutiful-  respect  and 
obedience  which  is  so  charming,  it  is  that  the 
one  who  has  thus  worn  herself  out  for  you  has 
done  it  because  she  lovss  you,  and  love  can 
only  be  satisfied  with  answering  love.  You  are 
starving  your  mother's  heart  when,  by  word  or 


^'«»^5iSfo«) 


144         HOTHEB8,  SI8TEBS,   DAUGHTSRd. 


action,  you  seem  to  deny  her  your  love.    If  she 
was  actually  starving  for  want  of  physical  food 
how  you  would  hasten  to  procure  itl    Every 
penny  that  you  could  earn  or  beg  would  go  for 
this  purpose,  and  you  would  esteem  nothing  too 
hard  to  do  for  her ;  and  yet  I  imagine  that  thei-e 
ara  a  good  many  hungry  hearts  that  are  not  far 
from  starvation  for  lack  of  a  daughter's  love.    A 
word  of  sympathy ;  a  radiant  smile,  just  one  of 
them  saved  from  the  young  man,  and  devoted 
to  the  mother;  some  want  anticipated;  a  kiss 
of  love  ;  an  artless  caress :  all  this  is  food  that 
would  keep  alive  many  a  famished  heai't.    Some 
day,  I  am  sure,  you  will  think  of  these  things. 
I  pray  God  that  it  may  not  be  too  late  to  pro- 
vide this  food  which   keeps  the   heart  from 
starving. 

Some  day  you  will  think  of  her  as  Bishop 
Thompson,  in  his  reminiscences  of  boyhood, 
speaks  of  his  mother.  "•  If  I  seat  myself  upon 
my  cushion,"  he  says,  **  it  is  at  her  side ;  if- 1 


^•nam.mi\mr'^i%u  .vvj^-M.  'h^.v. 


EPJJ. 

ive.    If  she 
tysical  food 
it  I    Every 
}uld  go  for 
nothing  too 
e  that  there 
p  are  not  far 
r's  love.    A 
just  one  of 
md  devoted 
bted;  a  kiss 
Ls  food  that 
eart.    Some 
hese  things, 
late  to  pro- 
heart  from 

r  as  Bishop 
of  hoyhood, 
myself  upon 
ir  side;  if- 1 


MOTHBBS,  BISTKB8,  DAUGHTERS.         145 

sing,  it  is  to  her  ear ;  if  I  walk  the  garden  paths 
or  meadows,  my  little  hand  is  in  my  mother's 
and  my  little  feet  keep  company  with  hei-s ;  if 
I  stand  and  listen  to  the  piano,  it  is  because  my 
mother's  fingers  touch  the  keys;  if  I  survey 
the  wonders  of  creation,  it  is  my  mother  who 
points  out  the  object  of  my  admiring  attention  ; 
if  a  hundi-ed  cannon  pronounce  a  national  salute, 
I  find  myself  clinging  to  her  knees ;  when  my 
heart  bounds  with  its  best  joy,  it  is  because,  at 
the  performance  of  some  task  or  the  recitation 
of  some  verses,  I  receive  a  present  from  her 
hand.  There  is  no  velvet  so  soft  as  a  mother's 
lap,  no  rose  so  lovely  as  her  smile,  no  path  so 
flowery  as  that  imprinted  with  her  footsteps." 

There  is  still  another  relative  of  yours,  young 
ladies,  whom  I  would  ask  you  to  consider. 

You  regard  him  sometimes  as  a  plague  and  a 
nuisance,  T  know ;  but  though  I  admit  that  he 
often  is  most  exasperating,  there  is  a  better 
light  in  which  to  consider  him.    *'That  little 


146         MOTHERS,  SISTERS,  DAUGHTERS. 

brother  of  mine  is  such  a  bother ; "  "  That  big 
brother  is  such  a  tease,"  I  often  hear  some  sister 
say.  In  an  obituary  notice  that  I  once  read,  a 
young  man  was  spoken  of  through  a  bad  mis- 
print as  the  eldest  "  bother  "  of  such  and  such  a 
distinguished  individual.  I  wish  that  these  mis- 
takes and  elisions  of  a  letter  might  occur  only 
at  the  printer's  font  and  never  in  real  life. 

"  Let  sisters  not  begrudge  the  time  and  care 
bestowed  on  a  brother,"  writes  one  whose  pithy 
words  I  have  before  had  occasion  to  quote. 
"It  is  hard  to  believe  that  any  boy  that  you 
know  so  well  as  your  own  brother  can  ever  tui-n 
out  anything  very  useful.  WeU,  he  may  not 
be  a  Moses.  There  is  only  one  of  that  kind 
needed  in  six  thousand  years.  But  I  tell  you 
what,  your  brother  will  be  either  a  blessing  or  a 
curse  to  society,  and  a  candidate  for  happiness 
or  wretchedness.  Don't  snub  him.  Don't  de- 
preciate his  ability.  Don't  talk  discouragingly 
about  his  future.    Don't  tease  him.     Brothers 


j^Biaii 


SR8. 


MOTHBRS,  SISTERS,    DAUGHTERS.         147 


"  That  big 
some  sister 
nee  read, a 
a  bad  tnis- 
and  such  a 
t  these  mis- 
occur  only 
lUfe. 

e  and  care 
^hose  pithy 

to  quote. 
Y  that  you 
,n  ever  tura 
le  may  not 
I  that  kind 

I  tell  you 
leasing  or  a 
r  happiness 

Don't  de- 
Douragingly 
1.     Brothers 


and  sisters  do  not  consider  it  any  harm  to  tease. 
That  spirit  abroad  in  the  family  is  one  of  the 
meanest  and  most  devilish.  There  is  a  teasing 
that  is  pleasurable,  and  is  only  another  form  of 
innocent  raillery ;  but  that  which  provokes  and 
irritates  and  makes  the  eye  flash  with  anger  is 
to  be  reprehended.  It  is  the  curse  of  innumer- 
able households  that  the  brothers  ';ease  the 
sisters,  and  the  sisters  the  brothers.  Sometimes 
it  is  the  color  of  the  hair,  or  the  shape  of  the 
features,  or  an  affair  of  the  heart.  Sometimes 
it  is  by  revealing  a  secret,  or  by  a  suggestive 
look,  or  a  guffaw,  or  an '  Ahem.'  Tease  I  tease ! 
tease !  Christ  says,  'He  that  hateth  his  brother 
is  a  murderer.'  Now  when  you,  by  teasing, 
make  your  brother  or  sister  hate,  you  turn  him 
or  her  into  a  murderer  or  murderess." 

Did  you  ever  think  of  this,  that  probably  that 
brother  whom  you  apparently  think  so  little  of 
is  fully  as  worthy  a  boy  as  that  other  girl's 
brother  whom  you  think  is  "just  nice  "  ?    You 


u\ 


148         MOTHBBS,  SI8TEB8,  DAU0HTRB8. 

do  not  think  that  he  is,  because  you  know  him 
better,  but  probably  there  is  some  other  girl 
who  thinks  at  this  moment  that  he  is  very  near 
perfection,  while  she  has  a  very  moderate  opin- 
ion of  her  own  brother,  whom  you  admire.  It 
would  be  well  if  you  should  exchange  eyes  with 
her  for  a  little  while.  There  is  much  in  your 
own  brother  that  you  have  not  discovei'ed.  He 
is  probably  a  bright,  manly,  courageous  fellow, 
with  all  his  faults,  and  I  know  you  love  him  in 
your  inmost  heart,  but  I  want  to  have  you 
manifest  that  affection  in  more  helpful  ways. 
Do  not  always  pair  off  with  some  other  girl's 
brother ;  do  not  make  your  own  feel  that  he  is 
of  no  account,  and  that  you  cannot  enjoy  your- 
self at  a  party  or  concert  or  lecture  if  ho  is 
the  only  one  who  sits  by  your  side,  and  goes 
home  with  you  afterwards. 

Do  you  know  why  God  has  put  you  in  the 
same  family  and  given  you  a  common  father 
and  mother?    It  did  not  come  so  by  chance, 


,,>VF„tlUl4i' , . 


'KB8. 

I  know  him 
I   other  giii 
is  very  near 
derate  opin- 
admire.    It 
ge  eyes  with 
uch  in  your 
overed.     He 
reous  fellow, 
love  him  in 
o  have  you 
lelpful  ways. 
J  other  girl's 
el  that  he  is 
t  enjoy  your^ 
ture  if  ho  is 
de,  and  goes 

it  you  in  the 
mmon  father 
10  by  chance, 


MOTHKBS,   8I8TEBS,  DAUGHTEBS.         149 

but  that  you  might  exert  a  sisterly  influence 
over  him,  pure  and  sweet  and  wholesome;  an 
influence  that  will  raise  him  out  of  many  a  bog 
in  which  his  coarser,  masculine  nature  may 
otherwise  get  bemired.  Very  much  of  his  true 
success  in  life  will  depend  upon  his  ideal  of 
womanhood.  If  that  ideal  is  exalted,  he  can 
never  become  utterly  debased.  If  that  ideal  is 
low  or  trivial,  he  cannot  rise  very  high  in  the 
scale  of  manhood.  His  ideal  of  womankind 
will  be  very  much  what  you  show  youi-self  to 
be.  You  will  be  his  gauge  and  standard  of 
other  women.  Most  likely  your  heart  will  be 
first  touched  by  divine  truth,  and  will  first 
accept  a  Saviour's  love.  Be  to  him,  then,  such 
an  example  of  maidenly  Christliness  that  he 
cannot  miss  his  way  to  the  cross.  It  was  to 
Lazarus'  sister  that  our  Lord  first  made  the 
joyful  announcement :  "  Thy  brother  shall  rise 
again."  Through  you  the  Lord  will  speak  to 
many  a  brather,  telling  him  to  rise  from  his  sin 


'I 


inifimi  n 


150 


MOTHEB8,  8ISTEB8,  DAC0HTKB8. 


and  begin  the  new  life,  the  true  life  of  a  true 
man.  Let  us  always  bear  in  mind  how  our 
bleased  Lord  dignified  and  exalted  these  earthly 
relationships.  His  mother  Itote  the  name  that 
many  of  you  bear ;  his  dear  friends  were  the 
sisters  of  the  house  of  Bethany ;  he  thought  the 
ruler's  daughter  of  enough  consequence  to  exert 
his  supreme,  miraculous  power,  and  of  the  three 
whom  he  raised  up  to  life  she  was  one,  and  he 
has  said,  "  Whosoever  shall  do  the  will  of  my 
Father  which  is  in  heaven,  the  same  is  my 
brother  and  sister  and  mother." 

1  kno'v  of  no  stronger  appeal  to  make  to  your 
womanly  imfcures.  Because  of  what  He  has  done 
for  you,  because  of  the  honor  He  has  put  upon 
you,  because  of  the  mighty  influence  He  has 
given  you  to  exert,  as  mothers,  daughters, 
sisters,  be  true  to  your  high  calling  in  all  these 
relations  of  life. 

"  Show  us  how  divine  a  thing 
A  woman  may  he  m.-'de." 


iiii-'Cu.-.-f^iiPirirV  - 


TKRS. 

ife  of  a  true 
nd  how  our 
these  earthly 
le  name  that 
ids  were  the 
)  thought  the 
lence  to  exert 
i  of  the  three 
I  one,  and  he 
B  will  of  my 
same  is  my 


CHAPTER  VII. 


THE  QUEOM  ON  UEB  TUBONB. 

Jiu  Summona  to  the  Throne  —  ITow  Prtneeea  Victoria 
teeeived  it — The  TTirone  —  Ml  other  Kingdoma  inaig- 
niflcant  —  Falae  Independence  —  Tlif  Idea  of  Marriage  — 
The  Queen'a  Scepter—  What  ia  Love  f  —  T)^  Teat  of  the 
Oem  —  The  Pleaaant  Oirl  —  The  two  Beara  —  The  Queen'a 
Bobe—Her  Wide  Kingdom— A  aelfiah  Home—  The 
Crown —  Two  Heavena  both  called  Love. 


make  to  your 
t  He  has  done 
las  put  upon 
ence  He  has 
i,  daughters, 
^  in  all  these 

Qg 


l^TEARLY  fifty  years  ago,  one  morning  in 
-*~  ^  June,  two  messengers,  persons  no  less  dis- 
tinguished, indeed,  than  the  Lord  Chamberlain  of 
England,  and  the  Archbishop  of  Canterbury, 
made  their  way  from  Windsor  Palace,  where 
William  the  Fourth  had  just  breathed  his  last,  to 
Kensington  Palace,  where  the  Princess  Victoria 

161 


111: 


152 


THE  QUKEN  ON  HBB  THRONE. 


lived.  Says  the  record,  as  quoted  by  Justin 
McCarthy:  "They  knocked,  they  rang,  they 
thumped  for  a  considerable  time  before  they 
could  rouse  the  porter  at  the  gate;  they  were 
again  kept  waiting  in  the  courtyard,  then 
turned  into  one  of  the  lower  rooms,  where  they 
seemed  forgotten  by  everybody. 

"  They  rang  the  bell,  and  desired  that  the 
attendant  of  the  Princess  Victoria  might  be  sent 
to  inform  Her  Royal  Highness  that  they  re- 
quested an  audience  on  matters  of  importance. 
After  another  delay,  and  another  rinj^'ng  to 
inquire  the  cause,  the  attendant  was  summoned, 
who  stated  that  the  princess  was  in  such  a  sweet 
sleep  that  she  could  not  venture  to  disturb  her. 
Then  they  said, '  We  are  come  on  business  of 
state  to  the  Queen,  and  even  her  sleep  must 
give  way  to  that.' " 

It  did,  and  she  did  not  long   keep  them 
waiting. 

There  comes  such  a  message  to  every  young 


ME. 

by  Justin 

rang,  they 

before  they 
;  they  were 

yard,    then 

where  they 

ed  that  the 

ight  be  sent 

'm!VTx:jf>^W^ws?¥:^<?Z^^U^^W-  : 


at  they  re- 
importance. 

rinj^'.ng  to 

summoned, 

uch  a  sweet 

disturb  her. 

business  of 

sleep  must 

keep  them 
svery  young 


THE  QUEEN   ON    HEIl  THRONE. 


153 


woman.  It  is  not  borne  by  an  archbishop  and 
a  lord  chiimlieilain.  The  result  of  the  mes- 
sage is  not  breathlessly  awaited  by  an  expectant 
nation.  There  are  no  booming  cannon  and 
blazing  l)onfires  to  tell  that  another  queen  has 
come  to  her  throne;  but  nevertheless,  such  a 
mesi^age  goes  forth  from  One  higher  in  author- 
ity than  any  messenger  of  church  or  state.  It 
comes  not  simply  to  one  favored  young  person 
in  a  century,  who  lives  in  a  palace,  but  to  every 
young  woman  who  will  hear  comes  this  com- 
mand from  God:  "Be  a  queen.  Take  your 
place  on  your  throne.  Assume  the  scepter ; 
clothe  yourself  in  royal  «rmine.  A  crown  will 
at  last  be  placed  on  your  brow."  As  the  Prin- 
cess Victoria  w^as  asleep  when  the  message  first 
came  to  her  that  she  was  henceforth  Queen  of 
England,  so  I  fear  many  are  asleep  to  great 
privilege  and  opportunity  ;  and  I  pray  God  that 
lihis  book  may  have  some  power  to  arouse 
them  to  a  sense  of  their  high  calling.    As  soon 


I 


154     THE  QUEEN  ON  HER  THRONE. 


as  the  princess  heard  that  she  was  a  queen,  she 
could  sleep  no  longer.  If  I  could  only  show 
you,  young  women,  your  worth  and  dignity, 
you  would  lay  aside  everything  that  was  un- 
worthy, and  would  assume  the  queenly  honors 
that  are  rightly  yours. 

Of  cQurse  you  know  what  I  mean.  Your 
queenly  honors  are  not  bestowed  by  the  powere 
and  ceremonies  of  a  court;  they  are  not  incon- 
sistent with  washing  dishes  in  the  kitchen,  or 
sweeping  in  the  parlor,  or  tying  little  Johnnie's 
shoes,  or  running  on  an  errand  for  the  tired 
mother,  or  hunting  up  the  dressing-gown  and 
slippers  for  father.  In  short,  the  throne  to 
which  I  would  be  the  messenger  to  call  you  is 
in  the  home. 

In  England,  but  one  supreme  monarch  can 
ruU'  at  the  same  time.  Not  till  the  old  king 
drew  his  last  breath  could  Victoria  assume  her 
new  honors  ;  but,  though  there  are  ten  millions 
of  queens  in  America,  there  is  room  for  ten  mil- 


ipili 


^k:-i-jTJ'My^:J 


>NB. 


TH£  QUE]^N  ON  HEB  THRONE. 


155 


b  queen,  she 
only  show 
,nd  dignity, 
[lat  was  un- 
enly  honors 

jean.  Your 
the  powers 
e  not  incon- 
I  kitchen,  or 
le  Johnnie's 
or  the  tired 
g-gown  and 
d  throne  to 
»  call  you  is 

nonarch  can 
he  old  king 
assume  her 
ten  millions 
1  for  ten  mil- 


lions more.  Though  in  the  home  where  you 
live  some  gracious  queen  has  reigned  long  and 
benignantly,  you  will  not  crowd  her  off  by  tak- 
ing your  seat  on  the  same  throne.  There  is  a 
chance  for  every  royal  character  in  this  kingdom 
of  home.  You  will  not  accuse  me  of  narrowness 
of  view,  I  am  sure,  or  of  hostility  to  woman's 
highest  lights,  when  I  say  that,  after  all,  your 
supreme  place  of  influence  is  in  the  home. 
First  cultivate  yourself  as  a  human  being. 
Recognize  your  rights,  remember  the  vastness 
of  your  influence,  train  yourselves  for  the  ligh- 
est  places ;  this  has  been  the  burden  of  m}i  de- 
sire for  you  ;  and  yet,  while  I  hold  to  all  this, 
and  abate  not  a  jot,  I  also  I)elieve  that  your 
throne  is  in  the  home,  that  there  alone  you  may 
exercise  your  highest  powers,  your  queenliest 
i  luence.  The  realm  of  authorship  is  open  to 
you,  to  the  lecture  platform  you  may  aspire,  the 
highest  places  in  almost  all  the  professions  are 
no   longer   walled   away  from   the    ambitious 


nam 


156 


THE  QUESN  ON  HBR  THBOKB. 


woman,  yet  it  is  no  less  true  now  than  when 
Sarah  made  Abraham's  tent  a  true  home  for 
him,  or  Rebecca  oame  from  Padan  Aram  on 
camel-back  to  make  Isaac's  home  happy,  that 
the  home  is  woman's  throne. 

Whatever  opportunities  the  future  may  open 
to  you  and  your  sisters  —  and  I  believe  that  they 
will  be  large  and  abundant — all  other  realms  will 
be  petty  and  insignificant,  compared  with  the 
kingdom  which  you  may  rule  from  thi»  tiirone. 
Let  me  call  your  attention  to  the  opinion  of 
some  of  your  best  and  wisest  f liends  on  this  sub- 
ject. "The  quiet  home  virtues  need  strength- 
ening," says  one.  ''Our  colleges  and  other 
educational  institutions  are  doing  a  great  work 
in  furnishing  the  army  to  fight  the  battles  of 
life  and  to  help  make  lovely  homes,  too ;  but  is 
there  not  danger,  in  this  progressive  age,  of  for- 
getting somewhat  those  homely  domestic  vir- 
tues, which  help  so  truly  to  make  up  the  blessed- 
ness of  life  ?  " 


^<8-«tl>W<iii» 


i'irilia<ifatna 


THS  QUEEN  ON  HSB  THBONK. 


167 


an  when 
iiome  for 
A^ram  on 
ppy,  that 

may  open 
that  they 
3alms  will 

with  the 
i»  throne, 
pinion  of 
1  this  sub- 

strength- 
ind  other 
rreat  work 
battles  of 
00 ;  but  is 
ige,  of  for- 
nestic  vir- 
he  blessed- 


Let  me  call  your  particular  attention  to  these 
thoughts  which  I  am  about  to  quote  from  one 
with  whose  graceful  pen  many  of  you  are  famil- 
iar :  "  The  points  of  womanly  character,  which, 
in  ray  opinion,  most  need  strengthening,  are 
most  emphatically  the  home  qualities.  I  must 
confess  that  I  am  alarmed  as  I  read  exhorta- 
tions week  after  week  in  the  papers  for  girls 
*to  take  care  of  themselves,'  to  be  *  independ- 
ent,' etc.  You  are  aware  that  there  are  scores 
and  scores  of  American  homes  throughout  the 
land  where  the  father  earns  only  a  moderate 
living,  and  where  the  daughters  are  restless  to 
go  out  in  the  world  and  earn  something.  They 
are  not  willing  to  stay  in  the  home  and  econo- 
mize and  plan  to  make  it  attractive  to  father 
and  brothers,  nor  to  train  themselves  to  be 
really  efficient  in  domestic  matters. 

"  Most  of  them  prefer  to  spend  part  of  their 
wages  in  hiring  a  servant  to  do  the  kitchen 
work  if  necessary,  and  go  into  a  shop  or  mill. 


168 


THE  QUEEN  ON  HER  TRBOKB. 


They  feel  more  ^  independent ' ;  and  just  here  I 
am  reminded  to  remark  that  if  girls  must  go 
out  into  the  world,  and  enter  into  the  struggle 
for  bread,  do  let  them  be  taught  the  value  of 
saving.  It  is  a  long  step  toward  preserving  a 
girl's  virtue,  when  she  takes  more  satisfaction 
in  seeing  two  doUara  entered  against  her  name 
in  a  bank  account  than  in  spending  that  amount 
for  brass  bangles  and  false  frizzes.  But  let  the 
prime  end  and  object  of  the  saving  be  for  the 
making  of  a  home  for  somebody,  somewhere,  at 
some  time.  It  has  become  the  fashion  in  late 
yeara  to  decry  thinking  about  marriage  as  the 
principal  thing  in  a  girl's  life.  Doubtless  there 
has  been  much  false  teaching  on  this  point,  and 
unfortunately  there  are  too  many  women  who 
have  allowed  themselves  to  deteriorate  mentally 
and  socially  by  getting  married ;  and  the  pres- 
ent tendency  to  educate  girls  away  from  the 
idea  of  marriage  may  b&  the  pendulum  swing- 
ing to  the  other  extreme. 


THK  QUEEN  ON  HER   THRONE. 


159 


ust  here  I 
must  go 
3  struggle 
J  value  of 
iserving  a 
atisfaction 
her  name 
at  amount 
3ut  let  the 
be  for  the 
lewhere,  at 
ion  in  late 
age  as  the 
»tle3S  there 
point,  and 
romen  who 
te  mentally 
i  the  pres- 
J  from  the 
lum  swing- 


"  But  would  it  not  be  better  to  elevate  the 
idea  of  marriage  as  the  highest  possible  sphere 
which  a  woman  can  fill?  Oh,  if  girls  could 
find  theu-  supreme  joy,  not  in  things,  but  in 
people,  not  in  adding  to  their  accomplishments 
and  attainments,  except  as  a  means  to  influence 
souls  for  good ! 

"Men  are  the  natural  bread-winnera  in  this 
world;  women  are  the  natural  makers  of  the 
homes.  Fathers  and  sons  and  brothers  would 
labor  with  far  more  zeal  and  success  if  the 
mothers  and  daughters  and  sisters  would  spend 
their  energies  in  making  home  attractive.  The 
men  do  not  mind  hard  knocks  much  if  they  can 
go  home  at  the  close  of  a  day's  service  to  a 
haven  of  rest  and  comfort,  such  as  only  a 
woman's  love  and  tact  can  make.  All  this  can 
not  be  secured,  however,  without  character.  A 
girl  may  have  a  very  lofty  ideal  m  to  what  a 
home  ought  to  be;  but  for  carrying  out  her 
ideal  she  must  possess  the  qualities  of  sweet- 


160 


THE  QUEEM  ON  HBK  THRONE. 


ness  and  patience,  and  tact  and  grace,  and  cheer- 
fulness and  efficiency,  and  a  thousand  other 
qualities  not  needed  in  any  other  position.  A 
very  ordinary  girl  may  possibly  succeed  as  a 
copyist  or  an  elocutionist  or  a  saleswoman ; 
but  it  takes  a  very  extraordinary  person  to 
make  the  highest  success  of  that  most  difficult 
and  grandest  of  all  arts  —  making  a  true 
home." 

This  is  a  long  quotation,  but  these  words  are 
packed  so  full  of  wisdom  that  I  have  given  this 
letter  to  you  almost  entire. 

The  queen,  as  a  symbol  of  her  power,  on  oc- 
casions of  state  bears  a  scepter  in  her  hand. 
There  is  a  right  royal  scepter,  too,  which  I 
would  put  into  your  hand  —  the  scepter  of  love. 
There  is  none  other  so  potent.  The  Queen  of 
England's  scepter  is  made  of  silver  gilt,  or,  at 
the  best,  of  pure  gold ;  your  scepter  is  one  of 
which  pure  gold  is  only  a  symbol.  The  queen 
lays  hers  aside  on  ordinary  occasions,  and  it  is 


B. 


THK  QUEEN  ON  HER  THRONE. 


161 


and  cheer- 
ind  other 

sition.    A 

• 
ceed  as  a 

eswoman ; 

person   to 

it  difficult 

g    a    true 

words  are 
given  this 

«rer,  on  oc- 
her  hand. 
),  which  I 
ter  of  love. 
)  Queen  of 
gilt,  or,  at 
r  is  one  of 
The  queen 
s,  and  it  is 


locked  up  in  the  jewel-room  for  sti*angers  to 
gape  at  behind  the  bars  which  guard  it ;  your 
scepter  need  never  be  laid  aside,  for  it  is  not 
simply  the  jeweled  symbol  of  power,  but  it  is 
power  itself  —  the  power  of  love. 

"  What  is  love^"  says  one ;  '*a  weak,  gushing, 
effiisive  quality,  that  makes  the  weakness  of 
women?"  Nay,  love  is  rest ;  it  is  warmth,  com- 
fort, nourishment,  strength,  home  ;  it  is  life ;  it 
is  the  omnipotence  of  God.  As  the  head  has 
no  life  till  the  heart  quickens  it,  so  wisdom  is 
not  wise  until  love  informs  it. 

Love,  let  us  remember,  is  something  more 
than  a  sentiment.  Here  is  where  the  fatal  mis- 
take is  most  often  made  in  domestic  life.  The 
sentiment  and  poetry  of  love  is  all  very  well  in 
its  ]:ilace.  I  would  not  decry  it  or  undervalue 
it,  but  I  say  that  it  is  altogether  worthless  if  it 
cannot  stand  the  test  of  the  wear  and  tear  of 
©very  day. 

Here  is  a  sparkling  gem.    How  it  glitters 


162 


THK  QUEKN  ON   HEK  THRONE. 


and  glistens  ;  what  depths  of  fire  there  seem  to 
be  iu  its  heart !  But  we  have  heard  tliat  cer- 
tain persons  have  been  very  successful  in  im- 
itating diamonds  and  rubies,  and  we  are  a  little 
suspicious  of  our  gem,  bo  we  will  take  it  to  the 
jeweler's.  "  How  much  is  this  worth  ? "  we 
say  to  him.  He  ope  ns  a  little  vial  and  drops  a 
single  })article  of  acid  on  the  jewel,  and  behold 
the  sparkle  dies  out  of  it,  and  the  simulated  fire 
in  its  heart  is  quenched,  and  we  see  that  it  is  a 
worthless  bit  of  paste.  But  if  it  is  a  real  gem 
the  acid  rolls  off  like  so  much  water,  and  in  its 
inmost  heart  it  sparkles  as  brightly  as  ever. 
There  is  an  acid  about  the  every-day  experi- 
ences of  life  which  always  shows  the  difference 
between  real  love  and  sentimental  love. 

The  girl  that  will  look  as  sweet  as  an  angel 
when  ii  certai  i  young  man  makes  his  appear- 
ance at  the  parlor-door,  and  who  will  scowl  like 
a  fiend  when,  the  next  hour,  her  mother  asks 
her  to  dust  the  parlor  furniture  —  her  love  is 


*illiMiA>iiij<iili*iii1iii'w<riiifl>>.  ■ 


■taiiiiiiiii'iiijtia'  III  w  tMitmhtamiiittmim  ■ 


1 


m 


THE  QUEKN  ON  HEE  THRONE. 


163 


e  seem  to 
.  tliHt  cer- 
ful  in  im- 
ire  a  little 
e  it  to  the 
rth?"  we 
d  drops  a 
nd  behold 
ulated  fire 
;hat  it  is  a 

real  gem 
,  and  in  its 
y  as  ever, 
ay   experi- 

difference 
^e. 

s  an  angel 
his  appear- 

scowl  like 
tother  asks 
her  love  is 


made  of  paste;  it  isn't  the  genuine  article.  The 
one  who  will  spend  a  week  working  a  pair  of 
siispendei-s  and  a  fancy  hat-band  for  her  lover, 
and  snap  out  something  about  "bothersome 
brothers,"  when  one  who  is  thus  related  merely 
asks  her  to  sew  on  a  coat-button,  may  glitter 
and  sparkle  before  marriage,  but  1  should  be 
afraid  the  first  acid  drop  in  life's  cup  after  mar- 
riage would  spoil  the  illusion  and  forever  dim 
the  sparkle.  The  apostle's  rule  for  testing  faith 
applies  equally  well  to  faith's  twin  virtue,  love ; 
show  me  thy  love  without  thy  works,  and  I  will 
show  thee  my  love  by  my  works. 

Let  me  wliisper  this  word  iu  your  ear,  my 
young  friends :  The  sensible  young  man,  the  one 
who  will  make  a  good  husbiind,  thinks  a  great 
deal  more  than  you  are  apt  to  suppose  of  good- 
nature and  sweetness  of  disposition,  and  these, 
when  genuine,  are  only  the  habitual  expression 

of  love. 

"  How  does  she  treat  her  mother  ?  "    "  How 


164 


THE  QUEEN  ON   HEU  TUKDNE. 


does  she  speak  to  her  little  brothers  and  sisters?" 
"  How  does  she  treat  even  the  dumb  dog  and 
kitten  on  the  hearth-rug?"  Those  are  ques- 
tions which  he  asks  himself  about  you,  if  he  is 
wise,  and  he  is  always  a*,  .trering  them  as  he 
sees  how  you  live. 

You  think  he  admires  only  the  pink  cheek 
and  sparkling  eye  and  the  lithe  figure  and  the 
new  gown  and  brave  bonnet,  but  I  tell  you,  the 
young  man  is  not  quite  such  a  simpleton,  after 
all.  He  knows  that  a  pink  cheek,  pretty  as  it 
is  to  look  at,  may  become  very  unlovely  when 
flushed  with  pettishness  or  anger,  and  that  out 
of  cherry  lips  may  come  most  rasping  and  irri- 
tating chatter,  that  may  make  his  whole  life 
miserable.  This  young  man  often  hns  a  jood 
deal  more  sense  than  you  give  him  ciedit  for ; 
and  gentle,  lovable,  equable  good-nature  are 
qualities  which  make  the  homeliest  face  and 
figure  beautiful. 
I  have  recently  read  in  some  newspaper,  that 


(1  sisters?" 
b  dog  and 
are  ques- 
)U,  if  he  is 
iiem  as  he 

)ink  cheek 
re  and  the 
11  you,  the 
leton,  after 
)retty  as  it 
)vely  when 
d  that  out 
g  and  irri- 
whole  life 
fc'ds  a  2ood 
ciedit  for; 
nature  are 
t  face  and 

spaper,  that 


THE  QUEEN  ON   HRE  THRONE. 


166 


a  traveler  in  Norway,  a  short  time  ago,  carae  to 
a  village  early  one  morning,  and  was  struck  by 
the  air  of   gloom  which  pervaded  the  streets. 
Unable  to  speak  a  word  of  the  language,  he 
could  II' )t  ask  the  cause  of  this,  and  concluded 
that  some  sickness  or  financial  trouble  had  fallen 
upon  the  community.    Ah  the  day  wore  on  to- 
ward noon,  however,  the  houses  were  closed; 
shop-windows  werj  covered  ;  all  trade  and  busi- 
ness ceased.     "It  is  death,  then,"  he  said  to 
himself.     Presently  he  saw  the  people  gathering 
for  the  funeral.     There  were  the  village  official, 
the  nobleman   from   the    neighboring   chfiteau, 
and  apparently  every  man,  woman  and  child  in 
the  village.     It  must  be  some  dignitary  of  the 
cburch  who  is  dead,  or  some  county  official. 
A":  'je  AU)d  watching  the  crowds  passing  down 
a  lit*  p  ru-iKy  street,  he  caught  sight  of  the  face 
of  a  Ff.'i  jhman  known  to  him.     He  beckoned 
h'H  t:.   him.     "  The  town  has  lost  some  great 
magnafcB  apparently?"    "  Ah,  no!     It  is  only  a 


' 


166 


THE  QUEEN  ON  HEB  THRONE. 


maiden  who  is  dead.  No,  she  was  not  rich  or 
beautiful.  But,  oh  I  such  a  pleasant  girl,  mon- 
sieur. All  the  world  seems  darker  now  that 
she  is  gone."  Was  not  that  a  funeral  fit  for  a 
queen  ? 

"  I  would  give  nothing  for  that  man's  religion 
whose  very  dog  and  cat  were  not  the  better  for 
it,"  says  Rowland  Hill.  I  would  give  little  for 
those  womanly  graces  and  attractions  which  did 
not  make  happier  those  within  their  influence. 

It  requires  a  vast  amount  of  sweetness  to 
make  the  bitter  cup  of  life  tolerable,  and  mei-e 
beauty  and  outward  grace  cannot  accomplish 
much  in  this  direction,  any  more  than  an  ex- 
quisite cup  of  wedgewood  can  make  tolerable 
the  bitter  wormwood  it  contains.  You  have  all 
heard  of  the  two  bears  which  the  wise  minister 
advisee  the  newly  married  couple  to  keep  con- 
stantly in  their  home,  bear  and  for-bear.  There 
are  othei-s  besides  newly  married  couples  that 
need  to  keep  these  same  bears  in  the  home. 


MP^iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 


ot  rich  or 
girl,  mon- 
now  that 

A  fit  for  a 

I's  religion 

better  for 
e  little  for 

which  did 
Dfiuence. 
eetness  to 

and  mere 
Eiccomplish 
lan  an  ex- 
e  tolerable 
>u  have  all 
)e  minister 

keep  con- 
ar.  There 
>uples  that 
home. 


THE  QUEBiN  ON  HEB  THKONB. 


167 


"If  you  are  a  Baptist  and  your  wife  is  a 
Pedobaptist,"  says  Dr.  Talmage,  "  don't  go  to 
splashing  water  in  each  other's  faces !  If  you 
are  a  Presbyterian  and  your  husband  is  a  Metho- 
dist, when  he  shouts  '  Hallelujah'  don't  get  ner- 
vous." And  then  he  appropriately  quotes  Cow- 
per's  stanza : 

"  The  kindest  and  the  happiest  pair 
Will  find  occasion  to  forbear; 
And  something  every  day  they  live, 
To  pity  and  perhaps  forgive.  " 

That  a  man  married  to  a  woman  who  never 
Consults  his  comfort  and  taste,  and  who  does 
not  keep  herself  as  attractive  after  marriage  as 
before  marriage,  that  such  a  man  does  not  stay 
at  home  from  the  club,  he  goes  on  to  say,  is  no 
wonder.  "  It  is  a  wonder  that  such  a  man  does 
not  go  on  a  whaling  voyage  of  three  years,  in  a 
leaky  ship." 

The  queen's  robe  on  state  occasions  is  made 


r 


168 


THK  QUEEN  ON  HER  THRONE. 


of  or  tnanMd  wrCfi  ermine,  which  is  regarded 
as  emblematic  of  puiity.  Let  a  character  of 
spotless  purity  and  holiness  clothe  you  as  with 
a  garment  as  you  wield  the  scepter  of  love  on 
the  throne  of  home. 

"Reverence  and  love  for  the  character  and 
Word  of  God,  with  earnest  faith,  that  will  give 
courage  to  obey  and  patient  continuance  to 
well-doing,"  is  what  you  need,  writes  one  of 
your  friends. 

"I  think  the  danger  with  young  people," 
writes  another,  "  is  in  being  conformed  to  the 
things  of  the  world ;  having  a  fear  of  being 
strict  and  singular,  they  yield  too  quickly  to  thd 
world's  opinion,  thus  losing  the  power  for  good 
which  they  might  exert  were  they  firm  in  their 
determination  to  do  right,  whatever  the  world 

may  say." 

I  have  scores  of  just  such  messages  for  you 
from  loving  hearts  that  have  seen  clear  into 
the  core  of  this  matter. 


regarded 
aracter  of 
u  as  with 
»f  love  on 

racter  and 

will  give 

nuance  to 

bes  one  of 

5  people," 
led  to  the 
of  being 
ickly  to  tha 
Br  for  good 
rm  in  their 
•  the  world 

rea  for  you 
clear  into 


THE  QUBEN  ON  HER  THRONE. 


169 


As  it  is  the  queen's  prerogative  to  wear  the 
ermine,  so  it  is  yours  to  be  clothed  with  these 
Christian  graces  —  humility,  modesty,  purity  ; 
they  will  make  any  face  and  ^ore  attractive 
and  lovable,  and  a»  you  go  through  life,  though 
you  may  apparently  attract  very  little  attention, 
yet  all  true  men  and  women,  as  they  see  you, 
will  say  to  themselves  'r  their  inmost  hearts, 
"  There  is  a  queen,  and  ciie  is  clothed  in  right 
royal  apparel." 

Again,  make  your  kingdom  as  wide  as  pos- 
sible. Queen  Victoria  does  not  rule  over  one 
little  island  alone.  Canada,  Australia,  India 
and  much  of  Africa  acknowledge  her  sway. 

The  influences  of  a  good  home  can  never  be 
confined  within  four  walls.  If  you  are  a  true 
queen,  however  humble  you  may  account  youi^ 
self,  a  thousand  unconscious  subjects  will  be 
blessed  by  your  rule.  The  Queen  of  England 
has  never  seen  one  in  a  thousand  of  her  people, 
but  there  is  not  one  of  them  all  who  is   not 


170     THE  QUEEN  ON  HER  THKONE. 

l)etter  and  happier  because  a  pure,  noble  woman 
Bite  upon  the  throne.     You  can  selfishly  use  the 
best  blessings  that  God  ever  conferred  upon 
men,  and  you  can  use  your  home,  even,  for 
your  own  selfish  gratification,  making  of   it  a 
social  and  exclusive  club  for  two  or  three  or 
half  a  dozen,  and  never  thinking  of  the  wide 
realm  which  it  is  your  duty  to  bless.    It  is 
necessary  to  have  a  central  tie  8ome^vhere,  to  be 
sure;  to  have  a  throne  somewhere;   some  one 
home  from  which  these  good  ...flnences  ema- 
nate ;  but  it  is  no  more  possible  for  the  true 
queen  of  a  home  to  keep  altogether  within  her 
own  four  walls  than  it  is  for  the  suu  to  shine  all 
to  itself,   without   distributing   its   light   and 
warmth  to  half  a  score  of  distant  planets. 

"  You  cannot  always  sit  on  your  husband's 

knee,"  says  your  good  friend,  Titcomb,  "  for  in 

.     the  first  place  it  would  tire  him,  and  in  the 

second  place  he  would  get  sick  of  it.    .    .     • 

I  am  acquainted  with  too  many  husbands  and 


THE  QUBE»  CN  HBK  THRONE. 


171 


ONE. 

noble  woman 
.fishly  use  the 
aferied  upon 
nae,  even,  for 
iking  of   it  a 
>  or  three  or 
r  of  the  wide 
bless.    It  is 
newhere,  to  be 
ire ;  some  one 
..fluences  ema- 
e  for  the  true 
xer  within  her 
luu  to  shine  all 
Its    light    and 
planets, 
^rour  husband's 
tcomb,  "  for  in 
im,  and  in  the 
c  of  it. 
y  husbands  and 


wives  who,  though  all  the  world  to  each  other, 
are  nothing  to  the  world.  They  gather  com- 
forts about  them,  they  bear  dainties  to  each 
other's  lips,  they  live  and  move  and  have  their 
whole  being  in  each  other's  love,  and,  shutting 
out  all  the  world,  live  only  for  themselves.  It 
is  not  unjust  to  say  that  this  is  one  of  the  most 
dangerous  and  most  repulsive  forms  of  home 
life.  It  is  selfishness,  doubled,  associated,  in- 
stituted ;  and  it  deserves  serious  treatment." 

Many  a  lovely  queen  needs  to  take  these 
words  to  heart  and  enlarge  her  realm,  not  by 
dangling  for  lovers  and  seeking  to  bind  a  throng 
of  personal  admirers  to  her  conquering  chariot 
wheels,  but  by  letting  the  sweet  home  influences 
of  which  she  is  the  center  stream  out  into  the 
phllly  atinosplHM'H  of  the  w//»ld,  upon  the  crowd 
of  homeless  ones  around  her.  You  who  have 
beautiful  homes,  where  plenty  reigns  and  love 
decks  every  hour  with  flowers,  remember  the 
throng  of  homeless  young  men  and  women  who 


r 


172 


THE  QUEEN   ON    HER   THRONE. 


walk  our  streets,  and  to  whom  a  glimpse  of  such 
a  home  as  yours  would  be  a  glimpse  of  heaven 
itself. 

You  can  be  as  selfish  with  the  comforts  of 
your  home  as  the  veiiest  miser  counting  his 
gold.  At  the  bar  ot  God  you  will  have  to  ac- 
count for  this  talent  —  the  art  of  home-making 
—  and  for  making  the  sweet  radiance  of  that 
home  shine  the  furthest  in  this  naughty  world. 

We  have  talked  about  woman's  throne,  her 
scepter,  her  ermine,  her  wide  kingdom — I  need 
hardly  remind  you  that  there  is  a  crown  for  her 
too.  It  does  not  visibly  sparkle  upon  her  brow, 
it  cannot  be  weighed  in  a  jeweler's  scales,  but 
it  is  no  less  real  than  Queen  Victoria's,  because 
less  tangible  than  hers. 

To  every  one  of  you,  with  your  rare  and 
blessed  opportunities  to  brighten  and  sweeten 
and  gladden  the  world  through  the  homes  of 
which  God  has  made  you  queens,  to  every  one 
of  you  come  the  solemn  words  i"f  the  Son  of 


THE  QUEEN  ON  HBB  THRONE. 


173 


e  of  such 
f  heaven 

n  forts  of 
nting  his 
ve  to  ac- 
e-making 
J  of  that 
ty  world, 
irone,  her 
—  I  need 
rn  for  her 
her  brow, 
icales,  but 
i,  because 


God :  "  Be  thou  faithful  unto  death,  and  I  will 
give  thee  a  crown  of  life."  "  Hold  that  fast 
that  thou  hast,  that  no  man  take  thy  crown." 

There  is  no  cheap  and  easy  process  for  turn- 
ing out  queenly  character,  as  clothes-pins  are 
made  by  the  gross.  The  loving  friend,  the 
helpful  daughter,  the  patient  sister,  the  good- 
natured,  peace-loving  schoolgirl,  makes  the 
queenly  home-maker,  and  such  a  one,  whether 
married  or  single,  always  finds  her  throne. 

"  The  earth  waits  for  her  queen."  God  calls 
for  queenly  characters.  Answer  this  demand ; 
humanity  needs  you,  young  women.  Respond 
to  this  call,  for  you  can  do  much  to  prove  to 
the  world  that — 


rare  and 

1  sweeten 

homes  of 

every  one 

he  Son  of 


"  There  arc  two  heavens, 
Both  made  of  love  — one  Inconceivable 
Even  by  the  other,  so  divine  It  Is; 
The  other  far  on  this  side  the  stars, 
By  men  called  Home." 


<ien 


■i 


D.   LOTHROP  COMPANY'S 


BAILY  (Rev.  Thomas  L.). 

POSSIBILITIES.     i2mo,  1.25. 

The  author  sivM  at  the  opennig  the  pictun  of  >  country  Tillase  ichool  which, 
through  lack  oftaci  atid  knowledge  on  the  part  o(  teachers  and  of  intered  on  ih* 
part  nf  pareiili,  had  become  almott  worthlett.  A  new  teacher,  with  a  mind  and 
method  of  her  own,  in  enftaged  for  a  term,  and  ihe  sets  at  work  with  a  determination 
to  revolutionize  the  exiating  condition  of  iningt.  It  requires  a  good  deal  of  tact  and 
management  to  eniisi  parents  and  pupils  in  her  plans,  but  site  does  it  by  quiet  persist- 
ence, and  the  end  of  the  term  tees  not  only  a  remarkable  change  in  the  school,  but  in 
Ihe  village  itself. 


"  As  a  general  rule  novels  with  a  pur- 
pose are  dry  reading.    There  are  brilliant 

ONLY  MB.     i2mo,  1.25. 

"  We  are  taken  back  to  the  days  when 
the  watchman  n  ade  his  nightly  rounds 
to  call  the  hour  and  the  state  oi  the 
weather.  On  his  return  from  one  of 
these  rounds  on  a  snnwy  night,  a  good- 
hearted  watchman  finds  a  little  fellow 
half  starved  and  half  froien,  crouched 
against  the  little  sentiy-box  in  whidi  he 
iTmaelf  found  shelter  between  his  roundi. 


exceptions,  however,  and  one  of  these  ii 
*  Pouibilitie*.  '"  —  A  Itatiy  A  rgtu. 


The  boy  is  taken  home  by  the  v'atchman, 
and  the  story  follows  him  through  early 
years  and  through  his  c  perleiice  as  bound 
boy  on  a  farm,  and  h  .  subsequent  start- 
ing in  life  in  a  store  in  the  ciiy  whete  he 
rises  to  l>e  confidential  clerk  and  at  last 
paitner  in  the  firm." — Natumai  Ba^ 
tut,  Pbila. 


BAKER  (Ella  M.). 

CLOVER  LEAVES  :    A  collection  of  Poems.    Compiled  and 
arranged  by  iC.  G.  B.     ismo,  cloth,  i.oo;  gilt  edges,  1.25. 

A  brief  memoir  tells  the  story  of  the  short  life  of  the  young  poet. 

which  it  appeals. " — Springfitld  Kt^tA- 
licaH. 
"  One  rises  from  the  perusal  of  thes* 


"The  author  of  these  poems  was 
possessed,  of  the  rarest  loveliness  of  per- 
lon  and  character,  and  she  has  left  behind 
jer  a  memory  fragrant  with  blessing. 
tier  verse  was  the  natural  outcome  of 
icr  beautiful  soul ;  its  exceeding  delicacy 
and  sweetness  are  sufiicient  to  charm  all 
who  have  the  answering  sentiment  to 


poems  with  the  feePinc  of  having  been 
brought  very  near  10  a  Christian  woman's 
heart,  and  of  having  cau^  >t  the  utter- 
ances of  a  truly  devout  spirit.  "^^0n«- 
tug'  Star. 


SOLDIER  AND  SERVANT.     i2mo,  1.25. 


"  A  pretty  and  helpful  story  of  girl 
ife.  Six  or  seven  girls  band  themselves 
.ogether  to  cultivate  their  talents  in  the 
Dest  possible  manner,  and  to  let  their 
ight  shine  whenever  and  wherever  thev 
an.  The  girls  varv  greatly,  but  each 
one  is  determined  to  do  her  best  wiih  the 
iiaterial  that  the   Lord  has  given  her. 

SEVEN   EASTER   LILIES. 


Their  several  successes  and  failures  are 
told,  and  many  lessons  are  drawn  from 
their  work."  —  Goidtu  Ritlr,  Boston. 

"  The  book  is  remarkably  entertain- 
ii\g,  sensible  and  spiritually  stimulating. 
It  IS  the  best  book  of  the  kind  that  we 
have  seen  in  many  moDlha."  — C«iv*v 
gatioMalist. 


i2mo,  1.25. 

A  story  for  girls,  pure,  sweet,  and  full  of  encouragement,  and  calculated  to  exert  a 
strong  influence  for  good.  The  author  feels  that  there  is  somethinf;  peculiarly 
sacred  and  tender  about  Easter  lilies,  partly,  perhaps,  from  their  assuciation  with  the 
day  and  season  whose  name  they  bear  The  story  tells  what  became  of  seven  lilies 
which  were  tended  by  as  many  different  hands  in  different  homes,  and  how  the/ 
affected  those  homes  by  the  silent  lessons  they  taught. 

CHRISTMAS   PIE  STORIES.    i2mo,  illustrated,  1.25. 

Never  was  such  a  Christmas  pie  before,  nor  such  plums !  Not  one,  but  seven  Jack 
Homer  pulled  out  of  that  pie,  and  every  plum  was  a  Christmas  story  told  by  each 
member  of  the  family  from  prandma  down.  The  wonderfnl  pie  lost  nothing  in  b»in' 
warmed  over  for  Aunt  Moneywort  who  was  too  ill  to  Im  at  the  feast. 


''  '4gi^^.-  J^lSih^i^^^ 


5e  ichool  which) 
interest  on  ih« 


wiiji  a  mind  and 
:h  a  determination 
d  deal  of  tact  and 
it  by  quiet  persist- 
the  uhool,  but  in 

nd  one  ol  these  ■■ 
lutny  Argui 


I  by  the  watchman, 
him  through  early 
perience  as  bound 
.  subsequent  start- 
i  the  city  whete  he 
1  clerk  and  at  last 
—Naiimtal  Bap- 


Compiled  and 
.25. 

\priHcfitld  RtftA- 

le  perusal  of  thes* 
iif;  of  having  been 
Christian  woman's 
cau;t)t  the  utter- 
it  spirit."  —  Mtrn- 


es  and  failures  ara 
IIS  are  drawn  from 
N  Rult,  Boston, 
larkably  eniertain- 
ntually  stimulating, 
if  the  kind  that  we 
lonths. "  —  CtHgri- 


niculated  to  exert  a 
iiieihinf;  peculiarly 
issociation  with  the 
:ame  of  seven  lilies 
nes,  and  how  they 

rated,  1.25. 

one,  but  seven  Jack 
I  story  told  by  each 
osl  nothing  in  b*in' 

Mt. 


SELECT  LIST  OF   BOOKS. 


BABYLAND. 

BOUND   VOLUMES.     Edited  by  Charles   Stuart  Pratt   and 
Ella  Fariiian  Pratt.     Square  8vo,  boards,  each  .75;  cloth,  i.oo. 


This  is  the  one  magazine  in  the  world  that  combines  the  best  amusiment  for  babiea 
and  the  best  help  fo?  mothers.  Uainty  stories,  tender  poem«,  wy  )inRl«.  pictures 
"autif ul :  picturS  funny.     U.B«  'Yl*.  h«avy  paper,  pretty  cover.     ,0  cents  ■^  year. 


"The  publishers,  from  long  experi- 
ence, have  come  to  understand  pretty 
accurately  what  the  babies  like  to  look 
at  in  the  way  of  pictures,  and  what  they 
like  to  have  read  to  them  in  the  wav  of 
stories.  And  that  is  why  Babyland  is 
what  it  Is,  and  why  it  appeals  no  strongly 
to  little  eyes  and  .little  ears."  —  Botton 
Tranacrift.  ,  ,      ,       ~.u 

"  A  handsome  illustrated  book.  Xhe 
illustrations  are  as  artistic  as  if  made  for 
alder  and  more  critical  readers.  We  have 


gilt  away  from  ihe  old  idea  that  anvlhin^ 
IS  good  enough  for  children  and  now 
demand  for  tlieni  the  best  in  art  and 
literature.  That  is  the  best  way  n  edu- 
cate ihem    into    the    best."  — C*/<r«^» 

"  It  IS  filled  with  good  thingi  that  wi  1 
make  the  children  merrier  and  happier. 
—  PhitaiUlphiaStar.      ,      .        ,        . 

"What  a  help  .ind  blessing  for  lh« 
tired  mother."-/'a»i>»,  Fitld  and  Stock- 
man,  Chicago. 


BAINBRIDGE  (Lucy  S.). 

ROUND  THE   WORLD   LETTERS. 


i2mo,    illustrated, 


she  made  implies.  1  he  writer  is  a  keen 
observer,  and  has  h,id  exceptional  facili- 
ties for  intelligent  observation.  The 
reader  will  feel  that  he  has  gained  a  won- 
derfully clear  notion  of  the  whole  living 
and  breathing  world,  while  yet  he  has 
been  fascinated  and  entertained  as  few 
romances  could   do  ii."— T**  H^aick- 


1.50. 

"  Mrs.  Bainbridge's  work  is  a  book 
for  all  classes  of  readers,  young  or  old, 
serious  or  gav.  The  reader  will  never 
forget  that  his  ciceron.  "round  the 
world"  is  a  Christian  woman,  while 
such  is  the  charm  of  he'  style  every 
reader  is  fascinated.  The  book  is  a  bril- 
hant  photograph  of  the  experiences  and 
observations  of  an  Intelligent  woman  in 
such  a  variety  of  Sicenes  as  such  a  lour  aa 


BAINBRIDGE  (W.  P.). 

AROUND    THE    WORLD    TOUR    OF    CHRISTIAN 
MISSIONS.    8vo,  illustrated  with  maps,  2.00 


'  A  universal  survey  of  home  and 
foreign  evangelization,  compiled  from 
personal  study  upon  the  field  of  many 
lands  and  from  conference  wuh  over  a 
thousand  missionaries.  Several  maps 
locate  all  leading  mission  stations  of  all 


denominations  of  all  Protestant  lands. 
.  .  .  No  work  in  this  line,  so  com- 
plete and  S'l  reliable  h?-  ever  been  pub- 
lished in  America,  KneUnd  or  Europe." 
—  Golden  Rult,  Boston. 


BELF-QIVINO.     i2mo,  illtistrated,  1.30 

A  story  o(  Chrimian  niifnions, 

"The  growth  of  missionary  spirit,  the 
strength  of  character  by  overcomiiiK  diffi- 
culties, the  glory  of  conseciaimn.  the 
beauty  of  sacrifice,  the  blessed  results  of 
intelligent  work,  run  throueh  the  fiction 
like  bright  •streams  I liniimhflo'very  mead- 
ows, and  like  reptiles  among  rtoivers,  we 


see  in  midst  of  sacrifices  the  repuIiiT* 
spirit  of  the  world  and  selfishness  among 
missionaries,  in  self-seeking  secretaries, 
in  adventurers  under  cloak  of  missionary 
leal,  in  the  meanness  of  gifts  and  iiiap- 
pic.i.itim-  if  «hi'  work  "  ^  Our  Church- 
man at  H  or*,  Brooklyn 


^■■i 


I 


I 


D.   LOTHROP  COMPANY'S 


ALLEN  (Willis  Boyd). 

PINE   CONES.     i2mo.  illustrated,  i.oa 


"  Piiie  Conea  akeichM  iIib  adventurM 
of  I  doien  wide-awake  boys  and  giil>  in 
th*  wooda,  along  the  atreams  and  over 
the  mouniaina.  It  ia  good,  wlioleaonie 
read.iig  that  will  make  txiya  nol>ler  and 
giria  gentler.  It  haa  nothing  of  the  over- 
goody  flavor,  but  they  are  annply  honest, 
live,  healthy  young  fulka,  wiih  warm 
blond  in  their  veina  and  good  impuliie* 
in  their  hearta,  and  are  out  for  a  good 


time.  1 1  will  make  old  blood  run  wanner 
and  revive  old  liniea  to  hear  them  whoop 
and  atie  ihem  scamper.  No  man  or 
woman  haa  a  right  to  grow  loo  old  to 
enjoy  seeing  the  young  enjoy  the  apring 
dayaot  life.  It  la  a  breeiy,  juyoua,  en- 
tertaining book,  and  we  commend  it  to 
our  young  taadtt*."  —  CAkagv  JnUr- 
Octau. 


SILVER   RAQS.     i2mo,  illustrated,  i.oo. 


"  Silver  Raga  ia  a  continuation  of 
Pine  Conea  and  is  quite  aa  delifthtful 
reading  aa  its  predecessor.  The  story 
deacribes  a  jolly  vacation  in  Maine,  and 
the  aayinga  and  doings  of  the  city  boya 
and  girls  are  varied  by  short  atories,  siiu- 
poaed  to  be  told  by  a  good-natured '  Uncle 
Will.'"  —  TMt  WatckiiMH,  Boston. 


"  Mr,  Willis  Boyd  Allen  ia  one  of  onr 
fineal  wriiera  of  juvenile  flclion.  There 
ia  an  open  fiankneas  in  Mr.  Allen'a 
charactera  which  render  them  quite  aa 
novel  aa  they  are  intereating,  and  hia 
ainiplicity  of  style  makea  the  whole  alory 
aa  tresh  and  breezy  aa  the  pine  woods 
thcmaelvea."  —  BostVH  Htrtuii. 


THE   NORTHERN    CROSS.     i2mo,  illustrated,  i.oo. 


"  The  Northern  Croaa,  a  atory  of  the 
Boatnn  Latin  School  bv  Willia  Boyd 
Allen,  ia  a  capital  book  for  boya.  Be- 
ginninK  with  a  drill  upon  Bnaton  Com- 
mon, tne  book  continues  with  many  inci- 
dents of  school  life.  There  are  recita- 
tions, with  their  auccesaes  and  failures, 
drilla  and  exhibitiona.  Over  all  ia  Dr. 
Francis  Gardner,  the  stem,  eccentric, 
warm-hearted  Head  Master,  whom  once 
to  meet  waa  to  remember  forever  I    The 


idea  of  the  Northern  Croas  for  young 
crusadera  givca  an  iinagiiiaiy  tinge  to  the 
healthy  realism."  —  Botton Journal. 

"Mr.  Willia  Boyd  Allen  appeala  to  a 
large  audience  when  he  tells  a  story  of 
the  Boston  f^aiin  School  in  the  last  year 
of  Master  Gardnei's  life.  And  even  'o 
those  who  never  had  the  privilege  of 
studying  there  the  atnry  ia  plttasanl  and 
lively."  — Am/on  Pffti. 


KELP  :    A  Story  of  the  Isle  of  Shoals.  i2mo,  illustrated,  i.oo. 

Thia  is  the  lateat  of  the  Pine  Cone  Series  and  introducea  the  same  charactera.  Their 
adventures  are  nawon  a  lonely  little  island,  one  of  the  Shoals,  where  Ihev  camp  out 
and  have  a  glorious  time  not  unmarked  by  certain  perilmia  episodes  which  hriKhien 
the  intereat  of  the  atory.  It  ia  really  the  best  of  a  series  of  which  all  are  delightful 
reading  for  young  people. 

"  It  ia  a  healthful,  clean,  bright  tmoV,  fully  through  the  veina  of  young  read> 
which  will  make  the  blood  course  health-        era.^'  —  Chicago  lnUr-Octati. 

ANAGNOS  (Julia  R.). 

PHILOSOPHIC  QUASTOR ;  or,  Days  at  Concord.     i2mo, 

60  cents. 

In  thl^  unique  book,  Mrs.  Julia  R.  Anagnna,  one  of  the  accomplished  daughters  of 
Julia  Ward  Howe,  presents,  under  cover  of  a  pleasing  narrative,  a  sketch  of  the 
Emerson  session  of  the  Concord  School  of  Philosophy.  It  has  for  its  frontispiece  an 
excellent  picture  of  the  building  occupied  by  thia  renowned  school. 

"The  seeker  of  philosophical  truth, 
who  is  described  aa  the  ahadowy  figure  of 


a  young  girl,  is  throughout  very  expres- 
sive of  desire  and  appreciation.  The  im- 
pressions she  receivea  are  those  to  which 
such  a  condition  are  most  aensilive  —  the 
higher  and  more  refined  ones — and  the 
resiuinsive  thoughts  concern  the  nature 
anri  clviraeier  of  what  is  heard  or  felt. 
Mm.  .Anagnoa  haa  written  a  prose  poem. 


in  which  the  laal  two  sessions  of  the 
Concord  School  of  Philosophy,  which 
include  that  in  memory  of  Emerao  and 
ita  lecturers  excite  her  feelinga  and  inapire 
her  thought.  It  is  aung  in  lofty  straina 
that  resemble  those  of  the  sacred  woods 
and  fount,  and  themselves  are  communi- 
cative of  their  spirit.  It  will  be  welcomed 
as  an  appropriate  souvenir." — Bottom 
GItit. 


1  blood  run  wanner 
J  hear  them  whoop 
«r.  No  mail  or 
o  grow  too  old  to 
K  enjoy  the  tpriiig 
breeiy,  joyou»,  en- 
we  commend  it  to 
—  Chicago  InUr- 


Allen  is  one  of  oar 
lile  flclion.  There 
w  in  Mr.  Allen'* 
der  them  quite  ai 
iteresiiiig,  and  hit 
kes  the  whole  aiory 
>8  the  pine  woods 
»  HtnUd. 

ed,  1. 00. 
n  Cross  for  young 
aginary  linge  to  the 
Hoslonjoumal. 
Allen  appeals  to  a 
he  tells  a  story  of 
lool  in  the  last  year 
,  life.  And  even  ~o 
id  the  privilege  of 
nry  is  ploasanl  and 

illustrated,  i.oo. 

le  characters.  Their 
here  they  camp  out 
>des  which  hrighien 
ich  all  are  deiightfut 

tins  of  young  read- 
tr-Ociau, 


Uncord.     i2mo. 


iplithed  daughters  ot 
ve,  a  sketch  of  the 
or  its  frontispiece  m 
>1. 

two  sessions  of  the 
Philosophy,  which 
urv  of  Emerso  and 
!r  feelings  and  inspire 
sung  in  lofty  strains 
of  the  sacred  woods 
iselves  are  communi- 
It  will  be  welcomed 
souvenir." — Botlim 


SELECT   LIST  OF   BOOKS. 


BATES  (Clara  Doy). 

iBSOP'S  FABLES  l\ersitied). 


Lungreii, 
(4) 


With  73  full-page  illustrationt 


Sweeney,    tiariics    and    Uassam.      tjuarto^ 


awake  young  people."—  Boaten Journal, 
"  The  illuHtiatiuns  Introduce  all  classes 
of  subiects,  and  are  original  and  superior 
work.    —  Boston  UI06*. 


by  Garrett, 

cloth,  1.50. 

"  Mrs.  Hales  ha"  turned  the  wit  and 
wisdom  ill  »  doii-Mi  ot  ^sop's  Fables 
into  jolly  rhythmical  narratives,  whose 
good  humor  will  be  appreciated  by  wide- 

BLIND  JAKBY.     Illustrated,  i6mo,  .50.     (5) 
HEART'S  CONTENT.     121110,  1.25. 
See  Child  Lore  (Clara  Doty  Bates,  editor). 

BATES  (Katherine  Lee). 

SUNSHINE.    Oblong  32mo,  illustrated  by  W.  L.  Taylor,  .5a 
A  little  poem,  In  which  the  wild  flowers  and  sunshine  play  their  pari  in  driving 
away  the  bad  temper  of  a  little  lass  who  had  hidden  away  in  the  grass  in  a  fit  of  sulks. 

SANTA  CLAUS  RIDDLE.    A  Poem.    Square  lamo,  illus- 
trated in  colors,  paper,  .35. 
See  Wedding-Day  Book  (Katherine  Lee  Bates  editor). 

BEDSIDE  POETRY. 

Edited  by  Wendell  P.  Garrison.  i6mo,  plain  doth,  .75;  fanqr 
cloth,  I.oo. 

This  collection  it  for  the  heme,  and  for  a  particular  season.  "  Few  fathert  and 
motliers."  says  Mr.  Garrison,  "  appreciate  the  peculiar  value  of  the  bedtime  hour  for 
confirming  filial  and  parental  affection,  and  for  conveying  reproof  to  ears  never  so 
attentive  or  resistlesss.  Words  said  then  sink  deep,  and  the  reading  of  poetry  of  a 
high  moral  tone  and,  at  the  same  time,  of  an  attractive  character,  it  apt  to  plant  seed 
which  will  bear  good  fruit  in  the  future." 

"There  is  seldom  a  compilation  of 
verve  at  once  so  wisely  limited  and  so 
well  extended,  so  choice  in  character  and 
to  fine  in  quality  as  Bedside  Poetry,  edi- 
ted by  Wendell  P.  Garrison.  He  has 
chosen  four-score  pieces '  of  a  rather  high 
order,  the  remembrance  of  which  will  bo 
a  joy  forever  and  a  potent  factor  in  the 
formation  not  merely  of  character  but  of 
literary  taste.'    Therefore  he  hat  given 


Emerson  and  Cowper,  Wordsworth, 
Leigh  Hunt,  Shelleyj-  Southey,  Coler- 
idge, William  Blake,  IJurns,  Thackeray, 
I^owell,  Tennyson,  Shakespeare,  Mrs. 
Hemans,  Mrs.  Kemble,  Holmes,  Whit- 
tier  and  Arthur  Hugh  dough.  We  find 
cheer  and  courage,  truth  and  fortitude, 
puriiy  and  humor,  and  all  the  great  posi- 
tive virtues,  put  convincingly  in  these 
lelections."  —  Sfring^itld  Rtpublican. 


BELL  (Mrs.  Lucia  Chase). 

TRUE  BLUE,     izmo,  10  illustrations  by  Merrill,  1.25.    (5) 

The  scene  Is  laid  in  the  far  West,  and  the  incidents  are  such  as  could  only  occur  in 
a  newly  developed  country,  where  even  children  are  taught  to  depend  upon  themselves. 

"  Doe,  the  warm-hearted,  in:pulsive  copying  by  those  who  read  her  adven' 
heroine  of  the  story,  is  an  original  char-  tures  and  experiences."  — 7?rtro«V  ''•«« 
acter,  and  one  whose  ways  are  well  worth 


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